


The Continued Adventures of the Warrior and the Child

by Bif_With_A_Fic



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Canon Related, Chronic Pain, Disabled Character, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Seizures, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2020-06-28 00:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 60,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19800733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bif_With_A_Fic/pseuds/Bif_With_A_Fic
Summary: Once, the Lasat elder Chava told Alexsandr Kallus that he had a role to play in the prophecy of Lira San. He was the Warrior just as Garazeb Orrelios was the Child. That was some time ago. Alex has now defected  from the Empire. He's integrated well into his role in Ghost Crew and within the greater Rebellion. He's found love with the Lasat, Garazeb Orrelios. He's even, to his surprise, found a family of sorts in the Ghost Crew, a family that cares for him just as much as he's come to care for them. But knowing this and believing it are two separate things. It will take events beyond Kallus's control to really make the Warrior see that not everything in life has to be a battle and that his adventures with the Child have only just begun.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear reader! Thank you for visiting my humble fic. This story was born out of a love for these characters and their story. (Obligatory statement about how neither they nor Star Wars Rebels belong to me) I hope I have done these characters justice and not veered too far from the source material. I've tried to handle all aspects of this story with as much care and consideration as possible. I hope that's apparent in the reading. NOTE: This story will contain mpreg. If that's not something you want to read, feel free to find a different fic to enjoy.

Chapter 1

"You're going." Zeb's tone left little room for argument but Alexsandr tried anyway.

"I really don't think it's necessary."

"I know it's none of my business", Hera interjected, "but how many times in the last month have you had problems with your leg?"

"That depends", Alexsandr responded.

"On?" Ezra asked.

"What's today?" Alexsandr asked cringing in anticipation.

"YOU'RE GOING!" all of Ghost Crew said in unison.

And that is how Alexsandr Kallus found himself on the way to the med bay escorted by Sabine, who had somehow been voted most likely make Alex do something for his health without arguing.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to help. I just don't understand how I got picked," she mused.

Alexsandr sighed, "It's probably due in equal parts to the fact that you scare me a little and I do like you quite a lot." He walked a few steps ahead of her as she stood contemplating his answer.

"Aw, you like me? I had no idea," she said with mock sweetness.

"Don't push it", Alexsandr quipped right back.

"Ha too late, I know you like me now," she smirked.

Alexsandr's tone became put upon, "Bine. May I call you Bine?" She nodded and he continued, "You're making my leg hurt."

"Lucky for you we're here!" With entirely too much smugness, she nodded towards the med bay entrance.

Alexsandr rolled his eyes farther than should have been strictly possible. "I still think this is unnecessary, just for the record."

"Noted, now go." She leveled her gaze at him. "I'll be waiting."

"And there's Scary Bine," he joked. "Seriously though, thank you." He smiled, "Ok back in a bit," and walking through the door, he left her in the hallway.

A bit, as it turned out, was several hours. So that when Alexsandr exited the med bay it was to find Ezra waiting on him in Sabine's place. The young Jedi waved at him and stood up from his reclined position against the stone wall.

"Sabine had to go start getting ready for her trip back to Mandalore in a few days, so she asked me to wait for you," Ezra explained. Alexsandr only nodded in acknowledgment, seemingly distracted by the data stick in his hand.

"What's that?" Ezra asked.

"Oh, um," Alexsandr faltered, "some test results and notes from the medics." Shaking his head as if to clear it, he asked, "Shall we head back to the Ghost, or are you needed elsewhere?"

"No, I'm all yours for the next few hours. How about some lunch?" He started making his way outside and Alexsandr followed agreeing, "That sounds like a great idea."

As they settled in the galley and fell to business eating, companionable silence surrounded them. Finally it was broken by Ezra clearing his throat.

"So, you said something about test results," he started, "Were they good? I mean you're ok right?"

Alexsandr wanted to brush the question off. Wanted to give himself a little more time to process all of the information he'd been given. But the look on Ezra's face, the clear concern, told him he had to say something.

"I'm ok," he assured the boy. "They didn't have much to tell me that I didn't already know." Not true, said the voice in his head. "Where my leg was broken and basically completely healed before I ever saw a Bacta tank, it didn't heal as well as it should have. That's caused muscle weakness and some nerve damage." He saw Ezra grimace but continued, "Add to that my age and the fact that the human body gets…cranky with time and you have the perfect conditions for chronic pain," he finished, "But like I said, "all of that's nothing new." But that's not all is it? The voice in his head goaded him, but again he shook it off.

"I was properly admonished for the way I take care of myself, Alexsandr laughed, "though again, that's nothing new, what with my being a part of Ghost Crew."

Ezra grinned at that, at the same time as Zeb's voice came from behind Alexsandr, "Like I keep telling ya. Yer just gonna have to get used t' that." Alexsandr gave Ezra a look asking how long Zeb had been listening. But the Jedi just shrugged and started clearing their lunch dishes before exiting. Zeb came up and put his hands on Alexsandr's shoulders, pulling him back gently to lean against him.

"Do I need to fill you in or did you hear everything while you were lurking?" Alexsandr cocked his head at the Lasat.

"I think I got the important parts," Zeb smiled down at him, "Unless there was something else you needed to tell me?" Yes, the voice in Alexsandr's head whispered. He shook his head, "Nothing." I just don't know how to tell you, he thought to himself.

"In that case," Zeb smiled, coming around to stand in front of Alexsandr and pull him up from his seat, "How about an afternoon nap?"

As he nodded in response, his feet tangled under him and he tripped forward. Zeb steadied him with a gentle hand against his middle. At Zeb's touch it was as if Alexsandr's lungs quit working. His mind raced and before he knew it he was falling again, this time caught by Zeb's arm around his shoulder, his other hand still maintaining contact with his abdomen.

"Ok Kal what is going on with you?" Zeb questioned, "Yer startin’ to worry me here."

"Starting," Alexsandr huffed quietly before smiling, "I'm sorry. I think my visit to the med bay might have been more taxing than I realized." Liar, the voice in his head spat. Straightening, he moved further into Zeb's embrace. "Now, I think you said something about a nap?" Embraced in each other's hold they made their way into the bunk they shared.


	2. Chapter 2

"This is not good," with a groan, Alex straightened up as the former contents of his stomach swirled down the drain. It was the second time he'd been sick that morning, a feat he couldn't quite comprehend given how little he'd been able to eat. He was seriously considering returning to the med bay, despite the fact that his most recent visit had been less than a month prior.

As he stood contemplating there was a knock on the refresher door. "A moment!" He called. Straightening his clothes and checking his reflection in the mirror quickly, he exited and was met with Sabine propped against the doorway.

"Good morning!" She chirped. Alexsandr couldn't quite stifle the urge to cringe as her voice cut into his consciousness like a laser.

Seeing this, her tone immediately became more serious, "Hey you ok? You look like shab…no offense."

"Just a bit under the weather, it seems," he assured her. Not true said his inner voice. "Nothing that won't clear up soon I'm sure." That's not true either the voice supplied.

He managed a small smile before leaving her and making his way to the galley. There he found Hera busy making tea. "Morning," he greeted her.

"Morning Kal-," she started distractedly, cutting herself off when she looked up at him, "Alex you look like-".

"Shab?" He finished for her, "I'm aware. Bine told me as much." He lowered himself into a seat at the table with a groan, "Mind if I join you in some of that tea? Haven't had any luck keeping much of anything down this morning."

"Of course," Hera smiled sympathetically and set about pouring them both a mug. She passed one to him which he accepted gratefully before sitting down opposite him. They sat in companionable silence for several minutes before either of them spoke.

"It might not taste the greatest, but this does the trick for morning sickness," Hera commented. Kallus thought for a moment he was going to choke but recovered quickly.

"I don't think it tastes all that bad," he managed. "Although Zeb says he thinks my taste buds are broken." He chuckled, "This from the guy who would eat waffles every day for the rest of his life."

Hera quirked an eyebrow at him commenting, "The only people I've talked to who think this is even remotely palatable were all experiencing morning sickness."

"Well that just proves my point then don't it?' Zeb asked having heard the exchange. He slid into the seat next to Kallus and grinning, "Your taste buds are broken." He stole a quick kiss before adding, "And waffles are amazin'."

Alexsandr laughed softly and drained the rest of the tea in his mug. Closing his eyes he leaned back to recline against Zeb, one hand resting on his stomach, silently willing the tea to quell his nausea. After all, he thought, there's no reason it shouldn't work.

Zeb moved them closer together and moved a hand to join Alexsandr's, saying softly, "'M sorry yer sick Sasha."

Alexsandr smiled softly. Without opening his eyes he answered, "Garazeb it's not your-," stopping mid-sentence his eyes flew open and he sat forward, panting slightly, "Zeb, move."

Zeb, who had already shifted away from him at the sudden change in behavior, stood quickly. Alexsandr was up and past him in a moment, barreling down the hall and into the refresher, barely checking whether it was empty. Once inside, he lowered himself to the floor just in time for all of the tea he'd just consumed to come right back up. His stomach again emptied, Alexsandr laid down on the floor, panting with his heartbeat thundering in his ears.

A few minutes went by before he realized that part of the sound he was hearing wasn't his heartbeat, instead a steady knocking sounded on the door followed by Zeb's voice telling him he was coming in. The sight of Alexsandr curled up on the floor must have surprised him because he rushed forward and knelt down next to him.

"Alex, hey Alex stay with me love," Zeb coaxed, apparently believing Alexsandr was on the verge of unconsciousness. To disprove this, Alexsandr blinked profusely and attempted to very slowly sit up. Zeb held out a hand from where he was squatted next to Kallus so he could lever himself upright.

"You alright?" The only answer Zeb received was for Alexsandr to lean forward and begin heaving again. But there was nothing else to bring up, so after a few minutes of dry heaving he curled in on himself, arms crossed over his stomach.

Zeb moved to retrieve a glass of water and compress he'd brought with him. He handed the glass over ordering, "Drink that, if you can, slowly." While Alexsandr complied, Zeb took the compress and laid it on the back of Alexsandr's neck after wiping his forehead. "Better?" He asked. Alexsandr only nodded in response. "Think you can stand?"

Alexsandr set the glass down and tried to mentally gather himself before attempting to stand. He got one knee under him before the world went sideways and he found himself in Zeb's solid but gentle embrace. "I gotcha," Zeb reassured him. "Together, right?" Alexsandr nodded again and they slowly stood, Zeb supporting a fair amount of Alexsandr's weight. After a minute Zeb asked, "Ready to move?” Not that this isn't a great hangout, but I for one need a change of scenery."

A laugh bubbled up from inside Alexsandr, followed by a grunt as he leaned against Zeb, squeezing his hand tight. When he could speak he answered, "I think I'd very much like to lie down actually."

Beginning to move them out of the refresher, Zeb mused, "Speaking sense? Willingly doing something good for yourself? Oh yeah, you're sick alright."

They were out in the hallway at this point. Alexsandr tried to sound indignant, "Well if I am sick, you should be nice to me." This statement ended in another laugh that itself ended in Alexsandr unconsciously curling in on himself again, one arm wrapped around his middle as he groaned.

"Hey, hey easy. Yer alright. Lean into me or we'll both fall," Zeb tried to direct him but he was beyond hearing. "Karabast. I need a little help here!" He yelled to whoever was in earshot.

That person happened to be Kanan who hurried to where Zeb stood supporting Alexsandr. "What happened? No, never mind. What can I do?" He asked.

Nodding in the direction of their bunk Zeb grunted, "Get ahead of me and open the door will ya? Need to get him laid down. Think he's out cold."

Somehow he managed to rearrange his grip without dropping Alexsandr. Moving slowly he eventually maneuvered them into the bunk room that they shared and laid Alexsandr on the bed. Alexsandr seemed to come back around slightly. Moaning and curling around his middle, slurring what sounded like it could have been Zeb's name.

Kneeling he took Alexsandr's hand in his and carded his fingers through his hair with the other hand, "I'm right here Lex. Just sleep ok. I'm not going anywhere."

"Garazeb," Alexsandr's voice was weak,” 'M sorry Garazeb, should've told you."

"Hey hush there's nothing to be sorry for," Zeb shushed him, "Sleep alright. Just sleep."

"Zeb, my Zeb," Alexsandr sighed and relaxed completely, except for his hold on Zeb's hand.

With a squeeze, Zeb let Alexsandr's hand go, resting it on the bed. Kanan, who'd stood by silently, tapped Zeb on the shoulder and nodded to indicate Zeb should follow him out of the room. Standing to follow, Zeb turned back to set a trash can next to the bed. Satisfied for the moment he followed the Jedi out into the hall.

"Thanks for the help," Zeb acknowledged.

"Sure thing," Kanan responded. "How long has he been like this?"

Zeb sighed and ran a hand down his face before answering, "Today is the worst it's been but I'd say the vomiting and cramping started a week ago at least. It wasn't as severe at first so I wasn't overly concerned. Now though," Zeb trailed off.

"I think you should definitely be concerned," Kanan stated. "On top of the obvious physical stress, I noticed something off about his energy."

"What'd'ya mean?" Zeb asked immediately on alert.

"It might be nothing," Kanan admitted. "But there was definitely something different about his energy field. I can't say for sure what it would be though. Just keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary," he suggested.

"Kanan that pretty much describes our day to day," Zeb deadpanned.

Kanan laughed, "You know what I mean. Hey," he added, "think you can handle things now? I need to go find Hera."

"Sure, no problem," Zeb said, "And Kanan? Thanks again."

"No problem buddy," Kanan returned, waving before he set off in search of the captain.

Zeb returned to the bunk room and, not having anything else to occupy him, he sat down in the chair and pulled out the data pad in their shared desk. As he was about to start browsing the holonet, he saw a file he didn't recognize in the recently downloaded queue. The filename had Alexsandr's name in it. It was then that Zeb realized he was on Alexsandr's datapad and not his own. The file was dated the day he'd gone to the med bay. Presumably it contained any orders or care directions he'd been given by the medics.

Zeb knew he ought to leave it alone. Apart from being an invasion of privacy, if there was anything in the file that Zeb needed to know, he would have been told. His mind went back to Kanan's comment about something being off about Alexsandr. Then there was whatever Alexsandr had been trying to tell him, the thing he'd felt the need to apologize for. Taken together, Zeb found he was very tempted to open and read the file's contents.

He didn't get the chance however. Alexsandr began to stir and wake up slowly, blinking and trying to take in his surroundings. When he realized where he was he relaxed back into the pillows. Shifting slightly, he turned his head and was met with Zeb's uncertain gaze.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Alexsandr seemed to still be fighting unconsciousness. Zeb for his part was caught between wanting to go to him and not wanting to startle him. Finally he made a decision.

Putting the datapad down on the desk he turned to fully face Alexsandr. Coughing quietly he smiled that lopsided grin Alexsandr loved so much. "Hey you," he came out with. Immediately he grimaced internally. Garazeb Orrelios, smoothest Lasat in the honor guard he thought to himself.

Alexsandr didn't seem to notice the less than smooth greeting. A small smile settled on his face. Reaching out his hand he whispered, "Zeb, my Zeb," as he had earlier.

"The one and only," Zeb tried to joke. But he stopped short of saying anything else noticing the stricken look on Alexsandr's face. "Hey, hey what's wrong? He asked. Alexsandr suddenly looked as if he might start hyperventilating at any moment. "Coming back to you?" Alexsandr could only nod. "You feel sick now? Any pain?" Zeb questioned. This time Alexsandr shook his head as the breath caught in his chest.

"Zeb," Alexsandr choked out. And that was all it took. Zeb was up and across the short distance between them grasping at Alexsandr's outstretched hand and kneeling next to the bed.

"Kal, Kal look at me," Zeb instructed. "I need you to listen to me ok? You're fine. Alright? Everything is fine. Alex. Hey look at me." Zeb kept trying but Alexsandr was sinking into a panic attack fast. His breath was coming in shorter and shorter gasps in quick succession. His eyes darted back and forth, unfocused.

Noticing that Alexsandr had begun to shake he swore, "Karabast! Sasha if you can hear me I'm going to help you alright? It's me, it's Garazeb. Nothing to worry about, Zeb's got you." And with that Zeb scooped Alexsandr up and laid them both down on the floor pulling down a pillow and blanket for Alexsandr in the process. He situated them with as much of Alex's body tucked against him as possible, wrapping his arms around Alexsandr's back and massaging circles into his taut muscles.

While he worked he whispered nonsense in Alexsandr's ear, keeping his voice intentionally level and soft. He told him he loved him. He told him he was safe. But in between the affirmations he spoke complete nothingness. Rocking their bodies back and forth in what he hoped was a soothing motion.

Zeb had no idea how long they stayed like that but eventually he noticed that Alexsandr's shaking had stopped and his breathing had returned to normal. Fearing what sudden movements might do, he slowed his ministrations and spoke softly, "Kal?" At first nothing happened. But slowly Alexsandr began to unwind himself from Zeb. Leaning his head back, he blinked up at Zeb and smiled crookedly, "Zeb."

Zeb cupped Alexsandr's face, the pads of his thumbs running over Alexsandr's cheeks and facial hair. Looking at him straight on like this Zeb could see Alexsandr's eyes were clear now, focused and fixed on him. This brought unadulterated relief to Zeb who could only bring their foreheads to rest together and smile drunkenly back.

Suddenly Alexsandr drew back and blinked, "Garazeb? Are we on the floor?" He questioned.

"Oh! Ha! Yeah we are. Are you ok? Do you need to move to the bed?" Zeb fussed.

"No. I'm quite alright. But may I ask how we got on the floor?" Alexsandr continued.

Zeb snuggled closer before answering, "It was the only thing I could think of to do." When Alexsandr cocked his head in confusion Zeb continued, "You woke up earlier and when everything from this morning came back to you, you started having a panic attack." Alexsandr had stiffened in his hold but Zeb continued, "You left me for a while there Sasha. I had to do something to bring you back to me." Zeb's voice broke and he ducked his head into the crook of Alexsandr's neck.

It was Alexsandr's turn to soothe Zeb as he fought back tears on Alexsandr's shoulder. "I assure you I'm perfectly alright now." Even as he spoke the words the voice in his head asked are you really though? Aren't you just lying to him because you don't think you can face the truth?

Zeb's mind was taking a similar path it appeared because his voice, muffled by Alexsandr's shirt asked, "You're not though are you? I mean you're sick. Sicker than I've ever seen you." Alexsandr stopped him before he could spiral into worry again.

Alexsandr was about to explain why his sickness truly was not cause for alarm. But at that exact moment pain coursed up his right leg into his hip and around to his lower back. The suddenness of it took his breath away and he held onto Zeb tightly barely resisting the urge to cry out.

"Zeb," he ground out, "I need to move. My leg has had enough of the floor."

Leaning back to see the pained look on Alexsandr's face Zeb swore again, "Kriff, I'm sorry! I'll help you up, just one second." Zeb untangled himself from Alexsandr completely. Grabbing the blanket he tossed it back on the bed before getting to his knees and wrapping an arm around Alexsandr's waist. "Sit up first and then we'll go from there yeah?"

Alexsandr nodded and Zeb proceeded to lever him into a sitting position. "Need a minute?” Alexsandr answered with another nod. After a minute he moved to get on his knees grunting as his right knee protested the weight.

"Go as slow as you need to," Zeb reminded him.

"I think faster might be better in this case," Alexsandr answered.

"You're the boss," Zeb responded, tightening his grip on Alexsandr, he locked eyes with him, "Ready? On 3...1, 2, and 3!" And with that Zeb stood and pulled Alexsandr to his feet.

Once upright, it was all Alexsandr could do to keep his knees from buckling. Holding tight to Zeb he took a moment to assess his position. He quickly decided that standing was somehow worse than the floor. "Zeb, bed!" He groaned loudly. Without a word Zeb turned and lowered him to the bed, lifting his legs up and helping him to lie down.

Mid motion Zeb stopped, "On your side is better yeah? Roll if you can." Alexsandr did as asked, rolling on to his left side. Once positioned Zeb lifted Alexsandr's right leg.

"Aahhh Zeb, stop!" Alexsandr cried out.

"Trust me love," he said softly. Taking a pillow from the top bunk he slid it between Alexsandr's legs. "Better?" He asked.

"Nearly perfect," Alexsandr sighed contentedly.

"What else you need?" Zeb asked.

"Lay with me?" Alexsandr mumbled already falling back to sleep.

"You got it." Zeb smiled and positioned himself next to Alexsandr as gently as possible. Curling up against his back, they were both soon fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Dreams were waiting for Alexsandr. Or perhaps memories would be a better description, real and detailed as they were. He was back in the med bay, the day of his visit nearly a month ago. He was somehow aware that the slight pain he was feeling in his leg was through the dream and not actually real. Still he found himself working the muscles of his thigh trying to relieve the tension. This distracted him until he heard someone entering the room.

The medic greeted him genially and began asking him the standard questions one expects at a doctor's appointment. Alexsandr explained quickly the issues he'd been experiencing with his leg. He also made sure to mention that this visit was being made under duress from his crew.

After getting a basic understanding of the situation, the medic decided that to be as thorough as possible they ought to do a complete physical, both to troubleshoot for other issues and just to have something of Alexsandr's medical history on file, as they had very little in that regard. Alexsandr couldn't very well ignore the logic in that, so he agreed. He was given a gown and asked to change. After doing so he waited a short period before a different medic came in and began the physical.

Alexsandr answered more questions than he could even remember. He was asked to stretch and bend and flex in every ridiculous direction possible. His eyesight, hearing and reflexes were tested. Just when he was about to reach his limit of being poked and prodded the medic spoke, "Ok that's all from me!" Alexsandr couldn't hold back a sigh of relief, "Now if you'll just lie back on the table, someone else will be in shortly to do a few scans and take some blood samples." With that the medic left swiftly and so missed Alexsandr glowering as the door closed.

But he did as he was asked and made himself as comfortable as possible on the table. In a few minutes the medic who had greeted him at the beginning of the appointment entered the room explaining, "This shouldn't take too much longer Captain. We just want to get a full body scan and a few blood samples to make sure we stay ahead of any health issues that might occur in the future. Are your vaccines up to date?"

"I believe so," he answered.

"Any allergies?"

"Meiloorun unfortunately."

"Me too! A shame they're so good! Alright let's get started. Hold out your hand," the medic took hold of one of Alexsandr's fingers and used a lancet to get a small blood sample. "Ow!" Alexsandr cried. "Oh hush. While that's processing we'll start the scan. The medic inserts the blood sample into a small handheld device hit a few buttons and set it off to the side. A few more button presses on a separate console started the scanner.

Alexsandr settled back his eyes closed as the soft glow of the scanner light slid over the top of his head and down his face and chest. It stopped at his abdomen and stayed there for several minutes. At the same time the device that had been processing the blood sample chimed indicating that it was finished. The scanner started moving again only to halt at Alexsandr's pelvis before proceeding slowly down toward his feet. Once finished, a report appeared on the console across the room.

The medic studied both the scan and blood sample readouts silently. After several minutes the medic spoke, "Captain Kallus, I'm going to go take your results to the doctor on call. We'll be back shortly." With that the medic left, leaving Alexsandr alone and suddenly very nervous about what those results showed.

"There's no reason to lose your cool yet," he reasoned to himself, "You knew there were things that were going to come up on the scan. That's why you're here, because you have a problem. If they've found it, that's a good thing. Just relax." Letting out a breath he relaxed back onto the table.

A few minutes later both the medic and the doctor returned. The medic was looking decidedly nervous but the doctor seemed calm, shaking Alexsandr's hand before getting right to the point with, "Captain Kallus are you aware that you are intersex?"

Alexsandr's eyes bulged and he struggled to sit up as he spluttered, "I'm sorry, what does that have to do with- I mean of course I am."

The doctor nodded before continuing, "I'd assumed as much but I wanted to confirm. And you are sexually active correct?" Though the way the question was presented told Kallus that he didn't need to confirm it. Instead he asked, "May I ask why I'm being questioned like some cadet in health class?"

The doctor's smile became strained, "Apologies Captain, I meant no disrespect, truly. I am merely trying to ascertain necessary details regarding how you came to be in this situation."

Alexsandr did his best to school his tone and features into restraint, all the while his mind was trying to reach the same conclusion the doctor was obviously at and failing. "What situation would that be?" He managed as level as possible.

The doctor locked eyes with Alexsandr, holding all of his concentration in that moment, "Captain Kallus, you're pregnant."

The rest of the appointment was a complete blur for Alexsandr. He was assured things were going well and that in most respects he was healthy. He needed to take generally better care of himself but that was nothing Alexsandr didn't already know. As for his leg there was little that could be done at present unfortunately until the nerve pain and weakness got worse. How much worse exactly, Alexsandr remembered thinking.

Before he knew it he'd gotten dressed and was walking out of the med bay with a data stick containing notes from the doctor and all of his test results, including his pregnancy test, Alexsandr realized. Squeezing his fist around it, he stepped through the door looking for Sabine. Instead he found Ezra and raised a hand to wave only to stop short as a cramp took him by surprise.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought, No. This isn't right. That didn't happen. But the pain persisted, forcing him to his knees as Ezra knelt down beside him. Suddenly everything started to fade and Alexsandr found himself alone in his bunk, the pain continuing in a steady, squeezing pressure. He considered briefly trying to ignore the pain and just go back to sleep. But he quickly realized that his empty stomach was compounding the discomfort and that sleep wasn't going to come back to him easily.

Grumbling to himself he began to slowly sit up and swing his legs off the edge of the bed. To his surprise he found that aside from the slight discomfort in his abdomen he actually felt better than he had in at least a day. He mused that he might actually be able to hold down food and the thought alone made his stomach growl audibly. "Well I guess that's decided then, he chuckled softly and set about getting to his feet and making his way to the door, turning back to grab the blanket off the bed and wrap it around his shoulders before venturing out into the hall and making his way slowly to the galley where voices drifted to him softly.

"What if I stayed back? Ezra was asking.

"Yer serious?" That was Zeb. But what were they talking about?

"Well yeah, between the two of us it makes more sense for you to go on this mission and it's not like we can all go and leave Kallus alone." Alexsandr slowed to a halt when he heard his name. The voices continued.

Hera spoke this time, "There's no point in bringing him along in the shape he's in right now." Kallus suddenly wished he weren't standing here listening to whatever discussion he was apparently the center of. It was always his goal to be of as much use to the rebellion as possible so to hear that Ghost Crew were considering leaving him out of a mission, that they didn't even have faith in his ability to take care of himself was more upsetting than Alexsandr wanted to admit.

He was almost at the doorway of the galley but still considered turning and going back to the bunk room. As he started to turn however a cramp caught him off guard causing him to grunt. The voices in the galley stopped suddenly and there was a flurry of movement into the hall. Before Alexsandr could register what was happening Zeb was on one side of him and Ezra was on the other as he was ushered into the galley and sat gently between them at the table. A warm mug was pushed into his hands, broth this time, not tea he noticed. Looking up he caught Hera's smile and encouraging nod before he took a small sip.

Sighing he sat back and began speaking softly with his head down, "You all have my apologies for not living up to the expectations set by my role here. The last thing I want is for you to have to contend with my weaknesses and failures."

Silence followed his statement, aside from Rex's, "Oh Captain Kallus can be a dramatic one can't he?" This was followed quickly by the Clone grunting, presumably from being elbowed by Kanan.

Zeb coughed softly and moved closer to Kallus before starting, "Ok first off, no one in this rebellion, let alone anyone on this crew thinks of you as weak. And you have saved every one of our tails I've lost count how many times so you're far from being a failure."

Alexsandr looked up cutting him off, "But you're leaving me out of a mission. I heard you trying to decide who was going to babysit me. Surely you've lost faith in me if even captain Hera is talking about how I'm in no shape for a mission." Here he hung his head again.

He heard rather than saw Kanan come to stand next to Zeb. His words were directed at Kallus though. "You aren't in any kind of shape for a mission and that's a fact." Alexsandr flinched.

"Ah, Kanan", Zeb tried to interject but he kept going, "It would make absolutely no sense to drag you along on a mission in the state you're in now. The only thing that would be sure to happen is you'd put yourself and probably someone else in danger. And in case you haven't noticed, we aren't exactly the kind of people who willingly and willfully endanger the people we care about."

Silence hung in the air for a few beats before Alexsandr's head rose suddenly and he locked eyes with Kanan, a light suddenly dawning in his eyes, "People you...care about?"

Hera came to sit on the table and leaned over taking one of Alexsandr's hands, "Ghost Crew is a family and you're as much a part of it as anyone else here," her eyes swept over all of the members of Ghost Crew present before coming back to Kallus. To her surprise his head was bowed again, shoulders shaking as silent sobs escaped him. She squeezed the hand still held as Ezra moved closer placing a hand on his arm.

After a few minutes Alexsandr sniffed and exhaled loudly before murmuring, "I don't deserve any of this." Before he could continue Ezra cut him off with an eye roll and, "Weren't you listening? We think you deserve it. We know you do. So what do you say? Will you let us take care of you? Starting with hanging out with me for a few days while the rest of these guys go work their butts off?" He dipped his head into Alexsandr's field of view and wagged his eyebrows comically.

Alexsandr huffed a laugh and nodded, "Yeah I think I can probably manage that." Turning to Zeb he asked, "Is there anything I can do, within reason," he added seeing Zeb about to object, "before you all head off I mean."

"Oh for the love of shab," Rex muttered, "Alexsandr! Your work in the Intel division is what gives the rest of us our missions. Everything you can do to help? You've done it, and then some. Relax! Please, before these family meetings become a regular thing."

"Does that mean he likes me too?" Alexsandr smirked at Zeb.

Rex smothered a grin unsuccessfully, "Don't press your luck."

The group dispersed to their respective quarters but not before each of them had hugged, patted or otherwise showed Alexsandr affection. Soon only he and Zeb were left sitting in the galley. Suddenly something occurred to Zeb. "What made you come out here in the first place?"

Alexsandr blushed, "Well cramps woke me up but-," Zeb cut him off, "You're in pain? Karabast why didn't you say something? How can I help? What do you need?"

He blinked as Alexsandr physically shushed him, placing a finger against his lips, "As I said cramps woke me up but that only made me realize I'm hungry." Frowning down at the mug in his hand he asked, "Would you mind warming this up for me?"

Kissing the side of his head, Zeb took the mug from him, "Anything for you Sasha." Zeb using the pet name made Alexsandr flush and roll his eyes. He suddenly realized his face was still wet with tears and wiped vigorously at his cheeks.

Slumping back in his seat he glowered, "I can't believe I was that emotional in front of everyone."

Zeb came back with the mug of broth and sat down before speaking, "I think it was a good thing. You don't really open up to anyone except me and even I have to practically use a crowbar to get you to open up sometimes." This elicited a side eye from Alexsandr, "It's the truth! Karabast Sasha I know it's difficult but at some point you have to get used to being honest with people about how you feel and what you think. You have to be able to let people in and share yourself with them."

"Or else I'll find myself alone again, I know I know."

"What? Kriff that's not what I meant. It’s just that you could benefit from being open and accepting of people's good intentions. Ha! You think you're getting rid of us because you're a functional mess? Try again."

Alexsandr elbowed Zeb playfully at that comment and received the same in turn. Only Zeb elbowing him elicited a grunt followed by a groan as a cramp started up in his abdomen. "Karabast did I do that? I'm sorry Sasha!" With that he reached down to where Alexsandr's hand was massaging the muscles and started to do the same.

Alexsandr immediately relaxed under his touch and would have fallen asleep then and there if Zeb hadn't stopped and prompted him to finish his broth. Once he did, Zeb carefully stood him up and got them both back to the bunk room and Alexsandr into bed just as he started snoring softly. Before climbing into bed himself he made sure a trash can and water were nearby in case Alexsandr got sick again. That done he curled up against Alexsandr's back draping one arm over him ready to massage away any more cramps Alexsandr might have and promptly fell asleep.

Again Alex dreamed. But this time he knew he wasn't reliving memories, though some parts were familiar. He was on Lira San. Zeb was with him. They were in the yard of a small house Alex didn't recognize. They were sitting in the grass a short distance apart from each other. Between them attempting to stand on two wobbly legs was the most beautiful Lasat kit Alex had ever seen. And unlike any Alex had ever seen rather than dark purple stripes on lighter fur the kit had reddish blonde stripes. And upon closer inspection he realized the kit had the same golden brown eyes as him. Same shape too. The kit steadied themself and began to take one wobbly step after another until they had reached Alex and promptly flopped into his lap giggling. Alex began tickling the kit making them laugh harder before standing them up and pointing at Zeb. "Now walk back to Papa," he encouraged. And with that the kit took off in an almost drunken zigzag toward Zeb who caught them just before they tripped. Zeb scooped the kit up and placed them on his shoulders before looking back at Alex and waving, "Say bye-bye Dada, we're gonna go climbing," and swinging up into a nearby tree. The kit's high pitched giggles floated down to him as Alex stood and shouted up at them, "Zeb you be careful!" Zeb's laughter was the last thing he heard before the dream began to fade.


	4. Chapter 4

"Kal? Hey, wake up. Alex," Zeb spoke softly but urgently, shaking Alexsandr's shoulder gently. Blinking awake, Zeb’s worried expression swam into view.

"Morning," he mumbled, feel slightly like his tongue was made of lead. "What", he asked at Zeb's continued look of concern. "What's wrong love?"

"Were you dreaming just now?" Zeb asked. Alexsandr nodded, "About Lira San actually." Zeb's face fell. "Why do you ask?"

"You were crying in your sleep. Figured you were having a nightmare," Zeb offered.

Alexsandr shook his head, realizing now that indeed his cheeks were wet with tears. Crying for the second time in one day, how unbecoming, he thought sarcastically. Wiping his face he smiled, "Quite the opposite. It was a wonderful dream. I think I might have been crying because I miss Lira San." Not entirely untrue, the voice in his head supplied.

Zeb's face lit up and he pulled Alexsandr closer. "We'll go back soon then. At the very least I know Chava misses you. I've lost count of the times she's asked when we're getting hitched."

"Quicker the better if we're doing this right," Alexsandr muttered.

"I'm sorry, didn't catch that?" Zeb queried.

"Nothing, nothing," Kallus waved the question off. "Tell Chava I miss her too."

They stayed like that for a while longer, just enjoying being in each other's space. Finally Zeb broke the silence with, "I'd better get up. We'll be on our way soon."

"Right, the mission," Alexsandr said trying to ignore the slight petulance in his voice. Don't be a child, he chastised himself. "How long will you be?"

"Far as I'm aware, no more than a couple weeks at the very longest. Less than a week if we're lucky," Zeb answered.

"Luck then," Alexsandr tried to sound cheerful.

"Hey, it's going to be fine. You know that right? This isn't dangerous. Least ways, it’s not as dangerous as we'd normally be involved with."

"I know that, I do. Just wish I was going too," Alex admitted. "I know why I'm not," he continued quickly when Zeb looked about to interject. I know better than you do, he thought to himself. "But it doesn't change the fact that I wish I was. I'll miss you Captain Orrelios."

A growl started way in the back of Zeb's throat before it was cut off with an abortive cough, "That was cheap," he muttered, "trying to get me all hot and bothered as a sendoff?"

"Least I could do given the circumstances," Kallus offered slyly.

Rolling his eyes Zeb moved to get out of the bed, "And with that, I'm off." Alexsandr followed laughing as they went about getting ready for the day and Zeb made last minute preparations for the mission.

Soon enough Ezra and Alex were seeing Hera, Kanan, Zeb and Rex off. They waved from the Ghost's ramp as the shuttle the other four were in took off. Once it was out of sight Ezra turned to Alex just in time to see him start to waver and lose his balance.

"Whoa! Hey Kallus you ok?" He asked grabbing Alexsandr's arm before he could fall. "You're pale. Are you going to pass out?" He all but dragged Alex over to a shipping container and sat him down.

“‘M fine," Alexsandr mumbled. "Got light headed all of a sudden." He tried to focus on steadying his breathing. Noticing his hands were shaking he crossed his arms hurriedly.

"Zeb talked like you were doing better today," Ezra mentioned, "Guess that was short lived." Catching the grimace on Alexsandr's face he squinted, "Unless you were never feeling better in the first place. Did you lie to Zeb? Tell him you were better so he'd feel better about going on this mission?"

Alex hung his head, "I'd appreciate it if this stays between us, any chance of that happening?" The determined look on Ezra's face gave him his answer. Alexsandr sighed, "I didn't see the point in making him worry any more than he already was. And anyway, I'm no worse than I have been, maybe slightly better actually," he tried to sound cheerful but a cramp low in his abdomen caught him off guard. Curling an arm around his middle he tried his best not to cry out. "Ok perhaps better, is an exaggeration," he admitted haltingly.

"You think?" Ezra asked and to his credit tried hard not to sound smug. Alexsandr was miserable and in pain. He didn't need to add to that. "You think you can stand? Let's get you back to bed. I'll bring you breakfast."

"You're too kind Jabba," Alexsandr slurred slightly, rising to his feet only to have his legs buckle underneath him as he passed out.

Realizing he couldn't lift Alex by himself he yelled across the hangar to AP-5, "Go to the base and bring back a medic! Tell them Captain Kallus collapsed, hurry!" Turning back to Alex he tried in vain to wake him up. He was completely out of his element and he knew it, "Kriff why did I offer to look after him, I'm useless!" All he could do was try to stay calm and wait for AP-5 to come back with the medic.

Thankfully only a few minutes later Ezra saw the droid followed by a medic with a repulsorlift coming up the ramp. Alexsandr was placed on the stretcher and escorted to the med bay in no time, Ezra following beside him and answering as many of the medics questions as he could. The medic seemed more in the loop with the situation than Ezra expected. He asked only the most basic questions and didn't seem overly concerned that Kallus had suddenly lost consciousness.

Ezra tried to remind himself that composure was part of the job but the fact that he felt comparatively little composure wasn't helping. Neither was the fact that, once they arrived at the med bay the sense of urgency didn't so much as increase. Alexsandr was given what seemed to be a cursory examination, pupil dilation, pulse and other vitals along with a quick scan of his abdomen, which Ezra thought was strange but chalked it up to Alexsandr's prolonged illness.

After that, they were left alone in a room. Alexsandr remained unconscious leaving Ezra to his own devices and currently high anxiety level. Not for the first time he considered contacting Zeb, just to let him know what had happened. What had happened though? Ezra clearly didn't have all the necessary information to pass on to Zeb. Still he was sorely tempted, to the point that he sat staring at the comm Zeb had given him sitting in his hand.

"Don't even think about it," Alexsandr mumbled. Looking up quickly, Ezra caught Alexsandr glaring at him through half open lids. Relief washed over Ezra and before he knew it he was up and hugging Alex tightly. To his surprise the hug was even being returned, albeit weakly. This only lasted a minute as both parties seemed to remember themselves and broke the embrace.

Alexsandr set about trying to pull himself higher in the bed and Ezra jumped to put another pillow behind him. "Better?" He asked hopefully. Alexsandr nodded before stopping abruptly having suddenly realized where he was.

"You called the medics?" Alexsandr scowled.

"Um, yeah? You passed out! Without warning!"

"That's usually how it works."

"Don't be cute."

"You think I'm cute? I'm flattered." Alexsandr rolled his eyes.

"I was worried," Ezra's voice came out small and quiet, "I'm still worried. Alex, be honest are you ok?"

Alexsandr was about to answer when a medic rushed in and did it for him.

"Your friend is completely fine, a little dehydrated perhaps and in need of some rest. But he's doing exactly as we'd expect from someone in his condition." Turning to Alexsandr he continued, "Here are the notes from this visit and all test results scans etc." He handed Alexsandr a data stick adding, "I took the liberty of including stills from the scan we took as well as the scan itself." Alexsandr nodded his thanks but didn't say anything further. "You're free to go as soon as you feel like getting dressed and we'll see you back here for your next appointment. Try to take care of yourself until then?" And with that the medic left.

Alexsandr wasted no time swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and beginning to get dressed. Ezra for his part remained rooted to the floor, visibly turning over everything he'd just heard. The longer he thought the more questions he had but he knew Alexsandr wasn't going to talk about any of it with him, at least not here, so he kept quiet.

"Ready?" Alexsandr asked once he was dressed. Ezra just nodded and followed him out of the med bay and across the yard back to the Ghost. Once back on the ship Alex asked, "Did you eat while I was, uh, indisposed?" Ezra shook his head. "Right then, breakfast!" Alexsandr set about rummaging through the cabinets for several minutes before stopping to look at Ezra who was watching him sullenly from a seat at the table.

Sighing, he turned to face the boy, "You want to talk about this don't you?" Ezra nodded, "Ok what questions do you have?" Alexsandr prompted.

With what could only be described as a pained expression Ezra asked, "How long do you have?"

An odd choice of phrasing and not where he thought they'd be starting but Alexsandr answered, "Eight months, maybe more, probably less."

The pained look deepened as Ezra continued, "Zeb doesn't know does he?" Alexsandr could only shake his head before Ezra kept going, "Are you going to tell him?"

"Of course I am. I just haven't figured out how." Alexsandr answered, "This isn't the kind of conversation one has every day."

"I don't think you should." Ezra said suddenly.

"I'm not sure I can avoid it Ezra, much as the thought appeals to me now," Alex stated.

"But if you tell him now, it'll just be eight months of worry!"

"It'll be that for me regardless! And don't you think that's a little cruel to spring on a person?"

"Not as cruel as telling him in advance! Do you really want him to know and just be waiting for you to die?"

"Die? What are you talking about? I'm not dying!" Alexsandr shouted, "Not unless you know something I don't. Karabast what did they say to you while you were waiting for me to come back around?"

Ezra sat fidgeting with his hands, "They didn't say anything. I guess they assumed I knew what was going on. They just left me with you. And then the medic was talking about your condition and how stuff like today is just to be expected." Ezra was tearing up now, "What was I supposed to think?"

Alexsandr had come to sit beside him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder, "Ezra I am so sorry, truly," he began softly, "I never thought for a second how all of that must have looked to you."

Ezra sniffed, "So if you're not dying, what's wrong with you?" He asked. "And don't lie, I know something's wrong," he continued when Alexsandr started to shrug it off.

Sighing Alexsandr gestured across the table, "Hand me that datapad?" Ezra did as asked and Alexsandr took the data stick in his pocket and inserted it. Scrolling through the files, Alexsandr found the one he was looking for and opened it. He set the datapad down as a 3D image blinked on above the screen.

"There. That's what's 'wrong' with me," Alexsandr declared.

Ezra blinked at the image for a few moments, before replying, "I thought you said you weren't dying. But you clearly have a tumor."

"That's not a tumor it's a baby!" Alexsandr yelled. "I'm…," he swallowed, "having a baby," he finished quietly.

Ezra sat back in his seat, his mouth hanging open slightly. Finally he made eye contact with Alex and asked, "You're not joking? This is real?"

"I think weeks of vomiting, cramps and random fainting spells is a bit far for a joke don't you?" Alexsandr asked.

"Kriff! I'm so sorry," Ezra blurted.

"It's quite alright," Alexsandr replied. "Honestly," he continued, "I'm a little relieved you're taking it so well. I've been keeping this to myself for almost two months now. It's strange to finally talk about," he finished leaning forward with his arms crossed on the table.

"Why keep it to yourself?" Ezra asked. "I mean I get why you didn't tell absolutely all of us. That'd be super overwhelming," he went on, "But why not tell Zeb?"

Alexsandr's face softened slightly and his voice shook slightly as he answered, "Well, at first it was because I hadn't decided whether to keep," he stopped suddenly, coughing and clearing his throat before continuing, "but now, now I suppose I'm...scared."

"Scared of what, Zeb’s reaction?" Alexsandr nodded silently, sinking lower on his crossed arms. "Zeb is going to be ecstatic! There will be no living with him he's going to be so happy," Ezra nearly crowed.

"I sincerely hope you're right," Alexsandr sighed, "I really do. I just can't help thinking that spending his life with me, us raising a family, wasn’t remotely what he had planned."

"So what?"

"Hmmm?"

"I said so what if that wasn't the plan before, no in fact I'll bet you it wasn't the plan at all. But it is now," Ezra affirmed.

"How can you be so sure?" Alexsandr asked.

"Simple," Ezra shrugged, "there's only ever been you."

Alexsandr sat up slightly, "What do you mean there's only ever been me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, in the time I've been part of Ghost Crew I'd never seen Zeb in another relationship, and knowing he'd thump me for asking, I asked Hera. Alex, you’re his only relationship in at least 20 years. So yeah, it's you man," Ezra smiled at Alex, getting up and walking around him to the still open cabinets. "Now, I believe I said something about serving you breakfast about oh 2 hours ago. So, what can I get you?"

"Wait just like that? What about the conversation we were just having?" Alexsandr asked, "We're still having it. But now that I know you're the father of my best friend's baby, I can't exactly let you go hungry," Ezra shrugged.

Leaning back in his seat Alexsandr smirked, "What was I before this conversation started then?"

"That feels like a trick question, Ezra sidestepped, "So what'll it be?" Ezra prompted already coming back to the table with a stack of three waffles he was apparently going to eat plain. Just as Alex was about to protest those awful things being anywhere near him, his stomach growled loudly.

Dropping his gaze to his stomach, he muttered, "Oh you have got to be joking."

"They want waffles? Woo team waffles!” the growling of Alexsandr's stomach getting louder with each cry of "waffles". Ezra slid his plate over to Alex and got up to make himself more. "Try them plain first," he suggested,” less likely to make you sick I'd think."

Alex nodded and sighed resignedly as he loaded up his fork with a small bite. He chewed and swallowed quickly, immediately grimacing and muttering, "Karabast," under his breath.

"No good?" Ezra asked.

"On the contrary," Alexsandr admitted, "It appears someone," he glowered at his abdomen, "is changing my tastes."

Ezra offered another cheer, "Team Waffles!" This was followed quickly by Alexsandr's completely insincere, "Don't encourage this."

"I'll encourage you eating anything your able to eat without being sick," Ezra said seriously.

Alex smiled, "Thank you Ezra," he looked thoughtful before continuing, "Is this what they call bonding? Odd circumstances, but high time it finally happened."

Ezra grinned, “Well you're not the easiest guy to be friendly with."

Alexsandr laughed, "Zeb says he's been tempted to use a crowbar to get me to open up."

"I wouldn't expect less from Fulcrum," Ezra smiled cheekily.

Alexsandr stared at Ezra for a beat before laughing loudly. He stopped abruptly when a cramp started deep in his abdomen. He curled forward pressing a hand against his middle. Ezra was up and moving over to him instantly, crouching next to him.

"Alex, what can I do? How can I help?" He placed his hand over Alex's where it gripped his knee. To his surprise Alex gripped his hand in return. He squeezed back gently trying to give Alex a point to focus on. "Breathe through it as best you can, you hear me?"

Alexsandr nodded and inhaled sharply blowing out his mouth and repeating the cycle. After several breaths he slumped in his seat, still holding onto Ezra's hand. "Alex? Hey, you alright?" Ezra asked worriedly.

Alex nodded and tried to ignore the fact that he was shaking. Suddenly he realized he was holding Ezra's hand and let go sitting up straight, "I'm sorry I- I can usually handle the cramping better than that. But that was particularly awful."

Ezra sat back and looked up at Alex asking, "And that's just business as usual? I mean it's how all this is supposed to go?" He waved vaguely at Alexsandr's stomach.

"I suppose so?" Alex answered sounding unsure. Ezra quirked an eyebrow at him, "I don't have much to go on aside from what I've been told at the med bay, and they don't seem concerned with the way things are going." Alexsandr shrugged.

"You want my opinion?" Ezra mused. It was Alexsandr's turn to quirk an eyebrow. "Ok pretend you want my opinion for a second. You should be putting your skills to work for you."

"I'm afraid I don't follow," Alexsandr replied, going back to picking at the waffles on his plate and glaring at Ezra's grin. "What's your point Jabba?"

Ezra coughed, "Right. Research, you're far from the first person to have a baby, or the first man even." Here Alex cut in, "I'm intersex for what it's worth. You're already learning way more about me than I ever intended for you to know," he added in answer to the questioning look on Ezra's face. "Well," Ezra continued, "like I said do your own research, gather your own intelligence."

"That's a really good idea," Alexsandr admitted. "I'm ashamed to not have come up with it myself."

"Pregnancy brain. happens to the best."

"Smart ass."

"You really think I'm smart?"

"I do." Alexsandr answered sincerely, "I also think you're an ass."

Ezra stood up from the floor muttering, "You're lucky I like you," as he busied himself with something across the galley. When he walked back to the table he handed Alexsandr a mug of tea.

Alex took it and nodded his surprised thanks. "Like I said, you're lucky I like you," Ezra chuckled, "Now drink, they said at the med bay you're dehydrated."

"Don't see how that'd even be possible," Alexsandr mumbled.

"Not rehydrating after you get sick, which you're not," Ezra offered helpfully.

"Thank you, that was rhetorical," Alexsandr sighed.

"Always happy to help," Ezra chirped and Alexsandr honestly couldn't say whether he was being sarcastic or oblivious. Deciding not to worry about it he drained the last of the tea from his mug and plunked it down on the table.

"Satisfied?" He asked.

"For now," Ezra conceded.

Alexsandr shifted in his seat, crossing and uncrossing his legs. "Don't tell me you have to pee already," Ezra joked.

Alexsandr shook his head, "No I think I've been sitting too long."

Standing Ezra offered his hand. Alexsandr stared at him for a beat before saying, "That's a terrible idea."

"What? Why? Let me help you," Ezra argued.

"And if my leg buckles and takes us both down?" Alexsandr asked.

"What's that you keep saying to me? Have a little faith? C'mon Kal, have a little faith," Ezra offered his hand again. "The table is right here to lean on, the seat is right behind you."

Alexsandr sighed and shook his head taking hold of Ezra's hand and hauling himself to his feet with a groan. Once on his feet he wavered slightly, prompting Ezra to ask, "You good?" while sliding his other hand to Alexsandr's back.

"Dizzy," Alexsandr answered.

"Take your time, you can go as slow as you need to," Ezra assured him.

Alexsandr huffed a laugh, "You know I keep thinking this should feel strange because-"

Ezra cut him off, "Because you don't let people take care of you when you need it."

"Actually," Alexsandr continued, "I was going to say because I really don't know how to take help let alone ask for it."

"You're not asking though. It's being offered and you're accepting it," Ezra continued, “That's a little different."

"I suppose you're right," Alexsandr admitted.

"You can always work on asking for help too. But for now, baby steps," Ezra said.

"Pun intended?" Alexsandr snickered.

"Not at all actually," Ezra laughed, "So what's our next move?"

Alexsandr took a few steps forward before stopping and hanging his head. “‘Fresher," he sighed. Ezra laughed as Alexsandr muttered under his breath, "Karabast this is annoying already."

"You know it's only going to get worse right?" Ezra asked.

Alexsandr groaned, "Don't remind me Jabba," as he entered the Refresher.

Several minutes later he emerged to an empty hallway. Walking back to the galley, he saw that it too was empty. He turned just in time to see Ezra ducking his head out of the room Alex and Zeb shared, seeing Alexsandr he grinned and waved him over. Alexsandr complied hesitantly.

Peering past Ezra, he saw that piles of pillows had been placed on the floor and the bed and the desk now held an assortment of snacks and beverages. "Care to explain what you've done to my room?" Ezra asked.

"Ok feel free to say no," Ezra started," I can clear all of this out in no time but what do you say to an afternoon of movies and bad TV?" Ezra queried. "I brought more waffles," he added as if to further entice Alex.

"Don't you have work to do?" Alexsandr asked pointedly.

"Well I did," Ezra shrugged but when the higher ups found out I looking after you, I got a pass," he continued, "Mon Mothma said to tell you if you need anything to let her know."

Alexsandr moved past Ezra, entering the room and claiming a spot amongst the pillows on the bed. "They know?" Ezra asked simply. Alexsandr nodded. "So that's command, a few of the med bay staff and me. Forget why you haven't told Zeb yet," Ezra went on, taking a seat on the floor, "How has someone not let it slip to him?" He shrieked as a pillow smacked him in the back of the head.

Alexsandr flopped backward gesturing lazily and sighing, "Put a movie on Jabba."

"You got it boss," Ezra set up the datapad and holoprojector as Alex kicked off his boots and pulled off his jacket. As he tugged his shirt back into place he caught Ezra staring at his midsection, "Problem?" he huffed.

Ezra shook his head and smiled, "No, sorry. It's just now that I know I can tell." Alexandra's eyes bulged and a hand instantly went to his stomach. "No, wait that came out wrong," Ezra hurried to explain, "You said it's been two months, at least right? Well anyone looking at you would think you're finally gaining weight because you're eating well. But I think you might be starting to show."

Without a word, Alexsandr stood and walked over to the full length mirror hanging on the closet door. Turning sideways he studied his profile for a few minutes before bringing a hand to rest on his stomach. He hadn't noticed or had actively tried not to notice, but Ezra was right. It was barely noticeable and would easily be mistaken for well-deserved weight gain. But the way his abdomen rounded slightly now was unlike any weight gain he'd experienced.

Alexsandr found himself becoming light headed again and reached to steady himself on the bed post only to meet Ezra's hand halfway. He'd seen Alexsandr start to sway and immediately moved to steady him. "Thanks," Alexsandr said softly, finding that his voice had left him. Clearing his throat he tried again, "Sorry about that. It's still a lot to get used to."

Satisfied that he was steady Ezra let go of Alex's hand and returned to his seat saying, "Nothing to apologize for," he paused before continuing, "And I know it's none of my business but I think that's another reason you should tell Zeb. You're basically going through this alone and there's no reason you should be. "

Alexsandr mulled that over as he came back and laid down on the bed saying, "You're absolutely right," closing his eyes he sighed dramatically, "Words I never thought I'd say to you of all people." This time it was Ezra who attempted to hit him with a pillow. Laughing as he ducked he continued, "In all seriousness, thank you, both for volunteering to look after me and for becoming my instant confidant. I know this was probably way more than you bargained for and I want you to know I truly do appreciate it."

Ezra jumped up on his knees to give Alex a quick side hug saying, "We're family, this is what family does for each other," dropping back down to the floor he added, "Besides, I'm going to spoil the shab out of this baby and get them into so much trouble, the least I can do is make your life a little easier in the meantime."

Alexsandr groaned and covered his face with a pillow. Laughing Ezra cued up the movie and they spent the next few hours alternating between napping and snacking as b movies and daytime TV played in the background.


	5. Chapter 5

Several hours later, the beeping of a comm transmission woke Ezra who scrambled to grab his comm off the table before turning on a light. The sudden brightness woke Alex who groaned, "Wha's a matter?" before covering his face with a pillow.

Ezra shoved his elbow gesturing at him with the comm as he tried to fight a yawn. Suddenly Alexsandr was wide awake and reaching for the comm asking, "Is it Zeb?" Sitting up he took the comm from Ezra and hit the button to receive the incoming call.

Static crackled through the connection. The voice on the other end was indistinguishable, and their message garbled, with only random syllables coming through. Alex pressed another button and spoke, "Say again please? The connection is nearly nonexistent."

More crackling before suddenly it stopped and Zeb could clearly be heard yelling, "Alex? That you?"

Alexsandr laughed, "I'm here love, say hello to Ezra."

"Hey kid!" Zeb said still entirely too loud. "How's our man Kallus?"

"Aside from having your baby?" Ezra muttered under his breath. "Wha's at? Connection got fuzzy," Zeb replied. Alexsandr slugged him hard in the arm causing him to cry out, "Ow!" Rubbing his arm he answered Zeb, "I said he's a giant baby!"

Zeb laughed, "Yeah that sounds about right," continuing he said, "You two try not to kill each other yeah?"

"No promises," Alexsandr glowered glaring at Ezra.

"Lex play nice until I get back," Zeb tried to sound stern, "Shouldn't be more than a few days. And Ezra, keep him alive for me will ya?" Zeb requested.

"Sure thing Zeb," Ezra answered, "You all be safe and get home soon."

“‘At’s the plan. Alright I gotta go, Phantom 2 out." And with that the connection dropped even as Alex started, "Zeb, Zeb wait, Karabast!" Turning to Ezra he yelled, "Why would you do that?"

"What? He deserves to know you said as much yourself," Ezra defended.

"I did. And he does but," all the fight seemed to leave Alex as he slumped back onto the bed continuing quietly, "Ezra promise me you won't say anything." Ezra started to argue but Alexsandr stopped him asking, "Please? I'll talk to him when they come back I swear." He wrapped his arms around his middle and Ezra almost couldn't hear the rest, "I just need it to come from me. We both deserve that much I think."

Ezra sat down beside him and for a few minutes didn't say anything. Finally he turned to Alexsandr rested one hand on his shoulder and the other on his crossed arms. "Alex I am so sorry. Honestly. I never meant to upset you. You deserve to do this however you want. And I'll do whatever I can to help."

Looking up Alexsandr smiled at him and Ezra saw that there were tears in his eyes but didn't comment on it. Releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding Alexsandr replied, "Thank you, I appreciate that more than you know."

Ezra stood up and smiled, "Hey, like I said before, family."

Alexsandr nodded and placing a hand on his stomach said, "I think this baby is very lucky to get to be a part of this family, especially with an uncle like you."

Ezra blushed and ducked his head one hand going to the back of his neck in the nervous habit he had, "Hey Alex watch out, you're getting really close to showing actual emotions there," he tried to joke.

Alexsandr rolled his before smirking, "I was actually trying to have a moment Jabba, but if you can't take an honest compliment forget I said anything."

Before he realized what was happening Ezra had stepped back toward him and was launching himself at Alex in a hug. Alex returned the hug while trying to stay upright under the Jedi’s weight. "Ezra it's ok, I was joking," Alexsandr grunted, "It's quite alright."

Suddenly Alexsandr found himself falling backwards and tried to let go and right himself only to hit the mattress with a groan. "Kriff Alex, are you ok?" Ezra cried rolling to his feet.

Alexsandr tried to sit up only to stop short groaning again and pressing a hand against his abdomen. "Karabast kid you're killing me!" He ground out.

"I'm sorry!" Ezra yelled.

"I didn't mean you!" Alexsandr cried.

Ezra knelt down next to him and tried to take Alexsandr's hand in an attempt to help him focus as he had earlier but Alexsandr's other hand was clenched in the sheets. "What can I do?" He asked frantically.

Alexsandr had started to relax and shook his head saying weakly, "I'm fine Ezra, it's over." He sat up and wiped a hand down his face.

"Alex nothing about this is fine," Ezra said pointedly. "And if Zeb were here right now instead of me you'd already be in the med bay."

Alexsandr sighed in resignation, "As much as I am loathe to agree with you this much in one day, I have to admit you're not wrong."

"So am I calling the medics?" Ezra asked.

"Karabast no!" Alexsandr replied.

"But you said," Ezra started. "I said you were right," Alexsandr cut him off. "I'm scheduled to be seen again in a few days. If the cramps continue to be this severe I will go in early. Is that satisfactory?"

Ezra sighed, "Honestly? No. But I know it's your attempt at being proactive so I'll take it."

Alexsandr smiled, "Speaking of being proactive, would you mind terribly if I called it a day and got some rest?"

"Of course not! Let me just get all of this cleaned up," Ezra answered busying himself with tossing pillows into the top bunk, and scooping up the remaining foodstuffs. "I'm leaving the water and tea," he said with seriousness.

Alexsandr only nodded and tried to stifle a smile, "Yes sir."

"Back in a minute," Ezra called over his shoulder. While he was gone Alexsandr got himself ready for bed and arranged the bed the way he needed it. By this time Ezra returned and asked, "You need anything before you hit the sack?"

"No, I think I'm set," Alexsandr replied, "thanks."

Ezra looked around the room until he found what he was looking for. Grabbing Alexsandr's comm he moved it to the edge of the desk closest to the bed. "In case you need something in the night," Ezra explained ignoring Alexsandr's eye roll. He also moved the trash can from under the desk to the bedside.

"Right then, g'night," Ezra turned to leave.

Before he reached the door Alexsandr spoke, "Thank you Ezra."

Ezra smiled, "Sleep well Kal."

The next morning Alex awoke feeling better than he had in weeks. Not only was he less nauseous, his pain had decreased and he just generally felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from him. He got up slowly and took his time getting dressed, relishing feeling well for the first time in nearly two months.

When he was dressed and ready for the day he walked out into the hall and headed for the galley. He was greeted by Ezra who sat at the table that current held no less than four datapads as well as several binders and loose sheets of paper. Taking in the sight, Alexsandr greeted him, "Morning. Can I ask what you're doing?"

"Alex! Hey! How'd you sleep?" Ezra asked cheerfully. "Oh this? I got up early and went on a scavenger hunt I guess you could call it. I've gathered a ton of information."

"I can see that. Where exactly did all of this come from?" Alexsandr questioned

"Oh here and there, med bay, record room, a lot was on the holonet actually," Ezra answered. "So how're you doing?" He asked.

Alexsandr rested a hand on his abdomen, an action that was becoming second nature already, and responded, "I honestly feel great. Better than I have in weeks."

Ezra looked mildly suspicious, "That's good to hear. Think you can handle eating some breakfast?"

"I should probably try to eat a little something," Alexsandr said, "though I don't have much of an appetite to speak of. I'm not nauseous," he explained quickly, "I just don't feel particularly hungry," he shrugged taking a seat and reaching for one of the binders on the table.

"Maybe give yourself a little time," Ezra said before going back to the datapad he'd been looking at and commenting, "There's so much information out there on pregnancy in general. Slightly less in regards to male pregnancies but when it comes to intersex there's surprisingly little."

"Why's that surprise you," Alexsandr asked. "Intersex pregnancy is, from what I understand, generally classified under what the individual in question is gendered as being. Whether or not that's incredibly inaccurate is apparently not a concern."

Ezra looked up saying frustratedly, "How's that supposed to help the people who don't identify as either women or men? They matter too."

Alexsandr smiled at him almost fondly and admitted, "We agree on that. But take the empire for example. As far as they were concerned, I present as male, so I'm a male. Forget that from a physical perspective I possess," he coughed, "reproductive organs that are deemed at the same time both male and female and neither."

Ezra looked thoughtful for a second, "You know, I think you're completely right."

"How so? Alexsandr questioned.

"I'm learning way more about you than I was prepared for," he said.

Alexsandr suddenly looked embarrassed so Ezra hurried to add, "I'm glad I know. Well I'm glad you have someone to tell. You need someone. And while it needs to be Zeb at some point, I'm completely fine with it being me in the meantime," he smiled encouragingly, "Do you believe me?"

Alexsandr smiled slowly and nodded, "Of course. And thank you. I'm well aware you weren't prepared for any of this but I can't help but be incredibly grateful to you."

"Hey, don't worry about it," Ezra tried to sound casual, "We're-"

"Family?" Alexsandr finished for him.

"Exactly! You're the other pain in the ass big brother I never asked for!" Ezra quipped.

"Brother huh? Are you aware I'm old enough to be your father?" Alexsandr asked pointedly.

"Ok my much older brother. Happy?" Ezra queried smugly.

"Thrilled," Alexsandr sighed sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a while, each going back to their respective reading. Sometime later the silence was broken by Alexsandr's stomach growling. He looked up to ask Ezra if he'd mind grabbing him something only to have Ezra get up without looking at him and walk across the galley. He prepared a mug of tea and a small stack of waffles and placed them on the table next to Alex without comment. Alexsandr watched him go back to reading only to look up a minute later smirking, "Eat your breakfast."

Alexsandr nodded silently and set to eating. Once again the waffles were good and that severely annoyed Alex. The more he ate, he began to grumble under his breath. Ezra finally asked if something was wrong. Sighing Alexsandr answered, "The baby likes waffles and I'm trying really hard, but that's so annoying to me."

Ezra laughed, "Well did you consider it's because Zeb is their other parent?" This elicited an eye roll from Alexsandr which made Ezra snicker.

Placing a hand on his stomach Alexsandr said, "Your first word better be Dada you hear me?"

"You've already decided what you want to be called?" Ezra asked.

Picking his fork up Alexsandr smiled, "Kind of? It sounds kind of crazy but it wasn't up to me. "

"How do you mean?" Ezra asked.

Alexsandr spoke around a mouthful of waffle, "Well, I had a dream a couple days ago. Zeb myself and, the little stowaway here," he gestured at his abdomen swallowing, "we were sitting in a yard in front of this little house on Lira San. The kit was toddling back and forth between us. I called Zeb Papa and he called me Dada," Alexsandr's expression had become soft and meditative as he remembered the dream. He finished, "Then Zeb and the kit swung up into a tree and I assume I promptly died from a heart attack."

"That is the cutest thing I think I've ever heard you talk about," Ezra grinned.

"Watch yourself Jabba," Alexsandr mock threatened.

"I'm serious," Ezra rolled his eyes, "The way you talk about the baby at all is just...it's good to see you like this."

"What filled with abject terror and misgivings?" Alexsandr asked sarcastically.

"Happy," Ezra said plainly.

Alexsandr stopped mid bite. "I am," he replied softly. "I think for the first time something, outside of my relationship with Zeb, or being a part of the rebellion and Ghost Crew which albeit gives me a purpose, has made me genuinely happy." He sat back in his seat heavily.

"Alex, you alright?" Ezra asked concerned.

Alexsandr nodded, "Something slightly terrifying just occurred to me."

"What?" Ezra asked turning to him.

"How I feel about this baby has no bearing on anyone or anything else. Even Zeb," Ezra almost interrupted, "I know you say I won't have anything to worry about, but if for some reason Zeb doesn't react the way we think he will, it doesn't change anything." He looked up at Ezra determinedly, "I'm doing this regardless of how much support I have."

Ezra smiled widely, "Well you'll never be completely alone. You'll at least have the crew."

"How do you figure?” Alex questioned.

"Simple," Ezra smirked, "Hera's going to be a parent soon too. If Zeb reacts badly she's liable to take the Ghost into orbit and airlock him."

Alexsandr nearly spit tea across the table and barely managed not to choke as he cried laughing. After several minutes he was able to catch his breath and slumped back into his seat. "I sincerely hope the captain doesn't go to any trouble on my account," he said trying to pull off a straight face and failing.

He dissolved into another laughing fit, this one ending prematurely in a hiss as he pressed a hand to his abdomen, "Alright, too much laughing, noted," he groaned.

Ezra slid over to sit next to him again offering a hand which Alexsandr took with little hesitation. "Breathe as evenly as you can manage," Ezra said quietly, "Just relax, you're fine," he joined his other hand with Alexsandr's on his stomach and repeated, "You're fine, give your Dada a break. You're too little to be causing trouble."

He looked up to find Alexsandr staring at him with a look Ezra couldn't identify, "What? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?!" Ezra sat back quickly breaking contact and as soon as he did the pain came rushing back causing Alexsandr to cry out curling an arm around his middle and reaching for Ezra who immediately took his hand.

"Ezra," Alexsandr panted, "I don't know what's going on but I," he paused groaning, "we need you to do whatever you just did. Please.

"Sit back," Ezra directed and Alexsandr managed as best as he could. Once he was situated Ezra placed his hand in the same spot he'd held it in before and mustering as much calm as he could he spoke, "Hey little one, if this is you doing this can you cut it out? Huh? What do you say? Give your old man a break. It's ok to be excited, but you're causing a lot of trouble for such a little person."

Ezra could feel Alex relaxing but stayed focused on the energy within his energy. This part still felt agitated and afraid. So Ezra continued speaking to try and calm the agitation. "I promise there's nothing to be worked up about. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. You are safe. You are safe and so loved already. You are loved and your family is always going to be there for you, starting with your parents and Uncle Ezra. Even when I'm not this close, I'm here. So what do you say? Feeling better?" Ezra was met with a much less agitated, though still bright and vibrant energy. Deciding it was safe to do so, he withdrew, still radiating calm and love as he broke the connection.

As soon as Ezra was back in the moment he realized that both he and Alexsandr had slumped over. He sat up suddenly fighting against the vertigo that hit him suddenly. He reached out a hand and grasped Alexsandr's shoulder gently. Alex blinked slowly and sat back in his seat trying hard steady his breathing.

Alexsandr surprised Ezra after a few minutes saying, "I'm so sorry Ezra. I shouldn't have asked that of you. It won't happen again." With that he stood and walked out of the galley leaving Ezra to momentarily contemplate what he'd said. After a short time, "Ezra spoke to the now empty galley, "Sorry for what?" Getting up from the table and following in the direction Alexsandr had gone he called, "Hey wait! What do you mean?"

When he got to the open door he walked in to the bunk room and continued, "What do you mean you're sorry? Sorry for what?"

Alexsandr sat on the lower bunk with his back against the wall, one knee bent in front of him as he rubbed a hand across his stomach slowly. He didn't look at Ezra as he started speaking, "I should never have asked you to use your abilities in that way. Whether or not you knew you could in the first place. It was a major violation on my part and I just hope you can forgive me." Here he did look at Ezra and he could see that Alexsandr was on the verge of tears.

Ezra immediately rushed forward to sit next to him on the bed. "Hey hey no ok? None of that. You did nothing wrong," Ezra assured him, "Firstly like you said, I didn't realize I was even doing anything at first. And I'm still not sure what I actually did." He continued, "And anyway, it wasn't like I could leave you in pain. Hopefully you know me better than that." He was relieved when Alexsandr nodded.

"I just felt guilty because Jedi aren't supposed to use their skills for everyday uses. And I'm pretty sure Jedi mind trick to calm a fetus falls into that category," Alexsandr explained.

"Technically you're probably right," Ezra admitted, "about using my skills I mean. But that wasn't the Jedi mind trick as you called it."

"How do you know?" Alexsandr asked. "You don't even know what you did."

"The mind trick," here Ezra emphasized using air quotations, "can only be used on weak minded individuals. That baby is not weak minded," he pointed at Alexsandr's stomach, "They're so...vibrant? That's not even the right word. They're so bright and strong and pure." He put a hand next to Alexsandr's on his stomach, "This kid of yours is really something. And their Uncle Ezra can't wait to meet them."

Alexsandr smiled even as tears fell from his eyes, "Thank you Ezra. For everything."

Ezra stood from the bed and grabbed a tissue from the desk handing it to Alex, "I'm just glad you're letting me help," he acknowledged. "Knowing what was going on and not being allowed to fuss over you might have driven me insane."

Alexsandr laughed thickly, "Even I knew better than to try to push you away after all of this." He continued, "And I really am grateful. It's so much easier being able to be completely open. It's going to be hard to go back in a few days."

"Well all the more reason to tell Zeb soon," Ezra shrugged. "Then you'll have more help than you'll know what to do with."

"I'm sure it's just my imagination but that sounds like a threat," Alexsandr laughed.

"Can't be a threat, it's a promise," Ezra smiled.

"Right, of course," Suddenly a yawn cut Alexsandr off.

"Why don't you take a nap?" Ezra suggested. "I'll go back to my reading and check on you later."

"That sounds like a great idea if I'm being honest," Alexsandr admitted.

"Great! I'll be right back," Ezra said. "I'm going to get you some water."

Chuckling Alexsandr set about getting situated in a comfortable position. When Ezra came back a few minutes later he was nearly asleep. Ezra intended to leave the water without disturbing him but as he was about to leave Alex mumbled, "Karabast," causing Ezra to turn.

"Refresher?" He asked.

"No," Alex sighed. "I'm lying on the blanket," he started to sit up but Ezra stopped him with a hand and reached up grabbing the blanket from the top bunk and pulling it over Alexsandr. Alexsandr smiled sleepily, “‘m getting spoiled."

"Nah you deserve it." Ezra responded, "Holler if you need anything," he said before closing the door.

Just as he settled in at the table, Ezra's datapad chimed with an incoming video chat. Ezra paused when he noticed it was from Zeb. Taking a second to collect himself he answered, "Hey how's it going Zeb." He tried to keep his voice level and not loud enough to wake Alexsandr.

"Hi ya kid," Zeb started. Immediately Ezra could tell something was up.

"How's the mission going," he asked.

"Oh fine, standard trade off kind of stuff you know. Boring honestly," Zeb drawled.

"You're always bored when you can't bash bucket heads," Ezra teased.

"What can I say I'm a simple guy with simple needs," Zeb smiled. He suddenly changed the subject, "We was able to intercept some chatter from the empire. Was gonna bring it to command but if Alex is up to it we could just send it back to the Ghost."

Ezra turned toward the doorway thinking. Finally he answered, "Go ahead and go through regular channels. That way it's all on the up and up."

"That all?" Zeb questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Heh, yeah what else?" Ezra hoped he sounded nonchalant.

"Don't have anything to do with our man Kallus being sick for the last few months and hiding it from all a us?" Did Zeb sound on edge? Did he know something or was he just trying to feel him out? Ezra's mind raced.

"Zeb," Ezra started slowly but Zeb cut him off.

"Karabast I knew it! So he's told you then?" Ezra could only nod before Zeb continued, "I didn't want to think it. But then Mon Mothma sent me a personal message saying if I wanted to take any time with Alexsandr in the next few months she'd arrange it." Zeb suddenly stopped and looked like he was afraid to speak. When he did his voice was low, "Does he know how long?"

Ezra attempted to seize this opportunity to straighten out what was obviously a very confused situation, "He figures 8 months more or less, most likely less. But Zeb he's only," again Zeb cut him off this time by punching something off screen that sounded like it broke apart under the impact. When he looked back at the screen his eyes shone with tears.

Ezra's heart clenched and only tightened as Zeb started speaking again, "Ezra, brother, I need you to do something for me. I know you already are, but take care of him for me. Do whatever you can, do whatever he'll let you, just until I get there, and then I'll take over. It's my place anyway, Karabast" he broke of and tried to hold back a sob

"Zeb," Ezra tried again but he couldn't get any more words past the lump in his throat.

Zeb attempted a lopsided smile saying, "I'll call again soon. We're getting back as fast as we can if not faster. You tell Kal I'm coming back to him. Zeb out."

The screen went black and Ezra slid down in his seat before sitting up straight and nearly bolting over the table and down the hall yelling, "Alex! Alex wake up! We have a major problem!" He continued calling out even as he opened the bunk room door and went to shake Alexsandr awake. When he was sure he had Alex's attention he sat down next to him saying, "Zeb called, we have a problem."


	6. Chapter 6

Alexsandr sat on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor, with a blanket around his shoulders and a mug of tea in his hands. He stared into the middle distance, not really seeing anything. In his mind he turned over the conversation Ezra had recounted to him between himself and Zeb.

After a long period of silence Alex spoke slowly, voice barely above a whisper, "Zeb thinks I'm dying."

It hadn't been a question but Ezra nodded from his spot on the floor, where his head was level with Alexsandr's knees. "I was trying to tell him, I swear," Ezra began, "He asked how long you had. I told him eight months probably less. And I meant to explain that you weren't dying, but he lost it and I...I couldn't."

Ezra saw Alexsandr stiffen beside him as a sob escaped him, "Zeb, my Zeb this is all my fault."

Ezra was quick to disagree, "No! Alex this is absolutely not on you. I should have tried harder to explain. But I kept thinking about how you wanted to be the one to tell him. And then he'd signed off and I just," he trailed off as his forehead came to rest against Alexsandr's knee with a soft thud, "I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the millionth time.

Alexsandr looked down startled at the sudden contact and sighed, "I had plenty of opportunities to tell him Ezra. It's my responsibility. Not yours. I'm the one who failed here."

Alex sat the mug on the desk and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. Another longer sigh left him as he slowly moved to stand up.

"There's nothing else for it now, only one thing I can do," pausing at the door he asked, "Do you need the 'fresher before I shower?"

Ezra stood up and stared confusedly at Alexsandr's back, "Um sure?" He replied before continuing, "I thought you meant you were going to call Zeb."

"Oh I am," Alexsandr assured him, "but first I need a little time to figure out exactly what I'm going to say. So first, a shower," he grabbed a couple fresh towels and nodded at the door, "You said you had to go right?"

"Oh yeah no sorry. I can wait, go ahead," he smiled nervously.

Alexsandr turned and then stopped again, "At the risk of asking way too much of you right now?"

"Yeah?" Ezra prompted.

"It would do me a world of good if you weren’t freaking out about this along with me. I appreciate the solidarity, truly, but you're making me nervous." Alexsandr admitted.

Ezra straightened up and tried to steady himself before answering, "You got it."

"Thanks Jabba," Alexsandr huffed a laugh exiting the bunk room.

A short time later Alexsandr walked back in the bunk room, a towel around his waist, drying his hair with another. Ezra sat watching him quietly from his new spot on the top bunk. Alexsandr appeared lost in thought and hadn't noticed him. Not wanting to startle him, he coughed quietly.

This however had the opposite effect he'd intended. Alexsandr jumped, twisting to maintain his balance. The sudden change in weight triggered nerve pain to fire down his leg. He cried out as his knee buckled sending him to his hands and knees on the floor. Panting he looked up at Ezra, "Hey," he sank the rest of the way to the floor.

Ezra scrambled down off the bed kneeling next to Alex apologizing profusely, "I thought you saw me! Kriff I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

Alex sat up slowly, making sure he was well covered in the process. "I'm fine," he assured the boy. "My leg didn't appreciate my sudden balancing act."

"That was pretty impressive," Ezra snickered.

"You're what's wrong with the youth of today, you know," Alexsandr glowered.

"I think that sentence took you straight past fatherhood into grandpa territory," Ezra smirked.

Leaning back against the desk he laid a hand against his abdomen and raised an eyebrow at Ezra. "Point taken," Ezra relented.

Chuckling Alexsandr asked, “Would you mind clearing out while I get dressed?"

Standing Ezra nodded, "Sure thing. You need help getting off the floor first?"

"Thank you, no. I think I can handle it," Alexsandr replied.

"Then I'll leave you to it," Ezra said heading for the door, "Come out to the galley whenever you're ready."

Alexsandr waited for the door to close before standing slowly and doing a thorough check for injuries. Finding nothing outside of the regular aches he'd come to know, he pulled out a sleep shirt and lounge pants and dressed quickly. He gave his hair a cursory brush before leaving his room and making for the galley.

He found Ezra at the same spot at the table as that morning, still surrounded by all of his study materials. Alex slid into the seat next to him and gestured at the piles of binders and datapads. "We should probably do something to consolidate all of this. Put all the files on your datapad and mine. Make all of this a little more manageable," suddenly something occurred to him, "Ezra, which datapad did I open the last scan on?"

"I'm not sure? I can find out pretty quickly though," Ezra answered.

Alexsandr nodded, "I just don't think it should be left where anyone can come across it."

"Fair point," Ezra agreed. He paused before speaking again, "Are you ready to try to call him?"

Alexsandr leaned back breathing out slowly, "I'm suddenly very tempted to say no, but"

"But?" Ezra prompted.

"I can't let him just stew like this. If it were me who thought he was," Alexsandr trailed off suddenly. Shaking his head he continued, "I can't do that to him. He at least needs to know he's not losing me." Wiping a hand down his face he asked, "Hand me a datapad will you?"

Ezra handed him the pad and got up to leave but Alexsandr stopped him saying, "I know I have no right to keep asking favors of you but I would greatly appreciate it if, "he stopped suddenly as Ezra slid into the seat next to him, nudging his shoulder and saying, "Make the call. I'm not going anywhere." Alexsandr let out a breath and made the call before he could change his mind.

The call barely had a chance to ring through before Zeb was picking it up, yelling off screen, "Gimme a minute Kanan! Karabast, I said it's a call from the Ghost! I don't know because ya keep yellin' at me!" Turning to the screen Zeb immediately started rambling, "What's up kid? How's he doing? Karabast is he worse? Kriff if Alex has gotten worse I-" suddenly he realized who was on the other end of the call, "Alex! Oh Sasha," tension seemed to bleed out of Zeb and that fact alone brought tears to Alexsandr's eyes.

"Hello Garazeb," Alexsandr replied not even trying to hide the fact that he was crying, "Ezra is here as well," he added, tilting the datapad so Ezra could wave.

"Hey Zeb, listen about earlier," he started but Zeb stopped him.

"No kid, I need to apologize to you. I probably scared you to bits," he took a breath, "But I more or less lost my head with that message from Mon Mothma then you said he only had eight months left."

Here Alex cut in having calmed himself down considerably, "Love that's why we called. The message didn't mean what you thought. And as for Ezra's comment," he glanced at Ezra pointedly,” he wasn't trying to say I only have eight months to live." Alexsandr paused, letting that sink in before continuing, "You see, I'm not dying, or even sick, conventionally speaking."

Zeb blinked for several beats before speaking, "Sasha, how much of an idiot do you think I am?" Ezra raised his hand and Zeb pointed at him, "Quiet you." He turned back to Alex, "Answer me. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"Of course not!" Alexsandr cried.

"Then why are you trying to lie to me?!" Zeb yelled back.

Ezra could see Alex was starting to tense up and realizing he was probably fighting a cramp he moved closer to him and yelled, "Enough Zeb! Alexsandr is telling you as much as he's comfortable with right now. The only reason I messed up earlier and confused you was because I'm trying to respect that."

Zeb sat stunned for a second but snapped out of it when Alexsandr slumped forward groaning, "Sasha!" Zeb cried, "What's wrong? Talk to me. Ezra!"

Ignoring Zeb for the moment, he spoke softly to Alexsandr, "Breathe as evenly as you can remember? You're fine. Just keep breathing and relax." He moved a hand to Alexsandr's stomach and hoped Zeb hadn't seen.

After another minute of silence except for Alexsandr's panting, he relaxed and nodded to Ezra before speaking to Zeb, "My love I'm sorry you feel I'm keeping too much from you." He paused to take a deep breath before continuing, "It was never my intention to hide things from you, and definitely not for so long. But this isn't a conversation to be had like this."

Zeb nodded his understanding but didn't speak so Alexsandr continued, "I will gladly tell you everything when you are home after this mission. Until then know that I am as well as I can possibly be given the circumstances."

"Circumstances you're not gonna explain now?" Zeb confirmed. Alexsandr nodded. "Swear to me then, both of you that you're not dying."

"Swear," they both said in unison.

Zeb looked several things, none of them convinced, but he didn't push the issue. "Mind if I let everyone over here know that?"

"Please do!" Alexsandr smiled.

Zeb nodded and let loose a gigantic sigh saying, "Ya know I love ya right?"

"And I you, my Zeb," Alexsandr replied fondly.

"What about me?" Ezra asked.

"Like the little brother I never had," Alexsandr answered at the same time as Zeb laughed, "The little brother I never asked for." Seeing Ezra's pout he laughed again saying, "Ok fine, Karabast I love you both. But I gotta get back t' work. We'll talk soon, Zeb out." And with that the screen went dark.

As soon as it did Alexsandr slumped in his seat, one arm around his middle as he tried to even out his breathing. Ezra immediately took in his shaking and paleness and began rushing around to bring him water and a cold compress. Handing him the water and laying the compress across his neck he sat next to Alex asking, "Can I do anything else?" Alexsandr shook his head. "Are you in pain?" Another shake of the head. "Nauseous?" Again Alex shook his head.

They sat in silence after that, Alexsandr drinking his water slowly. When he finished, he set his glass down and pulled the compress off his neck, wiping his face. Finally he leaned back in his seat and tilted his head back closing his eyes. One hand rested on his stomach but the other reached for Ezra's arm that lay next to him.

Speaking so softly Ezra could barely hear him he started, "I honestly couldn't have told you how I thought that was going to go, but that wasn't it."

Ezra nodded in agreement, "But at least you did it. Now he knows you're not on the verge of death. That's a win right? "

Alexsandr opened his eyes just to roll them and close them again. "What? I consider that a win." Ezra went on placing a hand over Alex's where it rested on his arm. "I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that yet, but I am. I can't imagine what this must be like for you. But you're handling everything about a million times better than I think I could."

Alexsandr huffed a laugh, "Well then considering I'm scared to death more often than not and wondering how I'm even doing this, I suppose I should still take the compliment. Thank you, Ezra. Truly you're making this so much easier than I thought it had to be. I'm very grateful."

"It's my absolute pleasure." Ezra grinned and Alexsandr couldn't help but smile too. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ezra asked, "Zeb does believe that you're ok right?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Of course I don't believe them," Zeb yelled. He was in the cockpit of the shuttle after ending the call with Alexsandr and Ezra. He and Kanan stood behind where Hera and Rex were busy trying to prepare the shuttle for eventual departure.

"Why not?" Kanan asked calmly.

"Kanan you weren't there. You didn't see him," Zeb huffed.

"No kidding," Rex threw over his shoulder.

Zeb slumped, "Ok alright. I know. If he says he's fine I should leave it at that. But," he trailed off.

"But what?" Hera gently prompted.

"I know him. I know 'im bout as well as I know myself" he looked up meeting Hera's gaze, "Somethin' ain't right." He started pacing across the short distance of the cockpit until Kanan nudged him into a seat. Zeb grumbled under his breath, "Should have opened that file from the med bay when I had a chance."

"What do you mean?" Kanan asked.

"That day you helped me get him back to our room," Zeb started, "I was watching him sleep and started messing around on a datapad. Didn't realize it weren't mine until I found a file with Kal's name in the filename. I didn't have time to look at it before he woke up," he finished with a shrug.

"So you don't know what was in it?" Hera asked.

"No, but it was a big file, seemed like there was a lot to it," Zeb answered.

"He'd had a complete physical that day right?" Kanan asked no one in particular, "So it was probably just the notes from that and any tests or scans. That would still be a lot of information."

"But they wouldn't bother including test results that were good, what would be the point in that?" Zeb continued grinding on his thought process. "Unless," he stopped suddenly, looking like he'd been hit in the face.

"Unless what?" Rex asked.

Zeb licked his lips before continuing, "Unless the test being positive was the important thing."

"Like with a...like with a pregnancy test!" Kanan breathed sitting down suddenly. "Zeb, that day remember what I said? That his energy felt off," Zeb nodded as Kanan continued, "I've recognized that before," Kanan turned toward Hera who placed a hand on her still small bump smiling.

Zeb looked back and forth between them for several minutes before speaking again, "But that's, I mean, no offense Kanan. But you have to be wrong."

"Why?" Rex questioned, "Seems to me that anyone who wants to have a baby can."

"Not Alex," Zeb said quietly and it didn't seem like he was going to say more but after a minute he continued, "We thought he was once, happened almost right after he joined Ghost Crew. But by the time we saw a medic," Zeb's voice started to shake, "He'd um. He'd started bleedin' and that was that. No baby." He cleared his throat roughly, "After that we were told any attempts to try again would probably have similar results."

"Oh Zeb," Hera walked over and slipped an arm around his shoulders, "Why haven't you ever said anything?"

Zeb crossed his arms almost as if hugging himself, "I wanted to. But Lex, he's so closed off, so private. And I think he was hurt too, didn't want to bring that to the rest of you."

Kanan cut in, "Well if he didn't you should have. There's no reason you two should have had to go through that alone," he leaned forward, placing a hand on either of Zeb's shoulders, "I am so sorry my friend."

Zeb broke then, a sob ripping from deep in his chest. The others just let him cry. And after a few minutes the sobs tapered off to hiccups. He sniffed, wiping his eyes on his forearm, "Sorry guys. ’M alright now. But that's why I don't think he can be having a baby."

"But then, what about Mon Mothma's message to you?" Hera asked. "Alex has obviously said something to her about whatever is going on and asked that you be available to spend time with him."

Kanan picked up where she left off, "Right and Ezra and Alex both said Alex having eight months didn't mean eight months to live. But if he is pregnant he's already two if not three months along based on what you've said," Kanan gestured at Zeb, who suddenly looked ill.

"Ezra's exact words were eight months, maybe more but probably less," Zeb paused, "Lasat pregnancies are only 6 months, and IF Lex is pregnant," he paused again as if fighting to get the words from his brain to his mouth, "the baby is half Lasat, meaning they could be born anywhere from three to six months from now."

Zeb sat forward, his face in his hands so his voice came out muffled, "Karabast Sasha I'm sorry. I don't even know if you wanted this."

Rex spoke for the first time since Zeb's meltdown had begun, "Hey pal seems like if your man did get in the family way, he's kept the baby. That to me says he wants it."

"Yeah but what if," Zeb started but Rex continued, "We've all seen what a mess he's been these past few weeks. Sick, in pain, I don't think he'd do that if he didn't want to, not even for you."

Zeb sat back in his seat, breathing out slowly, turning all of this over in his head, " S'pose you're right" he said finally and then softly to himself, "By the Ashla, I'm going to be a father." This was immediately followed by a giggle, "Chava's gonna have a field day, the child havin' a child."

Eye rolling and groaning occurred all around at Zeb's horrible joke, followed by hugs and claps on the back in congratulations. "So fatherhood," Kanan mused, "You ready for it?"

"Kanan I've been adjustin' to the idea fer all a thirty minutes. What kind of question is 'at?"

Hera took his hand in both of hers, "I think you're going to be a wonderful Papa,"

Zeb smiled at her and thought to himself, "Papa huh? Think I like the sound of that."

That night Zeb fell asleep and dreamed for the first time in a long while. He was with Alex on Lira San. They were sitting in the grass in front of a small house. Was that there's? He didn't know. But one thing he was absolutely certain of. The Lasat kit that stood toddling between them was their child.

The kit bore a strong resemblance to Zeb but where Zeb's fur was two shades of purple, the kit's stripes were a gorgeous reddish blonde and those golden brown eyes were identical to his Lex's. Speaking of Alex, he was instructing the kit to walk saying, "Go to Papa, that's it. Go to Papa!"

Zeb scooped the little one up before they tripped over their own feet. He held them for a second before swinging them onto his shoulder and jumping up into a nearby tree. The kit's high pitched giggles filled his ears even as he woke the next morning. He couldn't shake the dream as he went about his duties for the day. He just kept thinking over and over, "I'm coming back to you as quick as I can, back to both of you."


	8. Chapter 8

Alexsandr blinked awake and had the distinct feeling that he'd been asleep for roughly a hundred years. He sat up stiffly and worked to get his bearings before climbing out of bed. Once on his feet he yawned and stretched before moving over to the mirror. He frowned at his reflection, halfheartedly smoothing his hair down. Briefly he considered changing his clothes and then decided against it for the moment.

He padded out into the hallway and headed for the galley. Much like the day before he found Ezra at the table immersed in research. Alex opened his mouth to greet him but what came out instead was another yawn. Ezra tried to hide a smile saying, "Afternoon."

Alexsandr fixed him with an odd look, "Not truly?" Ezra only nodded as Alex lowered himself into a seat, "No wonder I feel like I've slept for a century. Though if I'm honest I could easily go back to sleep right now."

"So go," Ezra suggested.

"I couldn't do that," Alexsandr dismissed. "I haven't done anything around here in weeks."

Ezra closed the binder he'd been making notes in. "By my very basic estimate you've not only been creating a whole new person; you've been surviving morning sickness, dealing with painful cramps, fatigue and fainting spells. You've been taking care of yourself as well as you possibly can, given those circumstances, including hygiene and nutrition. Do I need to keep going or have I made my point yet?"

Alexsandr held his hands up in defeat, "You've made it and then some." He continued, "It's just old habits I suppose. I don't feel busy so I think I need to be doing more."

"Making a person," Ezra mumbled going back to the binder.

Alexsandr laughed, "I heard you the first time!" He turned toward Ezra continuing, "I did, seriously. Thank you." He pulled a knee up into the seat and leaned into the back rest sideways. Sighing he said, "I think I'm also just bored."

"I could always invite Wedge and Hobbie over. I know how much you enjoy their company," Ezra offered.

Alexsandr hung his head, "Clearly I left you alone too long this morning. Is that it? All your needling backlogged and is suddenly being given an outlet?"

"Ha! Maybe so," Ezra admitted, "I'm sure they'd love to come hang out though."

Alexsandr raised his head glaring, "Don't you dare."

Suddenly Alexsandr's stomach started growling loudly, "Ah, waffle time I suppose," Alexsandr sighed, "Alright tiny overlord. Coming up." Unfolding himself he stood and walked to the counter. "You want a few as well?" He asked over his shoulder.

"If you're offering," Ezra responded.

A few minutes later Alexsandr returned to the table with two plates of waffles. Setting them down he fixed himself a glass of juice. When Ezra raised an eyebrow at this he shrugged, "I'm getting tired of living on tea and waffles. But as waffles appear to be what's going to stay down, I'm going to attempt adventure and try drinking juice."

"Absolute madman," Ezra muttered sarcastically.

Alexsandr swallowed a mouthful of juice before saying, "Now look here you," but that's as far as he got. He leaned against the table on one hand, the other pressing against his abdomen. Dropping his head he murmured, "Please, just let me have the juice. I haven't been sick in days. What'd'ya say?"

Ezra watched this seemingly one sided exchange. Then he saw Alex straighten and take a deep breath before shaking his head once and walking out of the galley. Ezra followed only to see Alex enter the Refresher. As the door closed Ezra heard retching noises from the other side. After a minute or two they stopped.

Ezra knocked on the door calling, "Alex you ok?" He received what sounded like an affirmative. "Can I do anything?" He asked.

He stepped back as the door opened to reveal Alex, slightly pale but not much worse for wear. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please fix me a mug of tea?"

"On it!" Ezra answered and headed for the galley.

"And pour out that juice!" Alexsandr shouted.

"Got it!" Ezra called back.

Having gotten sweaty while throwing up, Alexsandr went to change his shirt quickly. While in his room he noticed a new message on his datapad. Opening it he saw it was from Zeb. It read:

Sasha

Just wanted to let you know we're due back in a day or two. I can't wait to see you and the kid. Stay well. I'll be home soon.

Your Zeb

Alexsandr didn't even realize he was crying until he looked up at Ezra's knock on the door. "Tea's ready," he said. Coming closer, he asked, "You ok?"

In answer Alex handed him the datapad. He took it and read the message quickly. "I know he meant you obviously," Alexsandr mumbled, "but still," he placed a hand on his stomach sighing, "Shall we?"

As they turned and headed back to the galley, Ezra spoke, "It is going to be ok. You know that right? In a few months you and Zeb are going to completely have your hands full with this kid and you'll be happier than you ever thought possible."

He suddenly found himself wrapped in a hug as Alex mumbled, "Thank you Ezra, I think you might actually be keeping me sane in all of this."

Ezra instantly returned the hug, saying simply, "Family, remember?" But he quickly added, "Hey, it won't just be your kid. We'll have Kanan and Hera's kid too!"

"Right you are," Alexsandr replied. "Though, if I'm honest I keep forgetting our dear captain is expecting at all. She's barely slowed down in these last few months and seems nearly unaffected by the more unpleasant aspects of, how did you put it? Ah yes, making a whole new person."

"You jealous?" Ezra smirked.

"Incredibly," Alexsandr whined. Ezra just laughed and walked back to the galley so Alexsandr had little choice but to follow.


	9. Chapter 9

Ezra and Alex were again camped out in the galley, continuing to work through the information Ezra had amassed.

"Hey Alex what's gestating mean?" Ezra asked handing over a datapad. On the screen was displayed an article that detailed the various gestational differences across several species.

"It's the growth of a fetus before it's born. They gestate. The entire process is gestation." Alexsandr responded already engrossed in the article. Sparing Ezra a glance he saw a confused look on the boy's face.

"Can't figure out why I know that or trying to decide whether to make fun of me for conjugating it?" Alexsandr asked.

"Even split," Ezra grinned.

Alexsandr rolled his eyes, "Well on the one hand I like language, any language, actually. Always have." He continued thoughtfully, "Though I have to admit, some words don't feel like they should be part of Basic at all. Gestate, being a good example. It sounds almost like it was dropped in from a completely different language system."

Ezra shook his head and simply asked, "And on the other hand?"

Alexsandr seemed to remember the thread of the conversation suddenly, "Ah well, suffice to say I am not unfamiliar with my own reproduction process and abilities…" he trailed off adding, "Or supposed lack thereof" under his breath.

"What do you mean lack of?" Ezra asked gesturing plainly at Alexsandr's stomach, "Clearly you have the ability."

"Clearly," Alexsandr sighed. "Can we end this line of questioning please?"

"Sure," Ezra said and proceeded to do the exact opposite asking, "What did you mean though?"

Alexsandr bit back a growl, "I meant that the first time I got pregnant I miscarried and was told I would probably never be able to have a child."

Ezra sat in stunned silence. After a few minutes he spoke, "Alex I'm so sorry. I- I didn't know."

Alexsandr bowed his head and replied, "No one knows except Zeb. It happened right after I joined you all." Alexsandr paused and smiled softly, "Garazeb was so happy." His smile faltered and he continued, "For all of a day. Then I started bleeding. By the time we got to the med bay there was nothing to be done."

"Kriff" Ezra muttered. Suddenly something occurred to him, "Wait, you said it happened right after you joined us more or less?" Alexsandr nodded. "So you and Zeb were going to have a baby, suffered a miscarriage," he stopped when he saw Alex flinch, "Why would you let yourself go through that alone?" He asked quietly.

"Truthfully? I think some part of me didn't think you would care what I was going through. Looking back I should have said something, if only for Zeb's sake. But at the time it seemed easier just to bottle it all up and move on. So I did," Alexsandr let out a shaky breath.

Ezra was suddenly sliding into the seat next to Alex and gripping him in a tight hug. Alexsandr noticed a warm feeling on his shoulder and realized that Ezra was crying. He immediately wrapped his arms around the boy and held as tight as he was being held.

Beginning to cry himself he said, "It seems ridiculous now. To think that there was ever a time when I thought I couldn't come to any one of you." He continued through his own tears, "I may still be awful at doing so, but I do know I can open up to you when I need to."

Ezra laughed wetly, "Yeah you're really bad at the whole showing emotion thing,"

"Thanks Jabba," Alexsandr replied sarcastically.

After another minute they broke the embrace but Alexsandr noticed Ezra didn't move back to his previous spot. Instead he pulled the datapad and binder he'd been looking at over to where he sat pressed against Alexsandr's side. Not that Alexsandr minded. He was getting more and more accustomed to closeness and physical contact living with the Ghost Crew.

So they settled in their new positions and went back to reading. Alexsandr decided to finish reading the article that had started the entire unpleasant conversation. A while later he suddenly sat up, dislodging Ezra from his side in the process. "What is it? What's wrong?" Ezra asked frantically.

Wordlessly Alexsandr passed him the datapad, pointing to a specific passage. Ezra read began to read aloud:

However some species have markedly shorter gestation periods. For instance it's believed Lasat have gestation cycles lasting roughly six months.

"Ok?" Ezra said once he was finished, "I don't understand, what's the problem with the pregnancy lasting six-oh!" Sudden realization dawned on him. "You're like three months," he stated. Alexsandr nodded silently, "So if this pregnancy is following the Lasat timeline," Ezra continued and Alexsandr finished for him, "Instead of being roughly a quarter, I'm nearly half way through my pregnancy."

"Wow" Ezra blurted.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Alexsandr replied.

Ezra reached for a datapad and scrolled for a few minutes before saying mostly to himself, "Yeah this has to be the human standard."

"I'm sorry?" Alexsandr questioned.

"If you were so much farther along you'd be...well farther along." Ezra paused trying to organize his thoughts before sighing, "Never mind."

"I think I might get your meaning," Alexsandr replied. "You're saying if this baby was further developed we'd know. I'd be showing more at the very least correct?"

"Yeah," Ezra agreed, "At the very least you'd be feeling them move I think."

Alexsandr rubbed his stomach and hummed contemplatively.

"What?" Ezra prompted.

"Movement," Alexsandr replied. "You said I would be feeling them move by now. But I think I've been able to feel them for a while, at least this last month or so."

Ezra turned to him quickly, "Are you serious? Why didn't you say that before now? Do you mean you feel them internally only or have you been able to see movement," Ezra gestured at Alexsandr's stomach.

"Only internally so far, that's why I never saw a point in bringing it up," Alexsandr admitted.

"But that's still so great! You've had that connection already," Ezra was growing more excited, "It's like you're getting to know them already."

"It is," Alexsandr smiled, "They react to voices already as well, as far as I can tell."

"That's amazing!" Ezra grinned, "Do they react to mine?"

Alexsandr hesitated before nodding, "They have. Once," Ezra's face lit up, "I don't think I can tell you exactly what you said that they reacted to though," Alexsandr continued.

"Aw c'mon!" Ezra whined, “Why not?"

"Because it causes me enough grief as it is!" Alexsandr laughed. "I don't need you continuing to encourage them."

Ezra thought for a moment before raising his arms triumphantly and shouting, "Waffles!"

"No!" Alexsandr cried, but the way his hand went to his stomach told Ezra he was right.

Looking over at Alex smugly he whispered, "Team waffles!"

"Ezra has anyone ever told you're a punk?" Alexsandr asked exasperatedly.

Ezra laughed, "Zeb, all the time."

"Well he's right!" Alexsandr said seriously before grinning.

"You love me," Ezra said self-assuredly.

"Be that as it may," Alexsandr mumbled returning to his reading.

"Ha! I knew it!" Ezra grinned in response.

"You're very clever," Alexsandr deadpanned, "Now do me a favor?" Ezra cocked his head questioningly. "Shut up," Alexsandr replied.

Ezra laughed but his only response was to nudge Alexsandr with an elbow before he went back to making notes. Several minutes went by before Ezra looked up and noticed that Alexsandr hadn't moved. He was sitting in the same position one hand pressed against his abdomen, only now his eyes were closed as if he were concentrating intently.

"Hey Alex?" Ezra asked gently, receiving a hum in response. "You ok?" Another hum, “You lying?" Ezra continued to probe. This time he got a short nod in response.

"Karabast, come here," Ezra grumbled.

"Sorry," Alexsandr mumbled.

"I thought we were past this," Ezra said aggravatedly. "You don't have to apologize. You don't have to feel bad for needing help," Ezra put a hand on Alexsandr's shoulder causing him to open his eyes, "You do need to say something when you need help though."

"Thought Jedi were mind readers," Alexsandr smirked before groaning, "Ezra? I need help."

"I'm on it. I gotcha," Ezra assured him, placing a hand against Alexsandr's stomach he started in on what was becoming the familiar mantra, "Just relax, even breaths. You're fine, nothing to worry about." Somewhere in the middle of his rambling Alexsandr took Ezra's other hand in his. Ezra couldn't help but smile at that and he would have said something but it didn't seem like Alexsandr was aware he'd done even done it.

A few minutes later Ezra felt Alexsandr relax. Looking up he realized that in fact Alex was almost asleep in his seat. Ezra nudged Alex's knee causing him to stir, "Hey," he began softly, "You feel better?" Alexsandr nodded sleepily. "You want to go lay down for a while? I can bring you some food later." Nodding Alexsandr started to stand with his eyes still mostly shut. Ezra scrambled to get in front of him saying, "That's a horrible idea. Alex, hey Alex, before you get up I need you to wake up. Can you do that?"

Alexsandr blinked a few times and cleared his throat, "Sorry, 'm alright now. I got it," and he stood up wobbling as he did so.

"Right," Ezra muttered, "Well let me walk with you for my own peace of mind ok?" He slid an arm around Alexsandr's waist and they started off down the hall. A few minutes later, with much less incident than Ezra had expected, Alexsandr was safely in bed and had started snoring before Ezra had left the room. As much as he was happy to be able to help Alexsandr out, moments like this made him glad that Zeb would be on his way back soon. Walking back to the galley he made a wish out loud in the silence, "Please let Zeb be ok with this, if only for Alex's sake. He needs that." 


	10. Chapter 10

"Alex would you please sit down?" Ezra begged as he watched Alexsandr pace back and forth across the galley, "You're starting to drive me a little crazy." Alexsandr only glared and continued pacing. One hand was pressed against his back, the other resting on his small bump that was currently being pushed out slightly. Every so often he would stop, lift up on the balls of his feet and hold that position for a few seconds before continuing to pace. 

"I'm trying to get my leg and back to stop hurting," Alex explained, "Sitting right now will just make it exponentially worse." He smirked, "My apologies for annoying you however."

Ezra waved him off asking, "Does this mean we won't be going down to greet the guys when they get in later?" 

Alexsandr thought for a second, "Erring on the side of caution for once, I think I'll stay up here. You're more than welcome to go though," Alex added, "I know you have to be feeling pretty cooped up at this point."

Ezra laughed and was about to agree when he looked up to see Alex had turned his back to him and was now leaning against the counter with his feet apart. He slowly leaned forward farther moving his feet apart a fraction more. Suddenly there was an audible click followed by a pop as Alex's knee buckled beneath him. 

Ezra didn't have time to react before there was a crash from the entryway followed by Zeb calling Alex's name as he ran in and got on the floor next to him. "Zeb!' Ezra and Alex cried together.

"Hey kid," Zeb acknowledged Ezra with a nod before turning back to Alex, "You OK Sasha?"

Alexsandr only had time to smile before Hera's voice reached them yelling, "Garazeb! What are you doing just throwing-" she stopped suddenly suddenly seeing the two of them on the floor, "Alex are you alright? Ezra what happened?" She turned to snap at the boy who shrugged.

Realizing he was the source of all of the commotion, Alexsandr sat up, hurriedly explaining that he'd been trying to stretch out his leg and back when his knee gave out. Zeb's arm slid around his shoulder protectively as he began to fuss over Alexsandr.

"I assure you I'm quite alright love," he told Zeb, "May I make use of your shoulder to stand?" Zeb gestured at his shoulder in permission. Getting his knees under him, he levered himself to his feet with a grunt, as Ezra cried, "Careful!"

Alexsandr was about to hush Ezra but a sudden intake of breath caught his attention. Looking down he saw Zeb, eyes wider than he'd ever seen them, staring at Alexsandr's stomach. Time stood still. Alexsandr had no idea how long it was before Zeb spoke and much like the conversation with Ezra, he did not at all say what Alexsandr expected him to.

"Heh, we was right," Zeb laughed softly getting up on his knees he reached out to touch the swell under Alex's shirt but stopped suddenly, looking up at Alexsandr as if asking permission. Smiling Alexsandr pulled Zeb's hand to his stomach, closing his eyes and smiling. 

A moment later, Zeb moved to wrap both arms around Alexsandr's legs and bury his face in his middle. Alexsandr tried to wrap his arms around Zeb's shoulders but their position made it difficult, so he settled for running a hand through the fur of Zeb's head and neck. "Does this mean you're happy?" Alexsandr asked thickly as tears ran down his cheeks. 

Pulling back Zeb revealed that he too was crying. Smiling widely despite the tears he said, "How could I not be happy? You're having our child. You're making me a Papa." 

"Score one for prophetic dreams," Ezra mumbled and Alexandr stifled a laugh. 

Zeb stood and pulled Alexsandr close enveloping him in a hug. Zeb tucked Alexsandr's head under his chin and nuzzled his hair with his cheek, "Bein' with you made me happier than I ever thought I'd be. I hadn't been so happy since before Lasan," Alexsandr snaked his arms around Zeb and held tight as Zeb continued, "And I thought that was the happiest I could possibly be. I thought you completed me." He stopped and tilted Alexsandr's face up toward him, "Until now. Now I know our family wasn't complete and you're giving us that." Bending down he kissed Alex deeply. 

A shrill whistle sounded from the direction Zeb had barreled into the galley from earlier. This was immediately followed by Kanan, "Hey come on Zeb I know fatherhood is exciting but that kind of behavior is how you got to this point."

Zeb broke the kiss with the intention of telling Kanan off but Alex cut in first asking, "Excuse me, am I to understand that all of you...already knew?" Immediately he turned to Ezra and glared, "Jabba I thought we had an understanding?"

Hera stepped up and said calmly, "Ezra had nothing to do with it. We were talking about the whole mess with Zeb believing you were dying," she looked pointedly at Ezra who muttered, "So much for not being in trouble."

"Anyway, Zeb brought up finding the file from the medbay and wishing he'd read it. One thing led to another and we kind of just figured it out," Hera finished. 

"We connected the dots," Rex offered proudly.

"You connected nothing," Kanan returned.

"I did! I connected...some," Rex trailed off. 

Ignoring him, Kanan commented, "Zeb knew you didn't want to have whatever the conversation was going to be until you were face to face. So we finished the mission and hurried back as quickly as we could." He put a hand on Alexsandr's shoulder saying, "We're all so happy for you both," before going to stand by Hera. 

Alexsandr smiled up at Zeb, "Garazeb I," but he stopped suddenly with a grunt as pain rippled through his abdomen. As it grew stronger he found his legs suddenly wouldn't support him. Clinging tightly to Zeb he sank to the floor.

"What's going on," Zeb asked frantically, "Alex what's happening?" But Alexsandr's consciousness was fading so he couldn't answer. More words drifted to him through the murkiness, "Is that blood?"

He faded into darkness only to feel his consciousness immediately being pulled. What was that sound? Where was it coming from? Wait, that was a voice. Was someone talking to him? Maybe it was Zeb!

"It's Ezra, Alex I'm here, not Zeb," Ezra's face swam into view, eyes wide in fear. Slowly consciousness settled over Alexsandr. He realized that he was in bed in his and Zeb's room. Ezra was there, hovering close, but everything else had been a dream. No, not everything, Alexsandr realized as another pain moved through him.

Alexsandr coughed as the air seemed to leave his lungs. He curled toward the edge of the bed reaching for Ezra who took his hand kneeling on the floor. "What can I do? Is it cramps again?" Ezra asked. 

Managing to shake his head, he brought his other hand down to rest on his stomach and tried to get his breathing under control. Ezra's hand joined his and as he spoke softly, "Breathe, just try to relax. You're fine, I'm right here." Finally the pain loosened up enough for Alexsandr to relax. 

Alexsandr attempted a deep breath but found he was having difficulty filling his lungs completely. That alone was enough to frighten him but on top of the pain he was experiencing, Alex found himself on the verge of a panic attack. He gripped Ezra's hand tighter and tried to make his voice as loud as possible but only managed a weak, "Ezra." Ezra moved closer, pushing some of Alex's hair out of his face. Alexsandr fixed him with a stare, "Something's wrong. I don't know what but I need he-," he cut off with another groan as the pain started to build again. "Call the medics," he managed to grind out. 

Ezra grabbed the comm off the desk and switched into the correct channel. Still holding on to Alex he cleared his throat and spoke into the comm, "Ghost to medbay, Ghost to base medbay do you read me?" Silence stretched on the other end. Ezra tried again, "Base medbay this is Ezra Bridger, we're in need of medical attention." Still, nothing but silence until Alexsandr cried out as another pain tore through his abdomen. "Ezra Bridger to base medbay," Ezra began again, trying not to let panic bleed into his voice, "Captain Kallus is in need of immediate medical attention. He-" he cut off as Alex made a strangled sound in his throat. Turning back to the bed Ezra saw that the blanket had been pushed away. He also became aware of a dark stain spreading between Alexsandr's legs. Ezra wasn't even aware he was yelling as he attempted another call on the comm, "Captain Kallus is in need of medical attention now! He's bleeding, do you hear me? Hello?" 

Ezra moved closer to the bed and gripped Alexsandr's hand even tighter. They sat like that for several moments, neither speaking. Suddenly the comm crackled to life and a voice on the other end could be heard, "The captain has an appointment in the morning. If possible he should wait until then to be seen." Ezra's head snapped up from where it had fallen against his bent knees, "Excuse me? What part of he's bleeding are you misunderstanding?" Ezra bit off.

"Spotting is common and is nothing to be concerned about," the voice, surely a medic and not one of the medbay doctors, answered.

"I'm not talking about spotting! Kriff's sake!" Ezra yelled.

Alexsandr had somehow managed to lever himself up on one elbow and motioned for Ezra to hand him the comm. Once he had it in hand he began speaking, his voice possessing an edge Ezra was unfamiliar with. "Medbay this is Captain Kallus, be advised, this is not an incidence of spotting. If memory serves, and it does, I am experiencing a miscarriage." Alexsandr flinched as another pain started, "This would be my second in your care, though the first that was expedited by your lack of attention. Should this happen, the wrath of Captains Orrelios and Syndulla will be yours to contend with." he paused to stifle a groan, "Should there be anything left after that, I will see to you personally. Now, about that medic..."

A short time later when footsteps could be heard in the hall announcing the arrival of the medic, Alexsandr was barely holding on to consciousness. The bleeding hadn't gotten worse but neither had it slowed as far as Ezra could tell. The pain seemed a steady constant, either that or Alexsandr was unable to react any longer. When Ezra ushered the medic inside with the repulsorlift he noticed that he was the same medic who came to get Alex when he had fainted a few days before. The medic nodded at Ezra and together they grabbed the sheet off the bed and lifted Alexsandr up onto the repulsorlift. 

Before they had left the galley, Ezra grabbed a few papers off the table. Folding them he quickly followed after the medic. Coming up level with the repulsorlift Ezra took one of Alexsandr's hands in his. Again as they walked Ezra answered questions but this time he had a few of his own and so he started, "Why did it take so long for anyone to come help him?" The medic shrugged and didn't offer an answer at first but looking across the repulsorlift at Ezra's determined expression he sighed, "At first it was because the situation was deemed nonemergency." Ezra just stared waiting for him to continue, "Then the doctor on call decided that based on the Captain's history the conclusion was foregone and had always been."

This stopped Ezra in his tracks. Dropping Alexsandr's hand he glared at the medic. "So because his first baby died, there's no point in trying to save this one? That's horrible!" Alexsandr flinched at the sudden noise as Ezra's voice cut through the dusk. 

"I agree," the medic answered, "That's why I came to get him." He glanced down at Alex before he started walking again, "When we get to the medbay be prepared to get shuffled into a room just like last time. I'll do my best to bring a doctor in to treat the captain as soon as possible." He took in Ezra's stricken expression and explained quickly, "There's a shift change in a few minutes, different on call doctor, different medics. Well mostly, I'm pulling another shift to stay with you and your friend." 

With that they entered the medbay amidst a flurry of shift change activity. Alex was quickly assessed and placed in a room. The medic left promising to return soon. And to his credit he did, the new on call doctor in tow. A more indepth exam was performed and scans taken. After several attempts at locating a fetal heartbeat it was confirmed that a miscarriage had occurred. This was the first time Ezra thought the fact that Alexsandr had remained unconscious was a good thing. 

Ezra and the medic got Alexsandr changed out of his bloody clothes, cleaned him up as best they could and put a gown on him before tucking him into a bed with a clean sheet under him along with an absorbent pad in the event of anymore bleeding. The medic left water by Alexsandr's bedside and made sure the call button was in reach before leaving. He promised to return to check on Alexsandr soon. When he left Ezra had nothing else to do but watch Alexsandr's chest rise and fall with each breath. Even in his sleep Alexsandr curled a hand against his middle and Ezra found himself wondering if Alex was in pain. 

He was pulled from that train of thought by the comm in his pocket alerting him to an incoming call. Without thinking he pulled out the comm and engaged the call. Zeb's voice crackled through the connection, "Hey kid! We're home, where ya at?"

Shab, Ezra thought. "Hey Zeb," Ezra began slowly willing his voice not to shake, "Alex is in the medbay. I'm here with him."

"Karabast," Zeb swore, "We're on our way."

Zeb barreled through the medbay doors followed closely by Kanan, Hera and Rex. Glancing around he flagged down a medic, "I was told Captain Kallus was here. Can I see him?"

The medic seemed to be trying to collect himself before answering, "Of course, Captain Orrelios is it?"

"Zeb's fine," he mumbled gruffly. "So where is Ale- I mean," he stopped short seemingly changing his mind, "Is he OK?"

Instead of answering, the medic ushered the group into a small waiting room. Turning to them he began softly, "I'm afraid Captain Kallus has suffered a miscarriage." At those words Zeb's world started to slid sideways and he found his legs would no longer hold him. Thankfully Kanan and Rex, who had moved between Zeb and Hera, caught him by the elbows and attempted to lower him into a seat. Once seated, Zeb looked up to Hera and murmured, "Helluva way to find out we was right." 

The medic sucked in a breath, "You're the father? The other father rather," he bent his head slightly, "Captain Orre- Zeb, you have my deepest sympathy."

Zeb nodded his thanks and cleared his throat roughly, "Would I- would we be able to see him? Please, I need to see Lex."

The medic nodded quickly, "Of course, although when he wakes up it may be best if only one person is with him at a time."

"What'd'ya mean when he wakes up?" Rex cut in.

The medic paused before exiting the waiting room, "Captain Kallus lost consciousness before I could bring him back here," he admitted. "That's been several hours ago now. He's been unconscious ever since." He turned to look directly at Zeb, "For whatever it's worth, I was also the one who discovered he was pregnant when he visited the medbay last month. Again, I am truly sorry for all of this," the medic then led the four across the medbay, down a short hallway and stopped in front of one of five doors. "The boy, Ezra? He's been here the entire time. Thought you'd want to know that," with another quick nod the medic left them. 

They stood in front of the door for several moments before Zeb spoke, "Somebody open the door? Don't think I can do it m'self. Hera put a hand on his shoulder reaching forward to turn the doorknob. 

As the door swung open they saw Alex laying unconscious just as the medic had said. He looked surprisingly none the worse for wear, Zeb thought. One hand rested on his stomach but the other was being held by Ezra who sat hunched over with his head resting on the bed. His head shot up quickly when the door opened.  
Blinking awake he suddenly realized who was in the room with him, and giving Alexsandr's hand a squeeze he let go and walked over to his crewmates. 

"Zeb I," Ezra started as tears pooled in his eyes. Zeb wordlessly pulled him into a hug. "I tried," Ezra voice was muffled by Zeb's chest, "Everything was fine. He'd been feeling better, He," Ezra pulled back suddenly, "Zeb I promise if I thought something was wrong and you needed to know I would've," Zeb grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him gently, "Hey, you don't think I blame ya?" Ezra wouldn't meet his eyes, "Ezra, you can't honestly think 'm angry at you?" Ezra still wouldn't look Zeb in the eye so Zeb got down on his knees to look him in the eye. "I know fer a fact that you did nothin' wrong. You hear me?" Zeb pulled him in for another hug saying, "Can't have you thinkin' that, not now."

They broke the embrace a short time later, drying their respective tears. Zeb went to sit by Alexsandr's bed, moving hair out of his face and straightening his pillow before sitting down. He moved to hold Alex's hand where it lay on his stomach but stopped short sucking in a breath. Eyes glued to Alexsandr's middle he whispered, "He's showing. I never even," a sob cut him off and soon he sat silently shaking as sadness overtook him again. Ezra and Hera moved to stand next to him, wrapping him in a hug. 

Zeb suddenly sat up and looked around at his crewmates, "You all should go get some rest," nodding at Hera, " 'Specially you." He turned back to look at Alex, "I'll stay with him."

Rex and Kanan shared a look before Kanan declared, "Right, you heard the man, come on Ezra." Ezra and Hera looked between Kanan and Zeb. Finally Ezra nodded, "I'll be back as early as I can," Zeb attempted a smile and waved them all off. As the door closed he turned back to Alex who remained unconscious in the bed.

Zeb wasn't sure how much time had passed before he heard the door opening again. Looking up he saw his crew, his family, dressed in their sleep wear carrying pillows and bed rolls. Zeb tilted his head questioningly, "Wha's all this?" 

They all grinned as Ezra answered, "You didn't actually think we'd leave you alone did you?" Zeb could only blink back as Ezra continued, "I also brought some things I thought you both might want," he held up a rucksack. 

"Thank you all," Zeb said when he trusted himself to speak," Don't know what I'd do without ya if I'm bein' honest." 

"You'll never have to find out," Hera promised.

They all set about claiming a corner of the room and laying down their bedding. When they were settled in however they found that sleep eluded them. No one said it but they were all filled with concern for Alexsandr; even being assured by the medic that he was stable did little to ease their minds. So instead of sleeping they sat up talking. They shared stories and even a few jokes. 

Several hours passed in this manner without any of them realizing it. They found the door opening suddenly as the doctor on call entered, obviously surprised at the impromptu sleepover happening. Ezra who was closest to the door tried his best to clear a path to Alexsandr's bed as Zeb stood to introduce himself, "Mornin'. Sorry 'bout all this," Zeb started, "The family an I couldn't jus' leave our man here by 'imself."

The doctor nodded her understanding, "That's perfectly fine, especially given the circumstances. You have my deepest condolences Captain...?" 

"Orrelios," he supplied, "Call me Zeb."

She smiled softly, "Zeb then, has he woken up at all since he was admitted?" 

Zeb shook his head, "Not since we've been here. Kid?" He looked over the doctor's shoulder at Ezra.

"He came back around for a few minutes right after we got here but he wasn't what I'd call fully conscious at all," Ezra answered. 

"I see," the doctor was quiet for a moment before continuing, "Captain sorry, Zeb do I have your permission to examine him?"

" Course," Zeb answered, "But why get my permission?"

"Captain Kallus can't consent right now," she stated plainly, "You're listed as his next of kin and therefore the decision to consent to examination and medical procedures falls to you." She added, "It is likely you'll be making several of those decisions soon."

Before she could continue Hera spoke, "We'll get out of the way," adding when Zeb was about to object, "We won't go far but I'm certain Alexsandr would appreciate some privacy."

"Good call," Kanan returned, "Ezra? C'mon."

"Kanan, I'm," Ezra started but stopped suddenly, "I'm going to stay. I can't just...if you need to move him at all it will be easier if I'm here to help right?" 

He locked eyes with Zeb who nodded, "Yeah you guys go on, we'll be fine here." With that Rex, Hera and Kanan stepped out.

As the door closed the doctor turned her attention back to Zeb, "An examination was done when he arrived but I would feel more comfortable repeating everything for accuracy's sake. I want to be as thorough as possible."

"That's good to hear," Ezra replied and Zeb could have sworn there was an edge to his voice. He decided to push that to the back of his mind for now and turned his attention to the doctor. 

"Whatever you need t' do, you have my permission. Just help 'I'm. Please," Zeb asked.

She smiled again before moving to the end of the bed, "I'd like to start with a pelvic exam, so if you could help situate him," she directed each of them to either side of Alexsandr and little by little they began moving him down the bed. Once he was positioned Zeb went to move the blanket and sheet with the intention of holding Alex's left knee. 

Too late Zeb heard Ezra's cry, "Zeb wait!" But as the blanket fell away Alexsandr's lower half was exposed along with the pad underneath him that was now fairly bloodied. The smell of the blood seemed to fill the room and hit Zeb like a blaster pistol to the face. He rocked back for a second and Ezra was sure he was about to pass out. But he shook himself and stood up straight.

"You good," Ezra asked.

"Karabast," Zeb groaned, followed by, "Yeah, Sasha needs me. 'm fine."

The exam only took a few minutes and still Alexsandr remained unconscious, a fact that was starting to worry Zeb more and more. After that they got Alex repositioned in the bed including replacing the pad and cleaning him up some. Zeb couldn't help but notice how Ezra jumped right in to help however he could. He was more grateful for this than he could say. 

Next the doctor performed a scan of Alexsandr's abdomen and pelvis. Once finished, she frowned at the readout. Zeb noticed this and asked worriedly, "There a problem?"

The doctor looked up at him and seemed to be ordering her thoughts before speaking," Captain Orre- Zeb, it appears that even with the amount of bleeding occurring Alexsandr's body has yet to completely...release all of the fetal...material."

"Fetal...material," Zeb repeated and for a second it seemed as if he didn't understand. But slowly he continued, "So you're saying he hasn't completely...that there's still..." Zeb gave up that train of thought with a shake of his head asking, "What can we do?" 

"There are a few options," the doctor answered, "Surgery is one but in my opinion that might not be the safest in his case," she paused before continuing, "The other option is to aid Alexsandr's body in finishing the process naturally. It will take longer but I believe it will be safer in the long run." 

Zeb reached out and took one of Alexsandr's hands in his asking, "Will he be in pain?"

"There will be some discomfort, cramping," the doctor explained, "But we can try to make it as easy on him as possible."

"Does he have to stay here until it's over?" Ezra asked in a small voice from the other side of the bed.

"Not at all," the doctor replied, "Once he wakes up we can begin the medication and he'll be given pain medication to take as needed and then he'll be free to go."

Just then the door opened as Kanan, Rex and Hera returned. The doctor gathered her datapad and scanner saying, "I'll check back in a few hours. Let me know if you need anything," then she left. 

Everyone collectively sat closer to the bed now. Zeb was on one side holding Alexsandr's hand and Ezra was on the opposite side doing the same. As much as they all clearly needed to try to rest, they continued to sit up for a while longer. Ezra and Zeb filled the others in on overhung the doctor had said. 

Hera assured Zeb that she would talk to command herself about him taking time to be with Alex if necessary. He was beyond grateful for that and was about to say so when Ezra suddenly spoke, "Zeb, when we're back on the Ghost can I keep helping with Alex?" Zeb looked at him curiously, "I mean will you let me help you when he needs help?"

Not entirely understanding his meaning Zeb answered, "Yeah sure kid. You don't have to ask my permission though."

Ezra shook his head, "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. What I meant was I'm going to keep helping and doing things for him. Even if he's told you he doesn't need it."

Zeb narrowed his eyes at Ezra, "You know that's likely to get you smacked upside the head yeah?"

Ezra smiled the littlest bit, "It's worked out pretty well since you've been gone."

"Explain," Zeb said flatly.

"I just basically stopped asking before I offered help," Ezra explained. "I also tried to anticipate when he was going to need help and I realized if help is already being offered before he's had to ask for it, Alex is much more inclined to just go with it."

Zeb sat stunned for a moment before muttering, "Karabast that's clever."

Ezra continued, "It's more or less what I know you already do. But I also know you're the only one of us he actively asks for help. This cuts out the asking."

Zeb turned to Kanan and Hera gesturing at Ezra, "Smart kid ya got here."

"Heh thanks," Kanan laughed, "Takes after me obviously."

Their groaning at Kanan's joke was cut short by Alex beginning to stir. Moaning softly he slowly opened his eyes. As soon as he found Ezra he gripped the boy's hand. Attempting to speak, he found he was unable to. Ezra immediately poured him some water and after several gulps he tried again, "Ezra, where?" And then realization slowly dawned on him and his eyes drifted shut as tears slid down his face, "Of course," opening his eyes again he asked, "Have you been here the entire time?"

Ezra remained holding on to Alex's hand and nodded in response before trusting himself to speak, "But I wasn't alone," Ezra gestured at the others in the room and Alexandr took them all in slowly, finally stopping at the opposite side of the bed and coming face to face with Zeb.

"Hello Sasha," Zeb said quietly, reaching out to card his fingers through Alex's hair.

"Garazeb," Alexsandr choked out. And with that one word it was as if a dam had burst inside him. Alexsandr began sobbing as he pulled Zeb closer repeating over and over how sorry he was. Zeb could only hold him close and cry with him, all the while assuring him that there was nothing to apologize for. 

"But it's my fault," Alexsandr hiccuped, "I lost our" before he could finish the sentence Zeb cut him off firmly, "No. We lost a child. You hear me?" He waited for Alexsandr to nod before he continued, "We lost them but it is not, will never be, your fault. I need you to believe that." 

Alexsandr nodded and continued to cry silently before again seeming to realize that the others were in the room. When he started to apologize they all rushed to wave it off at once. This unfortunately just overwhelmed Alexsandr who cried harder. Talking a different approach Hera came and sat on the edge of the bed and gently took one of Alexsandr's hands.

"I can't imagine how overwhelming this must be," she began, "And as important as it is for you to know we love and support you, it's even more important that you're comfortable." She nodded to emphasize her words. "Would you like the rest of us to leave you alone for a while?"

Alexsandr nodded slowly before suddenly looking over at Ezra, "I'm sorry, you must think I'm," but he was cut off by Ezra, "Grieving? Completely overwhelmed and in pain? Oh yeah how dare you," he tried to joke. He pulled Alexsandr into a tight hug which was returned just as tightly. 

Pulling back finally, Ezra reached into his pocket and placed a comm in Alex's hand saying, "You need me you call, alright?" Alexsandr nodded not trusting himself to speak. 

Everyone then gave both Alexsandr and Zeb either a hug or a handshake before leaving. As Ezra reached the door Alexsandr called out, "Ezra? Thank you brother, truly," Ezra smiled, "Anything for my brother, either of you," and with that he left them alone.

Zeb moved to sit on the edge of the bed and slid an arm around Alexsandr's shoulders. Alexsandr sank against him with a sigh, "My Zeb."

Zeb started to run a hand down his back and asked quietly, "Is there anything you need right now or would you just rather rest?"

Alexsandr mumbled something sleepily that Zeb didn't catch. "Sorry? What about 'Bine," he asked. 

"Said someone call Sabine. Want my family here. Miss you all."

"Oh Sasha," Zeb sighed, "I'll call her myself."

"Zeb, my Zeb" Alexsandr hummed before beginning to snore softly.

Zeb gently laid them both back against the bed and held Alex while he slept.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm back with an update finally. I'd really like to keep updates weekly, every two weeks at the very most. Let's see if I can stick with that, ha! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Thank you so much to those of you who are joining me on my fanfiction journey! A quick note, I'm having to bounce my document through several locations/pieces of tech. Because of that, editing has been a bear. This is something I hope to straighten out soon. Thanks for being patient until then!

By that afternoon Alexsandr had been released from the medbay, after a final examination and scan by the doctor. She assured both Alex and Zeb that Alexsandr would recover fine and that using medication to complete the process would be better for him in the long run.

"And why exactly am I not a good candidate for surgery?" Alexsandr asked.

"Due to your internal make up, it would be safer if surgery was left for absolute emergency situations," she replied. 

"Such as?" Zeb questioned.

"Well for instance, if his next pregnancy cannot be delivered naturally," the doctor offered. 

That caught Alexsandr's attention and he immediately struggled to sit up completely, with Zeb's assistance. "I'm sorry, I'm sure I misheard you" he began in a tone Zeb hadn't heard in a long time, hard, almost metallic and sharp edged, "Are you honestly suggesting that I will be capable of carrying a pregnancy to term, let alone that I will be under the care of this medbay should that actually happen?"

The doctor blinked for several seconds before recovering enough to answer, "Alexsandr,"she started but Alexsandr cut her off correcting, "Captain Kallus." She nodded and continued, "Captain Kallus, you are well within your rights to have hard feelings against the medbay staff. Personally I share those feelings on your behalf," she paused briefly, "But please believe me when I say that with the proper medical care there is no reason why you couldn't have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and birth experience. I'm certain of it," she smiled as if to emphasize her words before finishing with, "But let's get you through this experience healthy first, yeah?" 

With that she went through the basics of the medication, what the next few days would entail and reminded both of them what could be done to relieve any pain. After making sure she'd answered all of their questions she gathered her equipment and started to leave. "Doctor?" Alexsandr called just as she had reached the door.

"Bev," she smiled, pushing some of her bright red hair behind her ear. 

"Bev," Alexsandr smiled back, "I do want to thank you. If you hadn't been willing to…" he trailed off but tried again, "I just mean, I likely wouldn't be...thank you," he said again. 

She nodded, "Take care of yourself alright Alexsandr?" This time he simply smiled at her use of his name as she turned to leave, closing the door behind her. 

"Well she's...nice?" Zeb tried. 

Alexsandr rolled his eyes, "You would say that. She's a redhead."

"Hey!" Zeb said indignantly, "That makes me sound kinda shallow don't you think?"

"Alright," Alexsandr challenged, "Exactly what is it you find attractive in a person?"

Zeb stopped and appeared to be giving this serious thought for several minutes. Suddenly he mumbled awkwardly, "Don't think I wanna play this game anymore."

"Oh no," Alexsandr pried, "You started this. So spill it Captain Orrelios."

Zeb's back was turned as he busied himself with getting their belongings together. He stopped and growled softly at Alexsandr's use of his title and muttered something Alexsandr couldn't make out.

"Say again love? I missed that," he clarified. 

Zeb leaned heavily on the chair in front of him and said quietly, "It's you, just you," he spun to face Alex suddenly and there were tears in his eyes, as he continued, "Sasha you're it. Pretty sure you're it forever. And when I got here last night I thought...I thought you," he cut himself off wrapping Alexsandr in a firm but careful hug, burying his face in the crook of Alexsandr's neck.

Alexsandr wrapped his arms around Zeb returning the embrace and trying to soothe him, "Oh my Zeb. I'm still here love, not going anywhere for a long while."

"Have half a mind to make you promise that," Zeb mumbled.

Alexsandr pulled back to look Zeb in the eye, "I promise," he said firmly.

Before either of them could say more, there was a knock on the door and a moment later Ezra walked in greeting them, "Hey Zeb. Alex! You look good, are you feeling alright," taking in the slight tension he paused, "Is everything ok? Kriff if I'm interrupting I can go," and he turned back toward the door, only to stop short when Zeb and Alex both called out, "No wait!"

Alexsandr nudged Zeb upright and continued addressing Ezra, "Please stay. In fact if you don't mind could you help us get ready to go?"

"Go?" Ezra asked, "Wait, you're coming home? Alex that's great! What do you need me to do?"

"Actually I think we'll really only need help getting all this out of here," Zeb nodded at the bed roll and pillow sitting next to the rucksack Ezra had brought the night before. 

"Why don't I just take it all back while you get dressed?" Ezra suggested. Alexsandr and Zeb both nodded and Ezra started to pick up the bed roll and pillow but stopped, "Did you not use any of this?" He asked.

Zeb shook his head sheepishly, "Nah I ended up sleeping sitting up with Sasha." 

Ezra furrowed his brow, "Well you're both going to bed when we get back to the Ghost." 

"Is that so?" Alexsandr asked pushing back the blankets and moving to the edge of the bed. But that's as far as he got before he went pale and started to list sideways. Zeb only just managed to catch him before he fell.

Tossing a pair of sleep pants and an oversized t-shirt on the bed Ezra answered, "Oh you bet. And on second thought, I'll stay and walk back with you."

"Thanks kid," Zeb nodded at Ezra. "You ok now or you still dizzy?" He asked Alexsandr. 

"I'm alright love" he replied and then to both of them, "But maybe don't go far?"

"You got it," Ezra and Zeb said in unison. 

Alexsandr grinned at them and then started to work his way out of the gown he was wearing, leaving it around his waist for the moment and pulling on the t shirt. Reaching back into the rucksack Zeb handed him a pair of underwear with padding in the crotch. At the sight of them Alexsandr started to pale again. 

Tossing the undergarment on the bed Zeb took both of Alexsandr's hands speaking softly, "I know Sasha. This part's unfortunately familiar. But it's going to be alright. We'll get through this," he pulled Alexsandr close and started rubbing his back until he relaxed. Finally he asked, "Would you like my help?" 

Alexsandr nodded silently. Quickly Zeb bent and slipped the underwear over Alex's feet and pulled them as high as he could before asking, "Ready to stand up?" Again Alex nodded and started to put weight on both feet before stopping and looking over at Ezra. Without a word he stepped over and slipped an arm around Alexsandr's waist, not taking any weight yet, just acting as a balance.

Alexsandr stood slowly and seemed to be doing fairly well but just as Zeb finished pulling the underwear up Alexsandr let out a groan and started to curl forward around his middle. Between the two of them Zeb and Ezra eased him back onto the bed before he could fall. He sat leaning on one hand with the other pressed against his abdomen. 

Not taking the time to second guess Ezra moved to put a hand next to Alexsandr's on his stomach. Alex tensed and Ezra paused asking, "Is this ok?" Alexsandr shook his head and Ezra took his hand back saying, "Alright, but I need you to breathe alright? Remember? Slow and steady. You're fine," Ezra nodded to Zeb telling him to move to Alexsandr's other side.

After a few minutes of Ezra repeating the mantra Alexsandr started to relax and slowly reached for Ezra and Zeb's hands, which they immediately let him hold as he continued to work through the pain.

Finally Alexsandr relaxed completely letting out a huge breath. He raised his head blinking at Zeb and Ezra before realizing he was holding both of their hands. He let go quickly and began apologizing but they stopped him and both took a hand again. 

Making sure Alexsandr was paying attention Zeb started, "Lex you do whatever you need to feel comfortable alright? Me, the kid, the whole Kriffing crew, we're all here to help however you need alright?" Alexsandr nodded starting to tear up as Ezra scooted closer and threw an arm around Alexsandr's shoulders, "You already know you're stuck with my annoying pain in the butt," he grinned cheekily. 

"Wouldn't have it any other way, either of you," Alexsandr replied honestly. 

And with that Zeb and Ezra continued helping Alexsandr get dressed and they finally left the medbay to start making their way back to the Ghost. They moved slowly as Alex was finding it difficult to walk after everything that had happened the night before. In fact as they reached the ship Alex found his right leg was barely holding him up.

"Zeb," Alexsandr began quietly, "I'm fairly certain I can't make it up the ramp."

"Hm? Oh no worries," Zeb smiled, "Ezra can you handle the bag too?"

"Sure thing," Ezra replied, shifting the bed roll under his arm and taking the rucksack off Zeb. 

Once he saw that Ezra was settled, Zeb bent toward Alexsandr and before Alex could argue had lifted him off the ground and was carrying him inside the ship. Once through the loading bay Zeb asked, "Think you can walk now?" But Alexsandr was too surprised to answer so Zeb answered for him saying, "You're right, might as well carry you all the way to our room."

Alexsandr caught Ezra's eye over Zeb's shoulder and looked at him for assistance but Ezra just laughed, "Hey man we said we were going to help you and you were cool with that remember?"

Realizing Ezra wasn't going to be any help Alexsandr quit trying. And soon he was being deposited in bed and given pain medication and tea. Shortly after that he drifted off to sleep. 

And so recovery began for Alexsandr. Zeb and the rest of his found family were hell bent on making sure he relaxed as much as possible. They brought him food, gave him his medicine and did anything else he needed of them, including but not limited to helping him through painful cramps and sitting with him through crying spells brought on by fluctuating hormones. 

Nearly a week passed in this way and Alex found he was feeling better little by little. Soon he was feeling well enough for the others to have given him some space, having a few duties they needed to see to. This was how he found himself waking up from a nap and needing the refresher in a completely empty ship. Relishing the quiet he got up slowly. He was only vaguely aware of a dull cramp, the least severe it had been in almost a week. 

Taking this as a good sign he made for the door, grabbing the comm on the desk as a second thought. Once in the fresher he briefly considered a shower but decided it could wait. He did however wash his face. As he was seeing to that the vague cramping started to get stronger reminding him why he came in the fresher in the first place. Sitting down increased the cramping ten fold and Alex hunched forward instinctively panting. Looking down he saw that his underwear was covered in blood, more than had been there in several days. What's happening, Alexsandr thought.Something's wrong, he realized and knew he had to try to get help. He'd only managed to engage the comm when the pain spiked again nearly taking his breath away. "Zeb?" He tried but his voice was barely a whisper. He tried again and this time managed to actually make himself heard. "Garazeb are you there?" He asked.

"Sasha?" Came the reply, "You don't sound good. What's up?"

"Zeb I," Alexsandr tried again but he was cut off by another pain and it seemed to him, his insides shifting, "Zeb something's wrong," but that was all he could get out as something deep in his groin started to fall through him leaving searing pain behind it. He was beyond hearing and on the verge of losing consciousness so didn't hear Zeb on the other end of the comm, "Karabast Sasha you hold on. I'm coming."

Half way back to the ship Zeb met Ezra, Hera and Kanan. "Alex was on the wider channel, not just linked to you," Ezra offered. "We all heard him and came running," he finished before they all took off again. Hera suddenly stopped with a cry, one hand going to her stomach.

Zeb and Ezra turned to see Kanan stopping next to Hera. "Kanan?" Zeb questioned. 

"I'm fine," Hera called, "Just a cramp, go help Alex!"

Zeb and Ezra ran into the Ghost, through the loading bay and up into the main level of the ship. When they reached the galley Zeb called, "Sasha? Where are ya?" Not receiving an answer Zeb and Ezra started down the hall. Ezra ducked into Zeb and Alex's bunk room while Zeb stopped at the refresher. 

Before the door had opened completely Zeb saw Alex curled up on the floor. Shoving the door open Zeb moved into the fresher and immediately sank to his knees. Alexsandr lay on the floor in front of him where he'd fallen after losing consciousness. His pants were around his ankles and a small pool of blood spread underneath him.

"Oh Sasha," Zeb murmured. Reaching forward he brushed the hair away from Alexsandr's face and as he did Alex moaned. That sound snapped Zeb to attention and he rose and turned quickly out of the fresher almost running into Ezra.

Catching the boy by the shoulders he turned him ordering, "Get a blanket off my bed." Ezra did as asked and returned quickly. Handing the blanket to Zeb he stopped mid motion finally seeing Alexsandr for the first time. 

"Alex," Ezra said softly, "Zeb is he," but before he could finish the sentence Zeb shook his head quickly, "I'll see to him. Go and call the medics. Tell 'em I'm bringing him in. You tell them this is how we found him."

Ezra nodded stiffly backing out of the room and turning back down the hall as Zeb bent to wrap Alexsandr in the blanket. Ezra had only gotten a little ways down the hall before Zeb called him back, "See if you can find Chop," Zeb asked lifting Alexsandr into his arms. 

Ezra only hesitated briefly before calling down the hall, "Hey Chopper! Get down here!"

When the droid had sped to join them Zeb addressed him, "We're heading to the medbay. Need you to put that," he tossed his head back toward the fresher, "in a sample jar." 

Chopper began to grind and whir in argument but Zeb cut him off, "Kriff's sake Chopper! Just do it...please." 

Zeb turned to Ezra, "You get a hold of medbay?"

Ezra nodded, "They want to talk to you," he gestured with the comm.

"Karabast don't have time for this," he muttered, "Fine follow me," he turned into the bunk room and laid Alexsandr down on the bed which elicited a groan that Zeb was all too happy to hear.

Pressing the button on the comm Zeb spoke, "Captain Orrelios here."

"Zeb? It's Bev. What's happening with Alexsandr exactly?"

"Bev!" Zeb said in relief, "It's all gone wrong. He was improving I swear and then today he comm'd me saying he was in pain. He thought something was wrong," Zeb took a breath before continuing, "Not twenty minutes later I found him unconscious on the refresher floor in a pool of blood. He fell off the toilet I think."

"How long ago was that?" She asked. 

"Ten maybe twenty minutes," Zeb answered, "So roughly half an hour since he comm'd."

"And he'd had no fever or anything recently?" She asked.

"None, look I'm bringing him in as soon as we're done talking. So are we done?" Zeb asked in annoyance.

"One last question," Bev was silent for a second before continuing, "Was there anything in the toilet, anything that wouldn't normally be I mean?"

"How'd you" Zeb shook his head as if to clear it,."Bev what's going on? What's happening to Alex?"

"I'll need to examine him to be sure," Bev replied, "But I'll come to you. My shift is ending and the less you move Alexsandr I'm sure the more he'd appreciate it. See you in a few." And with no futher comment she ended the transmission. 

Alexsandr's barely conscious voice drifted from the bed. "Well she's not wrong about the being moved part."

"Yeah I guess that makes sense Sasha," Zeb replied absently before turning to the bed and shouting, "Sasha!" Rushing forward he fell by the bedside wrapping Alexsandr in a hug and proceeding to soak Alex's shirt in tears.

Alexsandr did his best to return the hug from his partially reclined position and soothe Zeb at the same time, "Oh Garazeb, my Zeb. I'm here love, I'm alright."

"Like Kriff you are!" Zeb cried. 

Just then Ezra careened through the door calling, "What happened I heard yelling."

Ignoring him Zeb continued, "Sasha, love. Do you have any idea what we walked into just now? Do you understand how I found you in the fresher? Nothing about that is fine!" He paused beginning to cry again, "I thought you were...and you promised! You promised me you wouldn't...but I thought you'd left me."

Alexsandr pulled himself up as much as he was able and pulled Zeb to him letting him sob into his chest. Looking up at Ezra where he stood in the doorway Alexsandr asked, "Ezra dear boy, a favor?"

"Anything," Ezra answered. 

"Go wait for the doctor. And if it's not too much trouble could I have some tea?"

Ezra nodded and turned to leave saying, "You're sure you're alright if I go?"

"Perfectly," Alexsandr assured. Ezra left still looking unsure. Alexsandr shifted his weight nudging Zeb's face up until Alexsandr could meet his eyes. They still brimmed with tears and the sight brought tears to his own eyes, "Oh my Zeb. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for all of this." Zeb tried to speak but Alexsandr continued, "And what's more, I'm sorry that it's hurting you, that it's hurting us." He leaned his forehead against Zeb's, "I know I'm not to blame, neither of us are. But that doesn't make it any easier. And I wish so badly that I could change things."

"So do I," Zeb answered, "Sasha I just hate this so much. I hate that you're hurting and having to deal with my hurt on top of it all. I'm sorry I'm not-"

Alexsandr shook his head firmly, cutting Zeb off, "Don't. Don't say it. You're exactly what you need to be. You're exactly what I need you to be," he leaned back to look Zeb in the eye, "You're my Zeb." 

Zeb hugged Alexsandr tightly only to let go suddenly when Alexsandr cried out.

"What's wrong, what hurts?" Zeb questioned worriedly. 

Letting out a breath Alex answered, "Just sore love, basically everywhere," he tried to laugh it off unsuccessfully. "I'm fine," he added, "Promise."

"Mind if I convince myself of that?" A voice from the doorway asked as Bev walked in with a bagful of equipment. "Hello Alexsandr, Zeb" she greeted them and then set to work examining Alexsandr and getting the details of what had happened from both him and Zeb. She ran a scan and found no remaining tissue. Then she asked to see what had been collected from the refresher. 

"Sure thing," Zeb answered, "Hey Chop! Were you able to get what was in the toilet?" He asked the droid. 

In answer Chopper spun out of the room only to return a minute later with a glass jar containing a smallish ball of bloody tisssue. Bev took it and lifted it up to the light saying, "The scan didn't detect any residual tissue but I wanted to see this for myself. It appears intact so there will be much less pain and bleeding over the next day or so and then it should stop entirely."

"So you're saying that's…" Alexsandr began but trailed off. He tried again, saying, "What I felt earlier...dropping out of…it was the...the…" Alexsandr cut off again. He began to struggle for breath and found himself getting dizzy. 

Fighting for breath he managed to call out weakly, "Zeb."

Zeb was immediately at his side taking the hand held out to him. "Hey stay with me love. Come on Sasha stay with me. Deep breaths," but it was no use. Alexsandr's eyes lost focus and the vague tremors Zeb remembered started. 

"Karabast, Lex I don't think I can move you to the floor this time," Zeb admitted knowing Alex couldn't hear him. 

"Does he have a history of panic attacks?" Bev asked going to her bag.

"Guess so," Zeb answered, "But it's the ones in his present I'm most concerned about." 

She moved to the bed holding an auto injector, "Do I have your permission to sedate him?" She asked. Zeb nodded and she held the injector to his neck and engaged the plunger. Instantly Alexsandr went limp, his breathing coming easier. Zeb caught him and laid him down as comfortably as possible. 

"He'll most likely sleep for the next few hours," Bev said softly. Zeb nodded straightening the pillow and moving the hair out of Alex's face. Once satisfied he stood and they made their way from the room quietly. 

"Thanks Doc," Zeb said once they were in the hall. 

Bev waved him off, "It's the least I could do considering the treatment he's received from my colleagues."

"What'd'ya mean?" He asked. 

"That explanation is probably best left to Alex or your friend Ezra," she suggested. "And at any rate I should be going. If he needs anything else don't hesitate to call." And with that she left. 

Zeb made his way to the galley for lack of anything else to do. There he found Ezra. 

"Where are Hera and Kanan?" He asked.

"Resting in their room," Ezra answered, "How's he doing?"

"Had a panic attack," Zeb sighed. "She sedated him, should be out for a few hours at least."

"How are you?" Ezra asked.

"Who me?" Zeb questioned, "You know me kid, I'm great."

Instead of calling him out on the obvious lie, Ezra simply walked over to where Zeb was leaned against the counter and threw his arms around him saying, "It's going to be ok. One of these days, it has to be."

Zeb hugged him back hard and they stood like that for several minutes before Zeb remembered something, "Hey kid, what did Bev mean about making up for the way her colleagues had treated Alex?"

Ezra looked up at him with a pained expression and asked, "You feel like taking a walk?"

When they had gotten a ways from the ship and the rest of the base activity Zeb commented, "What're you trying to do, get me away from everyone in case I cause a scene."

"Actually that's exactly what I'm doing," Ezra answered, "Plus I figured you punching a tree was better than denting a wall in the Ghost."

"Very funny," Zeb deadpanned, "Alright out with it."

"First I want to say based on what I know I don't think I know everything you need to know," Ezra started.

"Clear as mud," Zeb said flatly, "Go on."

Ezra took a breath, "You remember that medic that was on duty the night Alex came to the medbay?" 

Zeb nodded, "Said he was there when Alex found out about the baby."

Ezra picked up where he left off, "He was also the medic who came the day you left for the mission when Alex passed out."

"Hadn't heard about that," Zeb tensed, "Guess he told you to leave it and wouldn't let you tell me."

"Pretty much," Ezra answered, "That was the day I ended up finding out he was pregnant."

"Medbay told ya," Zeb reasoned.

Ezra shook his head, "No, they hardly said anything to either of us. The medic came and got him, brought him to the medbay and we sat in a room basically alone until Alex woke up."

Zeb looked confused, "But he was unconscious. Hell he was pregnant and unconscious, why wouldn't they act even the least bit concerned?"

Ezra shook his head again, "I didn't know what was going on at the time. I know now that I should have said something." 

"It should never have been up to you," Zeb stressed. "So that's the Bev meant?"

Ezra started to look even more uncomfortable than he had previously, "Um not quite." Zeb didn't say anything so he continued, "The night Alex...I mean when you guys lost…," Ezra trailed off again before blurting, "The medbay refused to send a medic."

"What do you mean?" Zeb's voice was deadly calm.

"I'd gone to check on him," Ezra started to explain, "Thought he was having a nightmare but it was the pain making him cry out. When I got him awake he told me to call the medbay. At first they didn't answer. When they finally did it was to say Alex should hold on until his appointment the next morning."

Ezra paused noticing how still Zeb had become. Looking up he saw Zeb's jaw was tight and his eyes were screwed shut. Taking a breath Ezra continued, "When we realized he'd started bleeding I tried again but all they said was spotting was normal and that Alex needed to wait for his appointment." 

"So what changed," Zeb asked quietly.

"Alex," Ezra replied, "He took the comm from me and told medbay that he was having a miscarriage, what would be his second with their staff," Ezra paused and swallowed, "Then he promised if that happened he'd let you and Hera handle them."

"Oh I'm going to don't you worry," Zeb growled, "Thanks for telling me kid. I appreciate it."

"Wait," Ezra stopped him, "There's a little more."

"I'm not going to like this either am I?"

Ezra couldn't meet Zeb's eyes, "We didn't get a response from medbay after that. But a little while later the medic from earlier in the week showed up. He said he'd come on his own, and that the on call doctor had made the decision that Alex's miscarriage was a foregone conclusion so there wasn't any point in doing anything."

That seemed to knock the air out of Zeb. He sank to his knees slowly and if Ezra hadn't steadied him would have likely gone all the way to the ground. Bowing his head he murmured, "When they said we wouldn't be able to have a baby I didn't think they meant they'd willingly let Sasha die miscarrying."

Ezra wrapped his arms around Zeb who returned the embrace as sobs started to wrack him. After a few minutes Zeb spoke but Ezra could barely understand him. Leaning back he made eye contact with Zeb shaking his head in confusion.

After a minute Zeb had calmed down enough to repeat, "What are we supposed to do now? I can't just tell Sasha we can't have a baby. That's not fair. But I can't risk him either."

Ezra nodded his understanding, "I know it's a risk but Bev at least seems determined to do right by you guys. So if you did decide to try again you'd at least have her to back you up, not to mention the crew and command," Ezra stopped at Zeb's panicked expression, "I just mean you have support here, probably more than you think. And short of leaving the rebellion and living on Lira San I don't know where you'd find that "

Zeb tipped his head thoughtfully for a minute before replying, "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't the long term goal. But I can't just up and leave this family to go make my own."

"Aw, I'd miss you too," Ezra grinned cheekily.

"Such a pain," Zeb muttered. 

"Yeah but I'm a pain you love," Ezra stated.

"Guess I have to admit that," Zeb laughed standing up and slinging an arm around Ezra's shoulder. "Thank you, for ya know, tellin' me all that." Ezra just smiled in response "Wanna head back to the Ghost? I'm starving all of a sudden."

"Sure thing, Ezra answered, "But I'm pretty sure we're out of waffles."

"How'd you manage that?" Zeb asked.

"Oh heh," Ezra mumbled awkwardly, "That's another long story."

As they sat down with their food, Kanan entered the galley yawning and rubbing his face, "Hey guys, sorry for leaving you to deal with things earlier. Zeb, how's Alex?"

"Was just about to go check on him," Zeb replied, "He had a panic attack while Bev was here and she gave him a sedative."

"I actually meant his comm earlier," Kanan asked, "What happened to him?"

"Ah, right," Zeb sighed, "Bev said he'd completely gotten rid of...of…," Zeb trailed off before continuing, "Yeah anyway, guess it's over for real now."

Kanan nodded silently before offering, "I think Chopper's trying to clean up the fresher."

"I should go help," Zeb reasoned, "Not Chop's job to take care of that."

"I'll do it," Ezra chimed in, "You go sit with Alex, me and Chopper will handle the cleanup."

"You mean it?" Zeb asked.

"Yeah, no worries," Ezra answered, "Holler when he wakes up and I'll bring him something to eat."

"Thanks kid," Zeb said clapping a hand on Ezra's back, "appreciate that."

"You got it," Ezra smiled, "Just trying to help. Speaking of which," he turned to Kanan, "Can I do anything to help you and Hera?" Before Kanan could answer Ezra kept going, "I'm not trying to overstep. I just want to help wherever I can."

Kanan smiled, "I'll be sure to let you know. Right now she just needs rest. She's been pushing herself way harder than necessary."

"Sounds familiar," Zeb huffed, "Right, gonna go check on our man Kallus."

Zeb found himself pausing before going inside their bunk room. He felt somehow that things were changing and it unnerved him. Likely it was just due to recent events being so far beyond his ability to cope with. Taking a breath he opened the door. Alexsandr was much as he'd been when Zeb left him earlier.

Taking a seat in the desk chair Zeb was unable to take his eyes off Alexsandr. The man was lying slightly curled up facing Zeb. His chest rose and fell in even breaths. He seemed calm and Zeb could detect no pain or discomfort in his expression. 

How long he sat watching Alex sleep Zeb didn't know. But he felt as if he could do it forever. At least like this he could assure himself of Alex's safety and comfort. Who knew how that might change when he woke up. 

Sometime later Alexsandr began to stir. His eyes fluttered open and seeing Zeb he immediately reached out a hand. Zeb stood and was by his side in an instant. He took Alexsandr's hand planting kisses across his knuckles as he silently sent prayers to the Ashla. 

Alexsandr cleared his throat roughly but his voice was still barely above a whisper, "Garazeb," and merely hearing his name filled Zeb with emotion. Alexsandr had always said his name with such reverence, as if it were poetry or a prayer itself. Zeb felt honored every time he heard Alex speak his name. 

Kneeling he reached out to card his fingers through Alexsandr's hair, "My Sasha," Zeb whispered, "How're you feeling love?"

Alexsandr scrunched his brow in thought before answering, "Honestly exhausted, but more than that I'm really Kriffing sore," he tried to laugh that last part off but broke off in a hiss of pain, "As I said," he muttered attempting to sit up. 

Zeb quickly moved to assist him, supporting his weight as he adjusted himself and placing pillows behind him to hold him up. "Better?" Zeb asked. 

"Much," Alexsandr replied, "Thank you love."

"You need anything?" Zeb asked, "Hungry?"

"Hmmm a bit I suppose," Alexsandr admitted.

"I'll go grab you something from the galley," Zeb said standing and moving to the door, "Sorry to say we're out of waffles," he added. 

"A shame," Alexsandr hummed, "I was getting accustomed to-," he stopped suddenly, "Wait! Oh I am going to Kriffing kill that boy."

Zeb just laughed as he turned down the hall, "Empty threats."

"We'll see about that," Alexsandr mumbled under his breath but there was no heat behind his words. He was honestly surprised Ezra had kept that information to himself for as long as he had. 

A few minutes later Zeb came back with a tray of food and Ezra in tow. While Zeb went about setting Alex up with a tray table and got his food and drink situated Ezra hung back awkwardly and continued to do so as Alex ate. Alexsandr didn't press the issue but when he'd finished eating and Ezra still hadn't so much as made eye contact with him he decided to break the silence himself. 

"Ezra?" The young Jedi flinched and Alex cringed slightly before trying again, "Is something wrong?"

"You actually have to ask" Ezra muttered petulantly.

Alex looked over at Zeb who shrugged silently before continuing, "I'm afraid I do. If I've done something to-" Ezra cut him off with a snort,"Seriously?" And now he did meet Alexsandr's eyes and Alex realized there were tears pooling in Ezra's eyes. "After today, you really don't understand why I'm upset?"

Zeb cut in asking, "Where's this coming from?"

"Are you kidding?" Ezra's voice rose the more worked up he became, "We were literally just talking about how close Alex was to dying!"

"Karabast," Zeb muttered, "You weren't supposed to throw this back on him. He doesn't need this right now Ezra!"

"Can someone please loop me in here!" Alexsandr shouted.

Ezra walked across the room and sank down on the floor next to the bed. He stared at the carpet as he spoke, "Zeb wanted to know," he let out a breath, "so I told him about the medbay refusing to send a medic the other night and how we were left alone the day you passed out." Ezra looked up meeting Alexsandr's eyes, "I've been so wrapped up trying to be there for you and being so angry at how you were getting treated," his voice broke on a sob, "because we're family." 

Alexsandr reached out but Ezra was curling in on himself again before he continued, "We are family, that means you can't die. And when we answered your comm earlier I thought...you were on the floor...and the blood." Before Alexsandr knew what was happening Ezra had gotten to his knees and was wrapping Alexsandr in a hug as he continued to mumble, "I don't want you to die."

Alexsandr wrapped his arms around Ezra tightly, one hand holding the back of his head as Alex bent his face into Ezra's shoulder. They stayed like that for several minutes before Alexsandr raised his head and made eye contact with Zeb making it clear that he was speaking to him as well, "I have absolutely no intention of dying. Please believe that. The last thing I want to do is leave this family that has so willingly made me one of its own." 

Ezra pulled back hiccupping, "You mean it?" Alexsandr gave Ezra a look as if asking permission for something and took one of Ezra's hands laying it on his chest, "You feel that? My heart is still beating. I have no immediate plans for that to change any time soon."

"I'll see to that," Zeb boasted, "Ashla knows you taking care of yourself is a gamble at best."

Ezra laughed at that pulling away from Alexsandr only to place his hand back on his chest frowning slightly, "They're really gone."

Alexsandr looked up suddenly, "You mean you don't…? Yes well that's to be expected I suppose," and calm as he sounded tears began to spill down Alexsandr's cheeks. This resulted in both Ezra and Zeb joining him on the bed and all joining in a group hug. 

This is how Kanan and Hera found them a little while later. Hera and Alex immediately began mutually fussing over each other with Alexsandr insisting that the captain sit down and rest and Hera pestering him with fluffing his pillows. While this was going on Ezra and Zeb stood in the corner talking to Kanan. Zeb lost no time bragging on the padawan. 

"Hey Kanan, just found out your pupil here had figured out how to talk to my kid," Zeb grinned.

"He what?" Kanan asked, "You what? How?"

Ezra smiled and scratched at the back of his neck nervously, "It wasn't intentional. I'm not even sure what I did to be honest." 

"Uh huh," Kanan sounded incredulous, "Details, now."

Ezra sank into the desk chair backwards crossing his arms over the back, "One of the times he was having cramps I was in the middle of my rambling to get him calmed down and before I'd realized what happened I was in contact with his energy and then the baby's."

Ezra looked up at Zeb suddenly, "I honestly didn't mean to do anything other than help. The energy I encountered seemed agitated, hyper. So I just talked until it calmed down."

"So you really did help?" Kanan asked still unsure.

"Immensely," Alexsandr replied from across the room, "Truly it was astounding. He was able to calm them better than anything I'd tried."

"Not all the time," Ezra grinned looking back at him, "Team waffles?"

"Ah yes, team waffles," Alexsandr looked down at his abdomen suddenly before he remembered the familiar flutters wouldn't be felt this time. He seemed to deflate a little then and everyone fell silent for a time.

"So," Ezra finally asked Kanan, "You can communicate with your baby right? I mean that's normal, right?"

Kanan nodded, "Me talking to my kid is less surprising than what you did though. I'm a mostly trained Jedi and the baby appears to be force sensitive. For you to have been in contact I assume the kit would have had to have been force sensitive as well."

"Karabast," Alex gasped, and everyone turned to look at him. He coughed quietly, "Sorry the thought of a force sensitive half human Lasat kit is just a lot to wrap one's mind around."

"Heh," Zeb laughed nervously, "And I thought the idea of fatherhood alone was scary. Good luck Kanan."

"Better watch out Zeb," Ezra smirked, "Keep talking like that and your next kid will be force sensitive too."

Zeb didn't answer instead he looked up at Alex meeting the other man's gaze. The intensity he found there surprised him. Alexsandr looked determined emboldened by the idea of attempting to have another child. Could he possibly be that brave Zeb wondered.

The look in Zeb's eyes wasn't unexpected but it hurt more than Alexsandr was prepared for. Zeb was afraid. But more than that Alexsandr found none of the excitement in Zeb's eyes that Alexsandr felt at the idea of having another baby. It may have ended tragically this time but it was something he wanted desperately now that he'd gotten so close to having it.

Neither of them got the chance to comment further however because a voice could suddenly be heard calling from the hall leading to the galley, "Hello? Guys? Anybody home?"

"Sabine!" Ezra said excitedly, bouncing up from his seat to barrel out into the hall to collect her. A minute later the young Mandalorian was being dragged into the bunk room. Greetings and hugs were shared between the other members of the Ghost Crew before Sabine reached the bed where Alexsandr sat. 

When the girl was within arm's reach Alexsandr pulled her into a hug that was immediately returned just as tightly. "Oh Sabine, I've missed you," Alexsandr whispered.

"I've missed you too," pulling back she looked him in the eye intently, "You're pale," she commented seeming to read something in his eyes she looked back at the others, "What's happened?"

"You mean Zeb didn't explain?" Alexsandr asked.

Sabine shook her head turning back to him, "I got the transmission late. I barely got through the part where he asked me to come home before I was packing," she looked at Zeb worriedly, "I'd never heard you sound like that. So I came back as soon as I could."

Zeb seemed to crumble at her words, leaning against the wall with a thud, "Thanks 'Bine. 'M glad you came."

"Oh dear girl," Alexsandr sighed softly, "Yes, thank you. I told Garazeb I wanted our family here together," he took her hand beginning to tear up again, "and here you are. Thank you."

"Of course," she began, "What is going on though? Are you sick? Did you get hurt?"

Alexsandr shook his head quickly and seeing that the others were trying to figure out how to answer he took the opportunity to say, "We've experienced a death in the family."

Sabine turned as if to count the people in the room. Finding all of her found family my present she turned back to Alexsandr, "I don't...what do you mean death…" she trailed off as her eyes settled on the hand resting on Alexsandr's stomach, "You mean you...a baby? ...oh Alex," she leaned in pulling him into a hug that he wasn't prepared for. He grunted in pain and she released him quickly apologizing, "Shab Alex I'm so sorry!" 

"It's quite alright," he managed weakly but his paleness said otherwise. He nodded to Zeb who came over and helped him reposition against the pillows. Sighing deeply he spoke again, "It's been a rather traumatic experience that came to an especially traumatic end today. So it's actually extremely fortunate that you're here now."

"I wish I'd been here the whole time," she replied, "I don't know what I could have done but I feel like I should have been here."

Alexsandr smiled softly, "It's alright 'Bine, really. You're here now," he repeated sleepily.

"Um Sasha," Zeb started unsure of how to bring up the subject on his mind, "Before you fall asleep for good we should probably get you up and cleaned up a bit, maybe throw new sheets on the bed?" He suggested.

Alexsandr sat up with a groan winking at Sabine, "I hate it when he's right."

"It happens so rarely, just let me enjoy it huh?" Zeb teased. 

Sabine stood up to get out of the way as Alex moved slowly to the edge of the bed. "You walking or am I carrying you?" Zeb questioned. 

"Just lend me an arm I think," Alexsandr replied. He stood without much difficulty and began to slowly move toward the door once out in the hall he called back, "Ezra could you bring me," before he could finish the sentence Ezra was behind him, "Towels?" Ezra asked.

"Kid's good," Zeb mused." Alexsandr just smiled in response, focusing on getting to the fresher. Ezra followed with the towels, setting them on the counter saying, "If you need anything else yell."

Zeb helped Alexsandr out of his clothes doing his best to avoid Alexsandr seeing as much of the blood on them as possible. "Will you need, ya know, help...in there," Zeb nodded toward the shower, "I'm not trying to suffocate you but if you need help I'm here." 

Alexsandr smiled, "I sincerely appreciate that, however, I think I'll see how I do by myself. Our first shower should be under happier circumstances."

Zeb cocked an eyebrow at him that was immediately returned. Rolling his eyes he sighed, "Hurry up you." 

Alexsandr chuckled before asking, "You will stay won't you?"

"Of course," Zeb nodded. 

As the water started to run Alexsandr called over the shower door, "We're handling this badly aren't we?"

Zeb sighed from his position on the floor where he was leaned against the counter, "Sasha I don't want to know the right way to go through this. It's pain. It hurts. You deal with pain the best way you can. That's all there is to it."

Alexsandr hummed in agreement, before saying, "I'm sorry, for whatever that's worth, that you missed out. I feel like I took that from you."

Zeb huffed a laugh, "Yeah, to think Ezra knew my kid before I ever did."

"Zeb," Alexsandr started but Zeb had started speaking again, "Maybe it's better this way. I'm no more attached than I'd been the first time."

"You were already attached the first time though, the second we found out," Alexsandr replied. 

Zeb sighed, "Yeah, guess you're right."

Silence stretched out between them them only broken by the sound of the shower running. Suddenly Alexsandr moaned softly immediately drawing Zeb's attention, "Lex? You alright?" The only answer was a thud as Alexsandr's weight landed against the shower wall. Zeb was up and had the shower door open in an instant. 

Alexsandr was pressed against the shower wall his legs in front of him at odd angles. "What happened?" Zeb asked. Alexsandr nodded at the drain silently and Zeb saw that the water was tinged pink with blood. He nodded then understanding, "Are you bleeding again or is that just coming off?"

"Not bleeding but I saw it and went lightheaded," Alexsandr mumbled.

Zeb nodded again, "I'm gonna turn the water off and help you stand. That ok?" Alexsandr nodded. As Zeb reached to turn the water off Alexsandr groaned. A second later his right knee buckled sending him to the ground. Zeb cried out but didn't have time to reach him. Alex caught himself on his hands and balanced on all fours as he regained his bearings. 

"Sasha, you alright?" Zeb asked bending down next to him. Alexsandr nodded shakily. "You think you can stand?" Alexsandr paused a moment before shaking his head. "Can you get yourself sat down?" Moving slowly Alexsandr got into a sitting position on the shower floor. Zeb wrapped a towel around him saying, "I'll be right back."

Zeb walked back into the bunk room to find that Ghost Crew was exactly as Zeb had left them only now Rex was present as well, sharing a joke with Sabine in Mando’a. Zeb noticed the sheets on the bed had been changed and tea and cafe and had been left on the desk as well as a few snacks. Zeb couldn't help but smile. He couldn't imagine going through this without these people by his side. Ezra looked up and noticed him standing there, "Everything ok?"

Zeb blinked to clear his head, "Sorry got lost in my head for a bit. I wanna say...I mean you all don't know how much," his voice began to shake and he bent his head, "Thank you. This is so, so much harder this time around and I honestly don't think we could do it alone. Alex and I are so grateful."

Everyone smiled and nodded except for Kanan who tilted his head, "The shower's not going anymore."

Zeb nodded, "It didn't exactly go well. He's ok," Zeb hurried to explain, "Had a little anxiety and got off balance. His knee ended up going out. I came to bring him clothes and I'm going to need to carry him back in here."

"Do you need help?" Ezra asked at the same time as Hera questioned, "Should we say goodnight and give you some privacy?"

"Thanks but I think we can handle it. I'll give a yell if I change my mind," Zeb replied, "And please stay, he'll want to say goodnight I'm sure." With that Zeb grabbed Alex's sleep clothes and headed back to the refresher. 

Alexsandr had pushed himself against the shower and after drying off, had wrapped the towel around his waist. Zeb walked in immediately apologizing, "Sorry that took so long, everyone's still camped out in our room. They brought food if you're hungry," Alexsandr shook his head and Zeb noticed his eyes were unfocused, "Sasha? You alright?" Alexsandr sat forward and gave a feeble shrug, "I honestly don't know." 

Zeb sat down next to him, "Wanna talk about it?" 

Alexsandr released a shuddering sigh, "All of a sudden my mind won't stop racing. I'm so tired and everything just...hurts." He leaned against Zeb resting his head on Zeb's shoulder, "Zeb?" 

"Hmmm?" Zeb answered.

"I want our baby," Alexsandr mumbled softly. 

Zeb slid an arm around Alexsandr's shoulders, "I do too Sasha. I do too."

Suddenly Alexsandr was curling into him, sobs rolling out one after another and all Zeb could do was hold him as he cried. A knock on the door was followed by the door sliding open to reveal Ghost Crew all standing in the hall, faces full of concern. They piled into the refresher as well as they were able to envelop Alexsandr and Zeb in a group hug. Slowly Alexsandr's sobs faded into sporadic hiccups. In that moment, surrounded by all the love and care of their family Zeb thought they just might make it through this after all. 

Each day after that saw Alexsandr slowly improving. He was less sore, his energy and appetite returned. And those around him were confident that he was healing, especially a few weeks later when he returned to work. But those closest to him knew it was harder on him than he let on. Weeks turned into a month then two and three and only Ghost Crew remained vigilant for any sign of pain or fatigue. Zeb especially seemed to be waiting for Alexsandr to succumb to a panic attack at any moment. 

Unfortunately their vigilance was almost always rewarded. Alexsandr routinely finished a mission or a string of late nights writing reports and was unable to move from his bed the next day. This would invariably heighten his anxiety as well and Zeb had found him on more than one occasion sitting on the floor of the shower crying silently. This led to the crew realizing that something had to be done; Alexsandr had to be made to see that he was in bad shape and that he needed help. The question then became how to go about confronting him. 

They knew it had to be soon, Alexsandr had come back from their last mission in even worse shape than usual. He'd barely made it into the bunk room and collapsed on the bed before spasms started to shake his entire right leg. That's how Ezra had found him, laid back on the bed fists clenched in the sheets as he rode out the pain. He wouldn't allow Ezra to do anything to help and only begrudgingly accepted Zeb's offer to stretch the leg out. As the spasms ended a loud pop sounded and Alexsandr's hip jerked sending him twisting up off the bed. 

This resulted in Alexsandr being forced to rely on his rescue cane. This was the cane he had been given and was supposed to carry with him but never did. For the last week or so he'd not been seen without it. This was another indicator for the crew that Alexsandr needed to reevaluate his condition. So it was that Alex came home from another late shift to find his family waiting on him in the galley.

"What're you all doing up?" Alexsandr queried, "Hera you at the very least should be resting."

Rex and Ezra rolled their eyes at each other as Zeb huffed, "Well if that ain't the pot calling the kettle."

"I beg your pardon," Alexsandr turned from the counter where he'd been pouring himself a mug of caff. As his right leg took his weight he winced barely stifling a groan. 

"How's your leg?" Sabine asked pointedly. 

"Hmmm? Oh no worse than usual," Alexsandr attempted to brush off the question but Zeb wasn't having it.

"Oh come off it Lex," he very nearly growled, "You've been hurting ever since we got back from that last mission." 

Alexsandr leaned against the counter with a sigh, "So that's what this is then, an intervention?"

The others all shared slightly guilty looks as Alexsandr continued, "Well worry not, you're all getting your wish."

"What d'you mean?" Ezra asked. 

"I've been put on leave," Alexsandr replied simply, "Effective immediately, with reinstatement dependent upon my cooperation with the medbay and following a psychiatric evaluation."

"That's a bit extreme ain't it?" Rex asked. 

Alexsandr shook his head, "Not at all really, I've been, well let's just say given my recent performance I expected it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zeb questioned.

"He means command found out what kind of shape he's really in," Kanan cut in, "Right Alex? So what was it? Your leg? Lack of concentration from not sleeping? Or did another panic attack hit you out of the blue?"

Alexsandr glared at the Jedi for a moment before his expression shifted and his eyes drifted shut with a sigh, "All of the above I'm afraid. It had all been piling up but I was certain I had them convinced of my ability. Until today. It came over me in an instant. There wasn't anything I could do. I don't think it lasted long, but when I came back around I was on the floor with my entire section crowded around me."

Alexsandr laughed mirthlessly, "I suppose I should be glad it happened toward the end of the shift. I'd completed my work for the day so when they dismissed me, I just left. So you see, there was no need for you to gang up on me in a show of support. The rebellion, much like the empire, has decided that I've reached the end of my usefulness." With that Alexsandr sat his mug on the counter and turned to limp out of the galley. A moment later they heard the bunk room door slide open and then shut. 

Silence hung in the air for a few minutes before Sabine finally spoke, "Poor Alex." 

Ezra nodded, "He doesn't really believe he's useless right? I mean he knows this isn't over?"

No one answered him but a few minutes later Zeb sighed and stood up, "I'm gonna go check on him," when they all moved to follow he held up his hand, "Best give me a few minutes alone first." Everyone settled back into their spots and watched Zeb walk out of the galley. 

When he reached the bunk room door, instead of going in he called softly, "Sasha, can I come in?" Not hearing a refusal he entered. Alexsandr was sitting on the floor in front of their bed with his right knee bent in front of him. 

Without meeting Zeb's gaze Alexsandr mumbled, "Garazeb, you do know it was your room before it was ever mine?"

Zeb laughed softly, "Yeah guess that's true." He sat down on the floor opposite Alexsandr before speaking again, "Sasha I'm so sorry. If I'd been paying more attention maybe I could have kept this from happening."

Alexsandr smiled softly, "If any of you had been paying more attention to me these past few weeks I think the rebellion might have skidded to a halt."

Zeb laughed at that, "Yeah subtly ain't exactly our strength." Alexsandr rolled his eyes but didn't comment. "Can you blame us though? Alex we're worried about you!"

"You shouldn't," Alexsandr replied, "I'm not worth worrying about. The rebellion doesn't even think so."

"Oh Kriff that!" Zeb cried, "You're acting like they're putting you to death. All they've asked is that you take some time to yourself. Get yourself back together, yeah? Unless there was a date with a firing squad you failed to mention?"

Alexsandr found it increasingly difficult not to smile at Zeb's intentional jabs at him, "No I do not have a date with a firing squad," he said as seriously as he could before cracking up.

"There you see!" Zeb beamed, "You live to fight another day. The rebellion needs you almost as much as I do."

"A lot of good I'm doing either of you," Alexsandr muttered, "I'm a failure."

"Who's calling you a failure," Zeb asked indignantly, "I'll gladly prove them wrong."

In answer Alexsandr raised a hand high in the air. As understanding dawned on Zeb he nodded and scooted around to sit next to Alex. After a minute he spoke softly, "That is tricky. Because by disagreeing with you I'm saying I'm right, which we both know rarely ever happens. But maybe one day with enough reinforcement I'll get you to see things my way. Could take a while though, years even."

Alexsandr looked at him with his eyes wide, "Years? What are you saying?"

Zeb smiled wrapping his arms around Alexsandr's waist and pulling him closer, "I'm saying what I've been saying over and over. You're it Sasha. Forever. How that looks don't make a huge difference to me. Married, not married. Two kids, twenty, maybe just a spare room for Ezra."

Alexsandr laughed at that and only then realized was crying, "Jabba will insist on that regardless I'm sure."

Zeb hummed in agreement before continuing, "All I care about is having you with me. After all this with the rebellion is over, I'm going to spend the rest of our life proving to you how important you are to me." 

"Think I might like the sound of that," Alexsandr replied sleepily.

"Happy to hear it love." Zeb stood and slowly maneuvered Alex on to the bed. He paused before climbing in after him, "One second?" turning he called through the door, "Goodnight all!"

Zeb and Alex both laughed at Ezra's, "Gnight guys!" quickly followed by a thump and, "Ow! Kanan! They obviously knew we were out here! And Zeb said goodnight, I was being polite! Ouch! Sabine!"

As Alexsandr fell asleep in Zeb's arms listening to the fading sounds of his family bickering at each other, he couldn't help but feel at peace. He was finally somewhere it didn't matter what he knew or what skills he had. He was valued for who he was. He was part of a family for the first time in a long time and he was unendingly grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all she (me) wrote...for now. I'm really loving this story and already have a pretty solid idea of where I want to take it. I hope you're along for the ride. PS I just wanted to say thank you again to my readers. Your views and kudos mean so much to me! Feel free to comment as well, I'd love to hear from you. You can also find me on tumblr @bifinmediasres. 
> 
> Until next time!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being away for so long! This isn't a terribly long chapter but I hope it will hold you over for a little while. A huge thank you to everyone who's read, commented and left kudos. It means so much to me that you all are enjoying this story. I'm having a great time writing it.

"What is it that you want? What are your goals? What do you hope to accomplish?" 

These were the questions Alexsandr found himself facing at the end of his first meeting with the therapist he'd been assigned. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been daunted by them at first, but that's where his therapist came in. She was a kind woman, very open and welcoming with a ready smile that reached all the way to her rich brown eyes. Her name was Marina and as kind and loving as she first appeared, she took her job very seriously. In the weeks since Alexsandr had been seeing her she continuously worked to balance that loving attitude with dedication to help him reach the goals he set for himself. 

Initially the question and answer portion of their visits went like this:

"What is it that you want?", Marina asked. 

"To be of use," Alexsandr replied simply. 

"What are your goals?"she queried. 

"To win the rebellion," he answered almost immediately. 

Marina quirked an eyebrow at this but declined to comment. Instead, she continued, asking, "What do you hope to accomplish?"

Alex started to respond but seemed to change his mind asking, "Didn't I just answer that?"

Marina smiled, "Captain Kallus, I'm sorry would it be alright if I called you Alexsandr?"  
He nodded, and she continued, "Thank you, it's a name shared by a dear friend. Alexsandr, it is the goal of every person in this rebellion to see it succeed. That's what we're all here for. So, it makes sense that is the goal you have your mind set on. But what I'm asking is what do you want to do with your life after that happens? What will you do with your life if it doesn't? What do you want your life to mean?"

He leaned back in his chair as she went on, "I'd like for you to begin consciously considering the answers to these questions. Come up with several if you can. And try to consider long and short term, as well as the things you hope to do regardless of the outcome of the rebellion. It's easy to align yourself with a goal or an outcome or even a person and frame your view of the future around that. But it's important to remember that you're the only constant in your life."

Alexsandr had been ruminating on that initial conversation for the last few weeks. He'd come to several conclusions, not all of them to his liking. For one, he realized how truthful he'd been when he'd told Marina that he just wanted to be of use. That had been his base drive for as long as he could remember. He wanted to be useful, whether that was working for the Empire, as part of the rebellion or doing something else, that's what he wanted. 

He did have to admit he'd given the party line saying his goal was to win the rebellion. Marina was right, that was everyone's goal here. So, what were his other goals? The more he thought about it, he realized why he'd struggled to give another answer. What Alexsandr wanted more than anything was peace. 

Not universal peace, or not only that, but peace in himself. He wanted to be done with the regrets and the failures of his past and to stop carrying that weight around with him. Granted he had been working at it and had made significant progress in his time with the rebellion. But it still crept up on him from time to time and if he was honest with himself all Alexsandr wanted was to feel at peace. 

As for what he wanted to accomplish, that presented a problem. Because again Marina was right. Alexsandr found that the bonds he'd created, the relationships he'd made, were tied inextricably with his long term goals. Along with peace, what he wanted more than anything was safety for himself and happiness for the people he cared about. He wanted to build a life where he could live simply and enjoy time with his family, and he hoped, grow that family. 

The subject of growing that family was an extremely touchy one however. The more time passed after the miscarriage the more closed off Zeb had become. And on the few occasions Alexsandr had attempted to bring up trying for another baby he'd been met with what he'd call nearly open hostility. It was as if Zeb, overnight had decided he was completely against Alex getting pregnant again. This forced Alexsandr to consider Marina's words yet again as he realized Zeb's place in his life might not be the constant he once believed it to be.

That wasn't to say Alexsandr had given up hope of a life with Zeb. He was more than willing to admit that a family could be made in a million ways that didn't involve having a baby. But he couldn't shake the feeling deep in his core that told him they were meant to have a child of their own. Getting Zeb to realize it was going to be the difficult part. But Alexsandr was trying his best to remain cautiously optimistic. 

With this in mind, he returned from his latest appointment with Marina intent on trying to speak to Zeb yet again. Alex found him unloading the supplies they'd gotten on the latest run, lifting the large crates seemingly effortlessly. Alexsandr stood watching for a moment, caught up in the way Zeb's muscles bunched and rippled under the deep purple fur of his back. He couldn't help the awe that came over him thinking of the strength of those muscles. Shaking himself he walked toward Zeb quickly.

"Garazeb," he began getting the Lasat's attention, "Good morning, how are you?"

Zeb heaved the last crate high over his head where it landed on top of the stack with a crash, "Mornin' Kal, 'm alright. You good?" Alexsandr cringed at the truncated version of his surname, lately a sign that Zeb was in a foul mood.

Regardless Alexsandr was determined to press on, "I'm well," he assured, "Do you have some free time this afternoon?"

"You feel like sparring again finally?"Zeb asked nodding, "Yeah I could make time."

Alexsandr shook his head, "Actually I was hoping we could talk."

Zeb's demeanor immediately changed, "Sorry, busy."

"But you just said,"Alexsandr started before Zeb cut him off roughly, "I know what I said. But I'm busy, sorry Kal." 

Zeb turned to walk into the Ghost, and Alex yelled after him, "Garazeb, when are you going to face this? Face me?"

Zeb stopped in his tracks and turned glaring at Alex, "What'd you just say?" He asked. 

Alexsandr stood his ground, taking note of the crowd they were starting to attract. Clearing his throat he spoke evenly, "I said face me."

Zeb walked toward him until they were barely a foot apart and squared off in front of Alex. Alexsandr briefly considered the possibility that they'd end up coming to blows right here in the training yard. As he was going over his limited options should that happen Zeb spoke again, "Face you? Or face what I did to you? Because I've been trying to do both," his voice cracked as tears pooled in his eyes, "I've done it every day for months." A mirthless laugh fell from Zeb's lips, "And you know what? It's not gettin' any easier. Might not ever, because I can't change what happened. But I can make sure it doesn't happen again and by the Ashla I'm gonna." 

With that Zeb closed the gap between them and moved past Alexsandr shoving him roughly. Alexsandr was so surprised by the exchange and the following impact, he couldn't brace himself properly. He ended up flat on his back in the dirt with the wind knocked out of him. Looking up half a moment later he saw Ezra and Sabine standing over him. He continued to lay there blinking slowly as they knelt down to help him sit up.

"I know we're doing that whole no swearing with the baby coming and all," Ezra started gripping Alex's hand tightly as he pulled him into a sitting position, "but what the sith was that about?"

Alexsandr grinned, "I won't tell Hera you swore as long as you keep quiet about that little interaction, deal?" He turned to Sabine who had busied herself dusting his jacket off and brushing his hair, "Dear girl," he smiled taking her hands in his, "Darling Bine, I'm fine, sincerely, thank you."

She pursed her lips in frustration, "Nothing about that was fine Alex. Zeb has a serious problem."

Alexsandr sighed, "I'm afraid you're right. And I think his problem is me."

Ezra shook his head, "I don't think so. You heard him, he clearly thinks what happened is somehow his fault."

Alexsandr shook his head, "But that's simply not true. Unless he thinks...Karabast!" Alexsandr's eyes widened, "Garazeb thinks the baby being half Lasat caused my miscarriage." He reached out to both Ezra and Sabine somewhat frantically, "Help me up, quickly! I need to prove him wrong, he has to know he's not at fault. Oh Garazeb, beautiful fool Lasat."

Sabine and Ezra shared confused looks as they hauled Alex to his feet. Ezra asked, "Exactly how do you plan on proving him wrong?" 

"For starters I'll go back to all the research you did months ago," Alexsandr replied, "There has to be something in there I can at least use to convince him." 

Straightening his jacket Alexsandr moved to take a step forward only to have his right leg collapse under him and throw him to the ground again. Pain surged through the entire limb unlike any he'd felt before. Fighting to stay conscious he tried to speak only to have a moan escape from his lips. Ezra and Sabine were back at his side in an instant, and he didn't hesitate to grip both hands he was offered. 

"Alex, what happened?" Sabine cried, "What's wrong?"

Gritting his teeth against the pain he answered, "Feels like my leg is broken all over again. It just went out from under me." He cut off in a groan instinctively curling in on himself.

Sabine moved closer pillowing his head in her lap. Turning to Ezra she ordered, "Go and get a medic, explain what's happened. I'll stay with him." Ezra nodded before heading off leaving Sabine to do her best to soothe Alexsandr, running her fingers through his hair and rubbing his back. 

A short time later a familiar voice cut the haze of Alexsandr's pain, "Well if it isn't my favorite rebel captain." Alexsandr cracked an eye open to see the medic he'd dealt with in the past approaching with a repulsorlift. As he was lifted off the ground he attempted a smirk, "Remind me of your name kid."

The medic laughed, "It's Whil, Captain Kallus sir."

Alexsandr nodded stiffly, "Alex will suffice I assure you. Always seem to be around when I need you, good man Whil." And with that he promptly lost consciousness. 

A short time later Alexsandr had been brought into a room in the medbay. Bev was looking over a scan of his leg her brow furrowing more and more every second. Sabine and Ezra sat on either side of Alexsandr's bed each still holding one of his hands. They waited quietly for Bev to speak. 

"I don't think this should even be possible," the doctor breathed.

"Is that like this is so great it shouldn't even be possible?" Ezra asked hopefully. One look at her face gave him his answer, "Shab," he murmured, turning to Alex who remained unconscious in the bed.

"Alexsandr's leg is broken," Bev began slowly, "There are several breaks, two in the lower leg, one in each bone and one in the femur." She paused and allowed that to sink in before asking, "What was he doing just before this happened?"

Ezra chimed in before Sabine could stop him, "Nothing! He'd been sitting on the ground and I pulled him to his feet. He tried to take a step and collapsed."

Bev nodded, her mind obviously working quickly, "And he'd been sitting on the ground because?"

Ezra's eyes went wide, "Huh? Oh! He, heh he fell when uh…," he dropped his gaze mumbling, "When Zeb pushed him down."

"Alexsandr and Captain Orrelios fought?" Bev asked her voice rising, "He's not been cleared for that sort of thing!"

Sabine jumped in at this point, "Ma'am they weren't sparring, Zeb got angry and shoved him."

"Sabine!" Ezra yelled.

"What would you have me do? Lie?," Sabine cried indignantly, "These are our friends Ezra, our family! I can't just sit by and watch them hurt each other!" Sabine sat back wiping a tear from her eye. Suddenly she felt her other hand being gripped. Looking over she saw Alex smiling softly at her with tears in his own eyes. 

"Thank you Bine," Alexsandr whispered, "I appreciate that more than you can know." Turning to Bev he cleared his throat roughly and addressed the doctor, "Bev am I on a terribly large dose of pain medication?"

She nodded, "Not the highest possible but I thought it appropriate given the circumstances."

Alexsandr sighed, "I was afraid of that."

Bev turned back to his chart asking, "Is there a problem? You don't have any drug allergies we're aware of."

Alexsandr shook his head, "Not allergies per se, more like intolerances." When she didn't seem to understand he clarified, "By and large pain medication has no effect on me other than clouding my judgment or knocking me out completely. But as far as treating the pain nothing works."

She crossed her arms and stared at him head on, "Alexsandr are you...as far as you know, intolerant to any other types of medication?"

He laughed quietly before it ended in a groan, "Medics with the ships I served on always commented I didn't take to Bacta very well. One even said something to the effect that it might stop working on me one day."

Bev stood quietly for a moment before muttering, "Welcome to one day."

Alexsandr attempted to sit up straighter only to cry out when that caused the pain in his leg to spike, "Bev are you actually telling me my leg re broke itself?"

She nodded again, "In both areas."

"Well that at least makes sense," Alexsandr reasoned, "The break I got on Bahryn was clean across both bones."

"And your femur?" Bev asked, "There's no mention of that happening anywhere in the medical history we have on you." She'd been looking at his chart again but when Bev looked back up at Alexsandr he'd gone completely white. "Alex? Are you alright?"

Ezra and Sabine had moved closer to Alex when they saw the color leave his face, so they heard his reply before Bev, "Onderon, he murmured. "Saw Gerrera's Lasat mercenary broke my leg and left me for dead after he killed my platoon on Onderon."

The flashback came over Alexsandr as if he were reliving something that had happened weeks ago not decades. He was immediately pulled back to the middle of battle. The haze of smoke thick in the air, the smell of blood filling his nose. He could feel his face pressed into the mud where he laid on the ground, heat pressing down on him. All around him the cries of the wounded, his platoon, filled his ears. 

Suddenly he felt himself being rolled onto his back as a figure loomed over him obscured by the shadow they created by blocking the sun. They quickly bent down however and Alex was able to see a face clearly. A Lasat, at least he thought that's what they were called, leaned over him, a cocky smile on his face as he spoke, "You're their leader ain't ya Imp? Well, don't you worry, I'm not gonna kill you. Gotta keep you alive so you can tell your people what happened here."

The Lasat stood and moved around to Alexsandr's right side. Turning, he reached behind him and pulled a weapon off his back the likes of which Alexsandr had never seen before. Lifting it over his head he locked eyes with Alexsandr and grinned before bringing it down on Alexsandr's leg, breaking his femur. Alexsandr screamed and immediately succumbed to the pain, losing consciousness. However, the Lasat had other plans, and he found himself forced back to reality by several swift kicks to his midsection. 

The Lasat leaned back down one last time whispering, "You stay awake now. Wouldn't want you to miss the rest of the fun." And with that he began moving through Alexsandr's platoon, slowly and methodically killing each member of the platoon either by slitting throats or firing a single blast from the end of his weapon. 

The sound it made as well as his troops cries filled his ears. Many of them cried out for their gods, some for their mothers. But the ones that broke him were those that cried out for him, as he lay there unable to move, helpless to stop what was happening.

"Commander Kallus!"

"Alexsandr please!"

"Alex, help me!"

"Don't let me die Alexsei!"

Alexsei, a pet name from one of his comrades, fitting it was the last thing that he heard before Alexsandr lost his grip on consciousness. 

Alexsei! Wait there it was again, who was calling him this time? He fought consciousness not wanting to wake up back in that hell. Alexsei! Again, who was that? Why wouldn't they leave him alone. Why not let him die in peace?

"Are you kidding? And have Zeb murder me? No, thank you," Ezra's voice cut through the remaining fog as Alex opened his eyes and tried to process where he was. He could feel the bed beneath him. And he was aware of his hands being held on either side by Ezra and Sabine. He could smell the astringent antiseptic and hear the whir and beep of various machines. He was alive, a fact that would have pleased him Immensely if not for the pain in his leg and the bright lights overhead, the combination of which was making him involuntarily curl into a ball and cover his head. 

"I got it!" Sabine's voice reached him through the pillow covering his face. She quickly crossed the room and flipped a switch on the wall dimming the lights.

"Vor entye vod," Alexsandr panted, smiling gratefully at the girl. 

She smiled at him moving to stand next to his bed again, "Gar're olarom vod."

Ezra moved to sit on the bed, "How can you come out of a flashback that intense speaking perfect Mando'a? I struggle with the basics on a good day."

"You struggle with Basic on a good day," Alexsandr teased.

"This is true," Ezra admitted. 

"If we can dispense with the banter for a moment," Bev interjected, "Alexsandr are you alright?"

"I am," Alexsandr answered her, "Thank you, Bev."

Although she looked unsure she continued, "Repairing your leg could be difficult. I'd like to consult with some of my colleagues as far as how best to continue. For now let's focus on pain relief-" Alexsandr looked about to interrupt, but she stopped him, "I know you said pain medication has little to no effect on you, a fact I find extremely troubling given I've prescribed it to you fairly recently," she paused looking at him pointedly, "but there are other methods."

"Such as?" He asked with interest. 

"How would you feel about taking an increased dose of a selective serotonin re uptake inhibitor?" She asked.

"A who what now?" Ezra blurted in confusion. 

Alexsandr squeezed his hand and shushed him. Looking at Bev he asked incredulously, "Is such an archaic method as altering my brain chemistry actually viable in this situation?"

"Well yes," she replied, "More so than anything else at this point." She continued, "And in any case you may be looking at lots of archaic healing methods in the future given your newly developed intolerance to this century's heal-all." 

Alexsandr narrowed his eyes considering whether or not Bev's tone was intentionally challenging and was in the process of formulating a pithy reply when a bolt of pain shot up his leg causing him to flinch and grip Ezra's hand tightly. 

Letting out a breath he sighed, "Very well. But if it's all the same to you, don't tell Marina?"

Turning to leave Bev smiled over her shoulder, "Alexsandr I have to update your therapist on your new medication, you know that." And with that she left them.

Alexsandr leaned back against the pillows grumbling, "Karabast she's irksome when she gets her way."

Sabine smirked, "You're just mad that someone's making you do something to take care of yourself."

Alexsandr crossed his arms still bent on pouting, "And?"

Ezra laughed, "Well if you're going to sit here in a foul mood, we've got work to do." Standing up he nodded at the door motioning for Sabine to follow. She stood and hugged Alexsandr quickly, kissing him on the cheek before leaving. Ezra followed but turned back at the door. Rushing to the bed he wrapped Alexsandr in a tight hug saying, "Kar'taylir darasuum gar vod."

Alexsandr was too stunned to reply. Instead, he silently wrapped his fingers around the comm Ezra dropped in his hand. Once back at the door Ezra winked and waved before leaving Alexsandr alone.

Back outside the temple Ezra and Sabine ran into Zeb working on repairs to one of their shuttles. Stopping his work he waved at the pair who reluctantly walked over to him.

"You two sure are looking glum," Zeb commented. "What's up?"

Sabine didn't answer only glared at Zeb before turning to Ezra and saying, "If you need me, I'll be on the Ghost," and walking away. 

Zeb swung out from under the craft and sat up to look at Ezra, "Am I crazy or is she mad at me?"

"Nope, she's mad," Ezra squatted down next to the Lasat, "I wouldn't be talking to you right now either but-"

"What is with everybody today?" Zeb cried indignantly, "First Lex now you two, by the Ashla!"

Ezra sat stunned, "Wait, you can't honestly think Alex started all that earlier? Seriously?"

Zeb rubbed his hands on a rag not looking Ezra in the eye, "No I know, that was all me," Zeb sighed heavily, "Karabast I can't believe I actually shoved him, like some schoolyard bully. Laid him flat!" Zeb rubbed both hands down his face in frustration, "Ezra, what is wrong with me?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you," Ezra answered, "I do think you have a lot to work out and for that to happen you're going to have to talk to Alex."

Zeb groaned standing up, "I really hate it when you go all wise Jedi on me y'know? Gets really annoying." He grinned, "But don't let that stop you."

Ezra laughed, "Yeah ok noted, now go talk to your boyfriend."

Zeb looked around a moment before asking, "You wouldn't happen to know where Lex's gotten off to would ya?"

"Sabine and I were just with him actually," Ezra answered, "We had to take him to the medbay earlier."

"You what?" Zeb turned to face him quickly.

"Aw kriff." Ezra muttered. 

Alexsandr woke from a fitful nap to the sound of raised voices in the medbay lobby. Before he could make out who they belonged to the door opened as Whil stepped inside hurriedly. Before the door shut completely Alexsandr caught what he thought was a glimpse of striped purple fur.

Confirming his suspicions Whil commented, "Captain Orrelios is outside causing quite a stir."

"Is he?" Alexsandr asked showing as little interest as possible, "Why's that?"

"Probably because he's not being allowed to see you," Whil laughed softly as he busied himself tidying up the room and checking various readouts. "How's your pain level?" He asked. 

Alexsandr thought for a moment before answering, "Considering the three broken bones? It's manageable." This caused Whil to roll his eyes. "Alright, fine I'm in pain!" Alexsandr groused, "Happy?"

"You know the answer to that by now I hope," Whil said seriously.

"I do," Alexsandr nodded, "I'm sorry my friend. In truth, I am in less pain than I would have thought, and definitely less than before being given the medication." 

"That's good!" Whil smiled, "I'll let Bev know as soon as she's done reading your lover the riot act."

Alexsandr looked toward the door sadly before shaking his head. "I may live to regret this," he started, "but will you tell her I said it's alright if he wants to see me? She can set a time limit if she wants." Seeing the concern on the medic's face he added, "Please, I really think I need to do this."

Whil shrugged, "It's your call. I'll let her know." Before he opened the door, he turned back to Alex, "Good luck." Alexsandr nodded and watched as the door closed, leaving him alone again. 

A few moments later the raised voices quieted only to start up again before stopping completely. Alex heard footsteps followed by hushed voices whispering back and forth just outside the door. He found himself holding his breath and forced himself to breathe normally but continued to fidget nervously with the blanket that covered his legs.

When the door opened Zeb stood rooted to the spot looking as if he wished the floor would swallow him up. Ezra, standing next to him, didn't look much better. For several moments no one moved or spoke. Silence stretched out between them finally broken as Zeb shook himself and whispered, "Hullo Sasha." 

Hearing Zeb use that pet name caused warmth to spread through Alexsandr's chest, and he smiled, "Hello Garazeb. I'm glad you came."

"Ya are?" Zeb cocked his head to the side, his ears twitching nervously.

Alexsandr nodded slowly, "Of course, especially since I thought you were going to get thrown out of the medbay," he smirked.

Ezra looked up suddenly, "All that woke you up? Alexsei I'm," he paused abruptly as if embarrassed, "We should leave you to rest."

"No wait," Alexsandr called, leaning forward only to stop short as pain coursed through his leg. "Karabast!" He groaned, leaning back against the pillows. 

"Sasha!" Zeb cried, moving into the room. He turned to bring the lights up but Ezra stopped him shaking his head. Together they moved to either side of the bed each taking one of Alexsandr's hands in theirs. 

Ezra noticed that Alexsandr was becoming glassy eyed and cursed, "Karabast not again." Moving closer he tried to get Alex to focus on him saying, "I need you to stay with me Alex, alright? You hear me Alexsei?" Alexsandr's breathing started to become erratic. Zeb stood to go for help but Ezra held a hand up telling him to wait as he kept trying to reach Alexsandr. "You're safe. You're on Yavin IV remember? Remember Ghost crew? He asked, getting somewhat desperate, "Hera and Sabine and Zeb," finally Alex reacted.

"Ze- Garazeb?" Alexsandr mumbled.

"That's right," Zeb nodded taking Alexsandr's hand again and sitting next to him. " 'm right here. Come back to us Sasha."

Ezra smiled, "We're here. Come back to us brother." 

"Brother?" Alexsandr asked quietly as a face flashed through his mind, but was gone before he could focus on it. Blinking he opened his eyes to see Ezra staring at him worriedly. Without a word he pulled the Jedi into a tight hug.

Ezra returned the hug looking at Zeb over Alexsandr's shoulder, relief evident on both their faces. Slowly he let go of Alexsandr enough to lean him back gently. "Was that another flashback?" He asked. 

Alexsandr shook his head, "No, but very nearly. If I hadn't been as grounded I-," he paused. Taking both of their hands again he murmured, "Thank you both."

"Flashback?" Zeb asked. "What's causing you flashbacks all of a sudden?"

Alexsandr grimaced as he threw back one side of the blanket covering his lap. "If I had to guess, this," he gestured to where a temporary splint had immobilized his right leg. 

Zeb sucked in a breath, "Karabast! Did I...did I do this knocking you over?"

"Probably," Ezra muttered but Alexsandr silenced him with a look.

Turning to Zeb he explained, "I collapsed when Ezra and Sabine tried to help me up after," he trailed off before starting again, "It was nothing more than inconvenient coincidence Garazeb, I swear."

Ezra cut in quietly, "I'm going to give you two some space. If you need me, I'll be in the lobby." And with that he left quickly.

Zeb sat back in his seat heavily as Alex continued, "Bev says the Bacta that had previously mended the breaks is gone, dissolved or worn away. So there are fresh fractures in both my upper and lower leg."

Zeb whirled to look at Alex, "Upper and lower you said?" He stood quickly, "I should go, 'm the last person you need here right now."

"Zeb what can you possibly mean by that?" Alexsandr asked. 

Zeb hung his head, "If the breaks are causing your flashbacks, either they're of Bahryn or," he didn't finish the thought. Sighing he started again, "Either way having me around is a reminder you don't need." He turned and was about to open the door when Alexsandr spoke.

"That's not true!" Alexsandr cried.

Zeb spun to face Alexsandr shouting, "It is! I'm causing your flashbacks to happen; I'm probably the reason your leg is broken again!" Suddenly he seemed to deflate and Alex could barely hear what he said next, "And I'm the reason we can't have a baby." He turned back to the door, prepared to leave but Alexsandr's voice stopped him. 

"Garazeb I don't know where this sudden fixation on being the cause of all of my pain comes from but it has to stop." Biting back a sob he continued, "Know that if you walk away this time you'll have caused me pain only you can claim."

The door opened but instead of walking through Zeb stopped. Holding a hand up to either side of the door frame, he spoke softly, "I love you Sasha," and with that he left Alexsandr alone in the dimly lit room in the medbay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes: 
> 
> (Alex to Sabine) 
> 
> Vor entye vod 
> 
> Thank you sister
> 
> (Sabine to Alex) 
> 
> Gar're olarom vod 
> 
> You're welcome brother 
> 
> (Ezra to Alex) 
> 
> Kar'taylir darasuum gar vod 
> 
> I love you brother


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry again for the wait! Chapter 13 is here, another fairly short one but hopefully it lives up to your expectations. I'm so glad I was able to get this out for Rebels Remembered! Huge thanks as always to everyone who reads and leaves kudos/comments. It means a ton. And a special shout out to my pals in the Kalluzeb fandom on Tumblr for keeping stoked to write. I'm still in love with this story and these characters and I hope that's evident in the writing. Feel free to chat with me in the comments or over on Tumblr @bifinmediasres, thanks for reading!

As much of a shock as their last conversation had been, Alexsandr still expected Zeb to come back, that they would make up and put the last few months behind them. But days turned into a week, turned into two and still Zeb didn't come back. He didn't even call on the comm to see how Alexsandr's recovery was going. 

Alex attributed that to Ezra keeping him informed. He'd been there every spare moment he could. He spent hours talking with Alex and watching movies or just napping. This began as Ezra watching him sleep from his chair. But eventually Alexsandr admitted that he could relax more with someone laying with him.

He'd been embarrassed by this initially, but one afternoon his pain was particularly intense and he so badly needed to rest. He rushed to say that Ezra didn't have to do anything he wasn't comfortable with. But he stopped mid sentence as he watched the Jedi slipping out of his shoes and jacket to join him on the bed. 

"If it would make you feel awkward you don't...have. Oh," Alexsandr smiled down at the Jedi as he curled up next to him.

"No funny business, got it?" Ezra smirked. 

"Cross my heart," Alexsandr promised drawing an x on his chest with one finger, "But truly, if you're not comfortable with this you don't have to."

"Alexsei?" Ezra craned his neck to meet the other man's eyes, "Go to sleep."

Alex huffed a laugh as he settled against the pillows, "That reminds me, where'd you come up with Alexsei all of a sudden," he asked already starting to doze off. 

Ezra was in a similar state and mumbled, "Caught it when I was trying to pull you out of that flashback.” Not wanting to worry Alex, he hurried to explain, “It wasn’t like I was in the flashback with you. I just caught a few words. D'you mind it?"

Alexsandr smiled sleepily, "Not at all, I've always liked it, especially from people I love."

That pulled Ezra back to consciousness a little, "Someone you love...so someone you loved was on…" He left the sentence unfinished, instead wrapping Alexsandr in a half hug where his arm lay across the other man's torso. 

Alexsandr returned the embrace with the arm curled around Ezra's back, "I loved him, very much, more than my own brother in many ways" he whispered, now more awake himself. "We were like brothers, but so much more than that. I still miss him to this day."

“You’ve never mentioned having a brother,” Ezra mumbled half asleep again.

“Yes, well,” Alex whispered, “That’s a story for another day.”

Several moments passed before Ezra spoke again. Snuggling closer to Alexsandr he murmured, " 'm glad you’ve had people to care about you, and that you have more people who love you now." 

Alex grinned down at the top of Ezra's head, "So am I." A few moments later both of them were sound asleep. 

Hours later Ezra wandered into the galley of the Ghost to find Kanan, Hera and Zeb sitting around the table talking quietly. Kanan glanced up when he heard his padawan enter, "They finally kick you out of the medbay?"

Ezra laughed, "Nah but Alex needed to rest. He's been having a rough time with pain."

"How's his progress?" Hera asked. 

"Good," Ezra assured her, "It's just slow. They want to avoid surgery if possible. But in the meantime they're having trouble keeping his pain under control."

"You've been keeping him company a lot," Zeb commented, "Guess you're getting pretty close."

Ezra bristled, "That a problem?"

"Did I say it was?" Zeb shot back, "Aw never mind, none of my business anyway." He swung up out of his seat and turned to rinse his mug and plate in the sink.

Ezra turned back to Kanan and Hera, "Usually we watch movies for a few hours or sit and talk. But today all we did was sleep together."

The plate and mug Zeb had been washing hit the bottom of the sink with a crash. Leaving the water running, Zeb turned and left the galley without a word to the others. Ezra watched him leave and then huffed, "What was that about I wonder."

Getting up from her seat slowly Hera went to turn off the faucet before answering, "It may have something to do with the fact that you just said you slept with his ex boyfriend." 

Ezra turned to Kanan panicking, "But that's not what I meant! A nap! We took a...oh Kriff Zeb's going to kill me isn't he?" 

Laughing Kanan stood up and joined Hera, "Relax, even if that's where his mind went initially he'll realize what you meant." He reached out to stroke Hera's rounded middle as he continued, "And if he doesn't he'll go freak out at Alex and Alex will explain it."

Stopping mid motion he gasped, "Hera!"

No sooner had he spoken Hera cried out clutching her stomach. Placing his other hand over hers Kanan asked, "Now will you let me take you to the medbay? You've been in labor for hours."

"What do you mean hours?" Ezra cried, "Why haven't you taken her to the medbay yet?"

Hera shook her head panting, "Not until my water," she was interrupted by an audible pop and gush of fluid.

Kanan couldn't hold back his smirk, "You were saying?"

"Jarrus I'm going to," the rest of Hera's sentence was lost in a groan as the contraction intensified. 

"Marry me and live happily ever after?" Kanan supplied, "A fantastic idea Captain Syndulla." Grinning he ushered both Hera and Ezra out of the ship. When they reached the medbay they found Zeb in what appeared to be a heated argument with the medic Whil. 

"I still don't understand why I can't see him!" Zeb growled. 

Holding his ground Whil answered, "I've been instructed not to let Captain Kallus have any visitors that might cause him stress and right now that list begins and ends with you." 

Hearing this Ezra could help but sneer, "Yeah no kidding."

Spinning Zeb pointed a finger at him yelling, "Look here loth rat," but stopped when he saw Kanan and Hera, "What're you two- wait.. the baby?" Hera could only nod in response before Zeb was speaking again, "Karabast I'm in the way, sorry Hera," as he stepped back hurriedly, allowing the medic to lead the Captain and her Jedi to a room. As they walked away Zeb called, "Hey Kanan, good luck!"

Kanan smiled and called back, "Thanks buddy, you two behave!"

Ezra pushed past Zeb and walked into the small waiting room. Zeb being at a loss for what else to do, followed. Once inside each took a seat as far from the other as possible and they sat in silence. 

Finally Zeb couldn't take the quiet anymore and asked, "So you and Lex," but before he could say more Ezra cut him off.

"Me and Alexsei nothing," he started firmly, "Earlier what I meant was we literally slept together, as in took a nap at the same time."

Zeb stared at him blankly for a moment before bursting out, "I knew that! Karabast I didn't think you meant you," Zeb paused and seemed to change his mind about what he was going to say before continuing, "That's not why I left."

Ezra stood up and walked across the room to sit beside Zeb asking, "You mean you didn't barge off at the thought of us Kriffing?"

Zeb stiffened immediately and muttered, "Kid, it's takin' everything in me to talk to you about this. Please don't say you were Kriffing." 

"I'm trying to tell you we weren't!" Ezra blurted. 

"I know!" Zeb cried, "I know, and I believe ya. But Karabast Ezra yer young enough to be my kid!"

Ezra shrugged, "Only barely, I'm almost nineteen."

Zeb smiled at that, "Yeah I know. You're not that little loth rat punk we picked up all those years ago. You grew up on me, brother." 

Ezra grinned and elbowed Zeb who returned the favor and for several minutes they sat gently shoving each other and laughing before Ezra remembered something, "Hey wait, why did you barge off earlier?"

Zeb ducked his head his ears twitching nervously as he mumbled, "It's embarrassin'."

"C'mon, look who you're talking to," Ezra coaxed.

Zeb let out a breath slowly before answering, "I was mad and I guess jealous?" Ezra looked like he was going to interject but Zeb stopped him, "I know, nothin' happened. Even if it did 't's not my place t' be upset. An' that's what I was mad about I think. I realized I'm not the person he goes to for comfort."

Ezra sat quietly for a minute before saying, "Yeah well that's your own fault."

Zeb blinked in surprise, "Excuse me?"

Ezra huffed, "Well it's not like Alexsei was the one who walked away. I know you think you're doing the right thing, but all you're doing is making both of you miserable." 

Zeb grimaced and shook his head, "Lex wants to have a baby, and trying to have one with me has proven to be a disaster. So the obvious answer is for him to find someone else."

Ezra sighed in exasperation, "He only wants to have a baby with you! And did it ever occur to you the reason it hasn't worked out is due to other factors? Being in the middle of a war, constant high levels of stress, poor nutrition...do I need to go on?"

"Of course all that occurred to me," Zeb growled. Then he sighed heavily, "But after what that doctor said a few months back I figured it had to have something to do with me."

Before Ezra could respond he was interrupted by Whil entering the waiting room, "Sorry to butt in, the baby will be here anytime now, so if you want you can go wait in Captain Kallus' room," he leveled a glare at Zeb continuing, "If you can be civilized."

Zeb nodded nervously as they stood, "Sure thing, thanks mate."

"Think we'll wake him up?" Zeb asked as they reached Alexsandr's room. 

Ezra shrugged, "If he's asleep we can just let him rest and come back later."

Entering the room they found Alexsandr was in fact awake and appeared to be in distress. When he saw Ezra, Alexsandr reached out and attempted to sit up only to slump against the pillows with a groan. Zeb and Ezra ran to either side of the bed. Holding his hand tightly Ezra tried to get Alex to focus on him, "Alexsei what happened? What's wrong? Hey, Alex stay with me alright?"

Zeb dropped to his knees and took Alexsandr's other hand in his and carded his fingers through his hair with the other, "Karabast he's burning up, help me get his shirt off kid." 

As they moved to sit him up Alexsandr seemed to come back around. Blinking at Zeb he whispered, "Garazeb? 'm I dreaming?" 

Zeb grinned crookedly, "No Sasha, I'm here love." 

Alexsandr's eyes closed and he sighed contentedly before curling in on himself groaning, "Think I'm going to be sick." But the warning came too late. No sooner had Ezra picked up the trash can, Alexsandr proceeded to vomit down the front of his t shirt and on to the blanket covering his legs. 

Zeb still held one of Alexsandr's hands and wasted no time gently pulling him forward until he could reach behind him and get a hold of the bottom of his shirt. As he pulled it up Alexsandr moaned softly causing Zeb to pause and ask, "More?" Alexsandr only nodded before vomiting again. When he'd finished Zeb quickly got him out of the t shirt while Ezra moved to start pulling the blanket off the bed, placing the trash can in front of Alex as he did so. 

Once all that had been done Alexsandr was situated back against the pillows with the sheet covering his lower half. Moving some of the damp hair off Alex's forehead Zeb asked, "Want some help with that?"

"Pardon?" Alexsandr asked blearily. In answer Zeb stood and deftly scooped Alexsandr's hair up at the back of his head and put it in a knot using a band he slipped off his wrist. Ezra didn't comment on the fact that he apparently still wore Alex's spare hair bands, but he couldn't help but smile. 

When he was done Zeb surveyed his handiwork nodding, "Not the best I've done but it'll do."

Alexsandr grinned running a hand over his considerable beard growth , "It's appreciated, thank you," catching Ezra's eye he nodded, "Both of you. I'm sorry you had to see all of that. I'm feeling rather awful at the moment."

"No kidding," Ezra smirked, "Anything else going on aside from all the puke?"

"And the fever," Zeb added. 

Alexsandr groaned leaning back against the pillows, "I hurt...pretty much everywhere I think." He ran his hands over his face again and blinked rapidly, "and my vision keeps going blurry. Though that could just as easily be the fever as the headache I currently have." 

"Or the lack of sleep," Zeb mused.

Alexsandr fixed Ezra with a glare, "Informing on me I see."

Ezra moved sit on the side of the bed careful not to jostle Alexsandr's leg saying, "Well somebody has to be the go between and Sabine can still barely be in the same room as Zeb." 

Alexsandr turned to Zeb asking, "Is that true?"

Zeb sighed, "Yep she's in no uncertain terms told me to...get karked, I believe it was."

Alexsandr's jaw dropped, "That's awful I'm sorry I'll talk to her," and he moved as if to get up before stopping with a cry and falling back against the pillows. 

"Yeah, don't go doing me any favors," Zeb laughed, "You're not in any shape to be doing anything much more than lay here."

Alexsandr sighed, "You're right, still she shouldn't be taking her anger out on you."

Zeb looked legitimately dumbstruck, "And why not exactly?"

Alexsandr smiled sadly, "Because as always you're doing what you think is right. Me being hurt by it is just a byproduct."

"Wow," Ezra blurted, "The mental gymnastics to get to that conclusion, I just...wow."

Alexsandr leaned his head back and closed his eyes, "And here I thought all gymnastics would be behind me from here on out." 

There was an extended pause before both Ezra and Zeb groaned at Alex's joke while he laughed obnoxiously, "Oh come on! That was funny!"

Ezra reached up as if to smack Alexsandr only to have Alex grab his hand and hold it in his against the bed grinning. Zeb had missed the beginning of this but caught the subsequent handholding and shared look. He coughed awkwardly and was about to excuse himself. Looking back at Alexsandr he changed his mind seeing that the man had suddenly gone gray. Reaching out he placed a hand on Alexsandr's shoulder asking, "Sasha you feeling alright?"

Alexsandr turned his head slowly and blinked several times, seemingly unable to focus, "Yes..I'm, I'm fine Garazeb...not to worry." By the end of the sentence his speech was slurring and he quickly lost consciousness, his head lolled backwards against the pillows. 

"Alexsei?!" Ezra cried. 

Zeb tried to bring him back to consciousness saying, "Sasha, come back to us love."

A few seconds later Alexsandr's eyes fluttered open and he groped across the bed with both hands. Zeb and Ezra both took hold and gripped him tightly but could do nothing else as Alexsandr started to convulse on the bed and his eyes rolled back in his head.

Just then the door opened and Kanan entered grinning from ear to ear, "You guys I," taking in the scene in front of him he stopped and turned to yell over his shoulder, "I need some help over here!"

A medic rushed in followed by Bev who muttered, "Leave it to him to start my shift off like this." 

Hearing her voice Zeb turned and looked at her with his eyes full of tears, "Bev…,"

Nodding slowly she removed Alexsandr's hand from Zeb's grasp, "It's going to be alright. We'll take care of him, but we need room." Zeb stood still as if he hadn't heard her, his eyes back on Alexsandr who was now laying still in the bed. 

"Ezra," Kanan called tearing his padawan's attention from where he too had been staring at Alexsandr, still gripping his hand tightly. Nodding to each other silently Ezra and Kanan moved to either side of Zeb and maneuvered him out into the waiting room. 

Once there they watched silently as he moved to the opposite wall and sat on the floor with his knees pulled against his chest and his head bent. Kanan and Ezra quietly took a seat in the chairs lining the wall and continued to watch their friend. Ezra noticed Zeb was now holding what looked like a length of carved wooden and glass beads that he was running back and forth through his fingers. He also thought he could hear Zeb speaking faintly but just when he was about to ask what he'd said Kanan put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. 

After several minutes of this Zeb suddenly stopped and the change that came over him was instant. His entire body unfolded and relaxed and he let out a giant breath as if he'd been holding it this entire time. He wound up the cord and tucked it inside a pocket of his jumpsuit before standing up. When he addressed Kanan his voice was level, "Alright let's go see this kid of yours."

Ezra's jumped slightly, "I forgot why we were here in the first place! How's Hera? Is the baby alright? What'd she have?"

Kanan looked from Zeb to Ezra Ezra before answering, "Hera's fine. The baby is...perfect? I know everyone says that but," the grin from earlier split his face again as he said, "You guys, I have a son." 

Zeb moved forward wrapping Kanan in a hug, "That's wonderful, brother, “ 'm happy for you" 

It may have been the dim lighting but Kanan thought there may have been tears in Zeb's eyes again. For a moment he felt guilty being able to experience something Zeb so clearly wanted. He didn't doubt Zeb's words, but still he wanted to be mindful of his feelings and asked, "Are you sure you want to go now? We can wait until they come give us an update on Alex."

Zeb shook his head but his voice wavered, "Nah they can find us in the Captain's room if they need to."

"Zeb," Ezra started only to be cut off.

"I know yer tryin' t' help," Zeb started placing a hand on his chest where the beads rested, "and Ashla know I'm grateful. But right now that kid is the best thing happening for us and I'd like to meet him." 

"Yeah, ok buddy," Kanan agreed and led them out of the waiting room to the room where Hera was resting. Entering quietly he whispered, "Look who I found."

Hera smiled tiredly and held her arms out to Zeb and Ezra. Hugging her gently Ezra laughed, "Hey mom, how's my baby brother?"

"See for yourself," she answered nodding at the bassinet sitting against the wall. Ezra moved over to look down into the bassinet and gasped, "Kanan he looks just like you!"

Kanan laughed from his spot at the foot of the bed, "Oh yeah got my green hair and everything." The two jedi stuck their tongues out at each other as Hera watched them laughing. 

Turning to Zeb she stopped abruptly asking, "What's wrong? What happened?"

He shook his head and took one of her hands in both of his saying, "Everything's fine sis."

Hera pulled Zeb closer so he sat next to her on the bed. Pursing her lips together trying not to cry and failing she whispered, "You never call me sis unless you're sick or hurt," she reached up to the pocket on Zeb's suit where the beads were starting to fall out, "and these never come out unless someone else is." Closing the pocket back she looked Zeb in the eye and ordered, "Now you talk to me Garazeb Orrelios."

That was all it took. A sob ripped out of Zeb's chest followed by several more that shook his broad shoulders and it was several minutes before he could say, "There's something wrong with Alex." Ezra and Zeb explained what they had seen when they were with Alexsandr, his fever and vomiting and that it appeared he'd had a seizure. 

A tiny cry erupted before Hera could comment and Kanan jumped up cooing, "I got ya buddy. I got ya, daddy's coming." He scooped the baby up and handed him off to Hera quickly.

Smiling down at him she cooed in a similar fashion to Kanan, "Hello my baby, hello," glancing up she asked, Would you like to hold him Zeb?"

Zeb nodded silently as he carefully took hold of the bundle of blanket and baby. "Don't expect any baby talk," he began gruffly, stopping abruptly with an audible gasp as he looked down at the baby in his arms. Beaming he immediately began cooing in a similar fashion to the new parents, "Hi there, oh look at you such a big boy. What do you think of uncle Zeb huh?"

"He probably thinks you're funny looking because you are," Ezra muttered from where he stood behind Zeb.

Zeb looked up into the middle distance for a second before looking back down at the baby, "Spectre 7 tell Spectre 6 to stop being such a loth rat. Go ahead, tell him." 

At this the baby opened his eyes and gurgled happily causing Zeb to gasp again, "By the Ashla, the eyes on this kid!" Looking down again he cooed, "Don't think I've seen eyes like that before, no I haven't." 

"His eyes are open?" Ezra asked, "Lemme see!" He circled a bed quickly and stood at Zeb's elbow trying to peek.

"You wanna hold him?" Zeb asked. 

As Ezra nodded enthusiastically Kanan cringed, "Only if you sit down and are very careful. I mean it, Ezra."

Ezra pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat down taking the baby from Zeb slowly, "I gotcha little guy. Guess we know who's dad's favorite huh?"

"For your information I love all of my kids equally," Kanan assured him, "The accident prone ones and the breakable ones"

"Hey you hear that?" Ezra asked the baby, "Dad says he loves me too Spect- hey wait. His name's not Spectre 7. Your name can't be your call sign, or can it?"

A laugh bubbled through the doorway as Sabine entered, "Careful thinking so much Ezra, I'm smelling smoke."

Ezra rolled his eyes and whispered conspiratorially to the baby, "That's Sabine. She's the only girl on Ghost Crew aside from your mom and it makes her cranky."

The baby gurgled up at Ezra slobber flowing freely down his chin. Reaching over Ezra Sabine took a corner of the blanket and wiped his mouth saying, "Well hello, yes hi. Oh aren't you the sweetest! You guys, he's perfect!" 

She continued to gush looking back and forth between Hera and Kanan. Finally she seemed to realize that Zeb was there and her demeanor changed completely. "Oh, hey Zeb," she greeted him flatly.

Zeb ducked his head and mumbled, "Sabine, hiya."

"Thought I'd stop in to see how Alex was doing but his room was empty," she commented, "Is he on the Ghost?"

Zeb's head shot up and he looked eyes with Ezra before asking, "You sure he was gone?"

Sabine huffed, "Yeah I'm sure," staring in confusion as Ezra passed her the baby before he and Zeb stood to leave. 

Stopping at the door Zeb told Kanan, "We'll figure out what's going on and let you know." Pausing a moment he asked, "What did you decide to name our newest crew member anyway?"

Kanan smiled, "His name is Jacen."

Zeb nodded approvingly, "Alright then, Jacen you're in charge until we get back." As if on cue Jacen threw up causing Sabine to grimace. Turning to hide his snicker he mumbled, "Good on ya Spectre 7."

Back in the lobby Ezra and Zeb ran into Bev who immediately approached them saying, "I was just coming to find you. We need to talk."

As they followed her into the empty waiting room Zeb muttered, "Never heard anything good come after that sentence." Ezra's only response was to walk closer to Zeb so that their arms were pressed against each other. Zeb found he was strangely relieved by the gesture.  
Taking a seat he released a breath slowly in preparation for whatever he was about to hear.

"First I want to assure you that Alexsandr will be completely fine," Bev said softly. 

Zeb and her sat silently for several moments, the shock of being wholly unprepared for that statement evident on their faces. They'd both been ready to hear the worst. Something was horribly wrong with Alexsandr. He was in a coma, or worse that they'd been unable to bring him out of the seizure. 

Ezra jumped up excitedly, "So he's ok? Can we see him?"

Zeb and Bev shared a look and Zeb coaxed Ezra back to his seat, "Just a second Ez, hold on brother." Addressing Bev he continued, "You said he will be fine, not is. How is he right now?"

Bev sighed heavily, "He's currently sedated and just came out of surgery."

"Surgery," Ezra cried, "Isn't that the kind of thing you'd ask about first? No one even came and talked to me about it."

"You?" Zeb asked confused, then a thought occurred to him, "Oh, I'm not Lex's contact anymore am I?"

Bev shook her head quietly before Ezra apologized, "I'm sorry Zeb. If it makes you feel better we can switch it back."

Zeb waved him off, "Nah, this is the way he wants it."

Bev continued where she'd left off, "As I said he's currently sedated. We were able to bring him out of the seizure fairly quickly and once we were certain he was stable we started looking for what had caused it in the first place."

Zeb and Ezra were both tense listening to Bev explain the situation. Ezra unconsciously reached for Zeb's hand and they sat with their fingers loosely entwined. 

"It appears that over the last several days Alexsandr has been receiving a much higher dose of the SSRI than was intended. This caused the reaction you witnessed earlier and the resulting seizure."

"How the Kriff, Zeb yelled before catching himself and continuing quieter, "Er, how is it possible that he was being overdosed that much?"

Bev shrugged helplessly, "Individual error? I wrote the order myself and have double checked each dose I was responsible for giving him. But short staffed as we are I'm not the one giving each dose."

"Who is?" Zeb asked.

"Whil or one of the other medics most likely," Bev responded. 

Ezra cut in, "Whil would never let something like this happen, right Zeb?"

Zeb nodded, "Yer right kid, but then who else?"

Bev and Ezra exchanged glances and the doctor nodded for him to continue. "Zeb?" Ezra asked quietly, "Will you tell us what that other doctor told you when Alexsei lost the baby?"

Zeb looked confused but sighed, "He called me in saying he had some things that I needed to go over about Lex's care. I thought they were notes you'd left," he commented at Bev, "So I came in one afternoon while he was sleeping. But all the guy talked about was how dangerous it would be for us to try to have another baby. He said if we were this incompatible it was basically unnatural." Zeb stopped and swallowed hard. Ezra grimaced as Zeb's grip on his hand tightened but didn't interrupt as Zeb continued, "He asked me if I could really stand being responsible for the deaths of more of my people. And I can't. Too much death has happened because I couldn't stop it."

Zeb's head dropped to his chest as he shook with sobs. Ezra did his best to put his arm around Zeb's shoulders as Bev got on her knees in front of him. When she was sure she had his attention she spoke, "Zeb I don't know exactly what happened on Lasan but I do know this, you did absolutely everything in your power to protect your people. And I know this, neither you or Alexsandr are to blame for losing your children. It's horrible and regrettable and I'm so sorry it happened. But it was not your fault."

Zeb sniffed as he looked up at Bev, "Thank you. Here I was thinking all this time I'd made peace with what happened on Lasan. Guess I've still got things to work through."

Ezra smiled, "You've got plenty of people to help. I'm not going anywhere that's for sure."

"Thank you brother, "Zeb mumbled wrapping Ezra in a hug, "Hey reckon Chava was wrong and I'm actually the fool?"

Ezra laughed, "As much as you cry? Oh no the child is all you."

Zeb cuffed him playfully upside the head before turning back to Bev apologizing, "Sorry ma'am. This is how we relieve stress. We're both children."

She smiled, "No worries at all. Rest assured everything you just told me will be looked into in conjunction with this latest incident.” Zeb nodded in gratitude as she continued, “ I do need to explain a few more things. As I said we took Alexsandr back to surgery. After discussing it with him briefly it was decided that we should go ahead and repair the breaks in his leg with hardware and that way he could remain sedated while the ssri returned to a safe level in his system."

"And that all went alright?" Zeb asked. 

"Perfectly," Bev responded, "and last I checked he was doing well in recovery. He'll remain sedated for at least the next day or so but his recovery should be quick after that and I don't foresee any issues." 

Zeb let out a huge sigh and grinned at Ezra, "Should we go tell the family?" Ezra nodded and they all stood to leave. As they reached the door Zeb turned to Bev and said, "I just want to thank you again. You've done so much for Lex and me and I'm grateful." She grinned at him as he continued, "I hope it's not too forward, I've been told I'm a little too touchy feely." Suddenly he was wrapping the much shorter woman in a hug that she was struggling to return.

"Let her breathe Zeb, Karabast!" Ezra laughed. Zeb stepped back smiling sheepishly and they headed back to Hera's room. 

She and Jacen were resting and Sabine was nowhere to be found so Ezra and Zeb filled Kanan in quickly on everything they'd been told. When they were done Kanan blew out a breath slowly and asked, "How are you holding up after all that?"

Zeb and Ezra exchanged a look and shrugged in unison before Zeb answered, "I think seeing him will help. Honestly I'm feeling a little spent at the moment though." 

"I hear ya buddy," Kanan agreed clapping him on the shoulder, "It's been a wild day for Ghost Crew." 

Just then Whil approached, "Apologies for interrupting, but Captain Kallus has been moved back to his room if you want to see him. Fair warning he is still intubated."

As they made their way to Alexsandr's room Ezra asked, "Hey Zeb what's intubated mean?"

"It's where they put a breathing tube down a person's throat," Zeb explained. Seeing the Jedi's stricken expression he asked, "Are you sure you want to see him like that?"

Ezra paused a moment then nodded firmly, "I need to see him."

"Ok brother," Zeb smiled softly before opening the door.

Honestly it wasn't as bad as Zeb was expecting. Alex looks peaceful, not unnervingly still, but as if he was finally resting well. Zeb was glad for that. And the intubation system was less intrusive than he'd imagined but judging by Ezra's face the man was agitated. Zeb reached out to take his hand just as Ezra surged toward the bed.

Falling on the floor Ezra reached for one of Alexsandr's hands to take in his. For a while he just sat there staring at the rise and fall of Alex's chest with each breath, as if each one was dependent on him not looking away. Zeb took a seat on the opposite side of the bed and reached to move some hair out of Alex's face that has escaped the band. It looked neater Zeb notices. Alexsandr looked cleaner overall, more comfortable, this made Zeb relax for some reason. 

After a few more minutes of silence Ezra murmured, "I think he's going to be ok. Don't you?"

Zeb nodded silently before sitting forward with a grunt. Digging into the pocket on the front of his jumpsuit he again pulled out the string of beads. This time Ezra could see different shapes and symbols carved across them. Zeb ran them through his fingers methodically stopping at two wooden beads that look to be interlocked. Twisting them in opposite directions they popped apart separating the strand into two pieces. 

Zeb took one of the halves and wound it around his hand before laying it under Alexsandr's hand where it rested on his stomach. The other half he wound around his own hand holding it tightly. With his other hand covering Alexsandr's he began his slow intonation once again. Ezra now realized Zeb is speaking Lasana, some kind of prayer. He only caught a word here and there but he still felt as if he was intruding on something private.

As the prayer ended Zeb's voice gred louder and Ezra heard the final word clearly, Ashla. Standing Zeb returned his half of the strand of beads to his pocket. Leaning down he kissed the side of Alexsandr's head saying, "Come back to me Warrior, the Child needs you." Looking up at the ceiling he asks, "Make sure he finds his way back yeah? He's important to me." 

"To us," Ezra added, a little louder than intended, from his spot on the floor. 

Nodding Zeb laughed gruffly, "Ya hear that Sasha? Got our Jedi talking to the Ashla for you." He jerked his head toward the door saying, "Let's go kid. We'll come back in the morning."

Ezra nodded struggling to get up from the floor. Once he was standing Ezra took Alexsandr's hand again, bringing it to his face he held it to his cheek briefly before suddenly seeming to remember Zeb was in the room. Laying Alex's hand down gently he whispered, "See you later Alexsei.”

As they made their way back to the Ghost, Ezra mustered the courage to ask, “So earlier, you were praying right? To the… the…?” he trailed off without finishing. 

“Ashla,” Zeb supplied, “The guiding spirits of my people, of Lasan and Lira San.”

Ezra nodded, “Do all Lasat pray to them? Or is it because you’re in that prophesy?”

Zeb laughed at that, “Me bein’ one of the Three don’t have anything to do with it. Most pray a lot more’n I do. Never been terribly devout. But,” he stopped and fiddled with the strand of beads now wrapped around his wrist, “The Ashla have always listened to me when I needed them.” 

“What are the beads for?” Ezra asked.

“They tell the history of my people and connect us to the Ashla. They’re passed down through families, from parents to children,” Zeb explained, “Mine were made by my grandfather, my mum’s dad. She passed them on to me when I was a few years younger than you.”

Ezra stopped, turning to Zeb and asked, “You broke them, didn’t you? When you gave the other half to Alex?”

Zeb shook his head, “Sometimes beads are made in two pieces, so the strand can be shared with another person.” Zeb paused looking uncomfortable and shifted from one foot to the other, “You only do it when you intend to share your life with that person.”

Ezra stared wide eyed at Zeb, “Do you mean you proposed to him while he was unconscious?”

“Karabast no!” Zeb cried, “I wouldn’t do that! I told him once it didn’t matter to me if we got married or not, but I intend to be part of his life however he wants that. That’s what I was tellin’ the Ashla. I asked ‘em to bring him back because without ‘im I’m alone.”

Ezra looked at the ground sadly before turning to walk into the ship. As Zeb followed Ezra attempted to throw his arm across the Lasat’s shoulders, “They’ll bring him back, I’m sure of it.”

Zeb grinned throwing an arm across the Jedi’s back in return, “You think so?”

Ezra nodded, “But regardless, you’ll never be alone. Ghost Crew is your family. You’ll always have them...and me."

Zeb pulled Ezra closer, nearly knocking him off his feet, “Thanks brother. What’d’ya say we camp out in the bunk room like the old days?”

Ezra grinned up at him, “Can I have the bottom bunk this time?”

“Not on your life,” Zeb mock growled pulling the younger man into a headlock as they made their way inside the ship.


	14. Chapter 14

The call came in just before dawn broke on Yavin IV. Ryder Azadi's band was planning an assault on the imperial factories on Lothal and needed Ghost Crew's help. Preparations were made swiftly and in no time they were off. After a heated argument which she won, Hera was once again captaining her ship, as if she hadn't just given birth hours prior. She had been convinced to leave Jacen behind however. 

Kanan reasoned that he was too young to be in his first firefight and she reluctantly agreed. So Jacen was left in the care of the medbay where they had also left Alexsandr, still sedated after his surgery. Zeb could spend little time feeling guilty however as he turned his attention to the mission at hand. 

It turned out to be fairly simple in theory. Get in, sabotage the facility, get out. But life in the rebellion is ever unpredictable. And so, many hours later Ghost Crew found themselves returning to base having left Lothal completely liberated of Grand Admiral Thrawn's grasp. This had come at a price however. In executing his plan to rid his homeworld of the empire, Ezra had been taken from them. 

The remaining crew were silent for the trip back, each lost in their shared grief. Every so often a glance or a half hearted smile was offered. But nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. They were all thinking the same thought, Ezra. 

Ezra? Alex couldn't be sure but he thought he could faintly hear the Jedi's voice calling his name before it faded and Alex was left with darkness. Or mostly darkness. He could make out pinpricks of light far above him and what he thought were banks of fog surrounding him but not encroaching. 

Where was he? He reached back in his memory for the answer and found nothing. He had the sudden realization that he couldn't feel his physical body. It was as if his consciousness had become detached and was floating here in this void. The thought was enough to make Alex have a panic attack; but without lungs he found he didn't have to fight for air, without muscles he didn't have to consciously relax. He couldn't help but feel soothed.

A laugh suddenly rang out through the fog, "Don't get too comfortable! You're not staying here this time!"

Alexsandr's attention turned toward the direction of the voice. How had they heard him? He hadn't spoken. Perhaps communication here happened through thought, he reasoned. Projecting toward the voice as much as he could he asked, "And where is here exactly?"

The owner of the voice slowly moved through the fog, coming closer to Alexsandr. In a moment they were fully visible and if Alexsandr had had a mouth at that moment it would have dropped open. Standing before him was Chava the Wise. All four feet of her every detail, down to her five-foot long staff, was exactly as Alexsandr remembered. 

"Oh Chava," relief flooded Alexsandr's consciousness as he fought to form thoughts, "Mother, tell me," he began slowly, "Have I died?"

That familiar laugh rang out again and Alexsandr could swear he felt his heart swell. "No my Warrior you are yet living," she replied, "With much more living to do." Relief again flooded Alexsandr as the wizened figure before him continued, "But I am also not this Chava you speak of." 

This caught Alexsandr's attention and he immediately became indignant, "Then why do you wear her face? Who are you that you can take on the form of someone I care about just to manipulate me?!"

The one who was not Chava's eyes glowed briefly and when next they spoke it was with many voices, "Warrior be you but sound the Fool you do! We are the Ashla! We chose this form of one of our people dear to you so you might listen!"

"Listen to what exactly?" Even in his own thoughts Alexsandr sounded petulant, but he was being made to feel like a child so maybe that was appropriate. 

"Child you are not," the Ashla continued as if reading his thoughts, "Though bound the two of you are. Warrior and Child, forever entwined. Fated to be as one, even as you are separated now.'

"And what of the Fool?" Alexsandr asked, "Are we now a Prophecy of Two?"

"Two shall become one," the Ashla intoned, "Separate beings sharing a life and with the two of you the Third shall dwell."

"How tidy," Alexsandr commented.

"The Child remains reluctant to take this path," the Ashla mused, "Only with a child can all with the Warrior be set to rights."

"Believe me I'm aware of his reluctance," Alexsandr lamented, "What more is there to be done?"

The figure began to disappear into the fog even as the reply drifted to Alexsandr, "The Child and the Warrior will be as one and the Fool will be with them both. A child will bring this unity."

As the Chava/Ashla figure's voice faded completely, thunder rumbled loudly and lightning streaked through the pinpricks of light in bright blue arcs. Alexsandr felt himself falling through space as the fog rolled around him, occasionally showing him visions. There was his grandmother rocking him to sleep as a young boy. There were his parents, how beautiful his mother looked. And there was his baby brother, a face Alexsandr hadn't seen in over thirty years. 

He willed himself to move faster, to get as far from those memories as possible. In a moment they were replaced by images of his new family. There were Hera and Kanan. He saw Sabine briefly and Zeb. Then there was a small boy with bright turquoise eyes and dark green hair. Alexsandr felt inexplicably drawn to the child and was almost sad when the vision faded.

But it was quickly replaced by an image of the kit from his dreams, his and Garazeb's child. What did this mean? Were they not lost? Had they possibly not been born yet? Question after question bombarded Alexsandr as light began to filter through the images and fog. Before it was all overtaken by the light, a voice reached him and this time he was sure he knew who was calling him. As he awoke back in his body, safe in his bed in the medbay one thought remained crystal clear in his mind, Ezra.

Blinking in the bright light of the naked bulbs overhead, Alexsandr began to take in his surroundings and current situation. He was obviously in the med bay, presumably in the same room he'd been in these last few weeks. That was as far as his train of thought took him before he suddenly realized there was something obstructing his throat. Instantly he began to panic and reached with both hands to remove whatever the obstruction was. It was at this moment the door to his room opened. 

"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" A voice cried from the foot of Alexsandr's bed. A moment later Whil's face came into view, as he took hold of both of Alex's hands and began to speak calmly, "Shhh, it's alright. You're safe. But I need you to relax, can you do that? Take a deep breath. Good that's good," he praised as Alex began to slowly calm down. "You were intubated for surgery to fix your leg and we've had you sedated. Bev thought it was best," Whil explained. The longer he talked the more Alexsandr relaxed. 

"Do you think you can answer some questions for me?" Whil asked. "Blink once for yes, twice for no. Alexsandr blinked once. "Good, do you know where you are?" Blink. "Do you know who I am?" Blink. "Do you know who you are?" Blink. "Fantastic, are you in any pain right now?" Alexsandr paused briefly before blinking once. "Good! Ok well now that you're back in the land of the living let's see about getting you breathing on your own." Instead of blinking, this time Alexsandr nodded his head furiously in the affirmative causing Whil to laugh, "Alright first let's sit you up and then I'll go get what I need to unhook you."

A few minutes later Alexsandr was sitting up in the bed and Whil had returned with his supplies. "I'm going to turn off the ventilator now, alright?"Alexsandr raised a hand giving the medic a thumbs up as he pushed several buttons on a panel in the wall. Slowly the soft whir and sporadic beep of the equipment stopped and there was only silence. "Feeling alright? Like you're breathing on your own ok?" Alexsandr again gave the medic a thumbs up. "Good," Whil replied coming back to the bed and slipping on a pair of gloves before he began to unhook the apparatus from where it was fastened around the back of Alexsandr's head. He then gently grasped the tubing coming out of Alexsandr's mouth, saying, "I'm going to pull this out now alright? I need you to take a deep breath and then cough as I do, understand?" 

Alexsandr nodded, inhaling deeply before coughing as the tube was pulled from his throat. He briefly thought he was going to vomit, but fought the urge and instead took in as much air as his lungs could hold, falling back against the pillows as he did so. His gaze drifted up to the medic and then past him as he whispered, "Garazeb."

Whil huffed a laugh, "Why am I not surprised? Some people come off nearly a week of sedation and want food or a shower. But not yo-" he stopped abruptly as the back of Alexsandr's hand smacked into his chest, one finger pointing across the room. Whil turned, his gaze following where Alexsandr pointed to the doorway and the Lasat standing awkwardly. "Oh," Whil breathed. He quickly gathered his equipment and moved to leave. As he came face to face with Zeb he straightened as much as possible and leveled what he hoped passed for an intimidating glare warning, "You be careful with him."

Zeb's trademark lopsided grin split his face as he assured the medic of just that before entering the room and closing the door. He crossed the room quickly and was about to wrap Alexsandr in a hug when a coughing fit overtook the man, causing him to curl in on himself. Zeb knelt down, taking Alexsandr by both shoulders and trying to get him to make eye contact, "C'mon love, easy does it. Lean back, that's it." As he reclined against the pillows Alexsandr tried to stifle the coughing but Zeb shook his head saying, "Yer just gonna hurt yerself doin' that. May as well get it out now." 

So Alexsandr spent the next minute coughing until he could breathe easily. Once he felt he could speak he whispered, "Garazeb, where is-". He didn't get to finish his sentence however. He was abruptly interrupted by Kanan entering saying, "Zeb, I don't mean to intrude just wanted to make sure-," Kanan cut off abruptly seeing Alexsandr sitting up in bed awake. "Alex!" Turning away from the doorway, he called, "Alex is awake!" 

Moments later Sabine and Hera appeared on either side of the Jedi, Sabine sliding past him to run into the room and embrace Alexsandr tightly. As their cheeks smashed together she mumbled, "Shab I was so worried about you!" Breaking the embrace abruptly she punched his shoulder crying, "What's wrong with you, making me worry like that?" 

Alexsandr only smiled as he rubbed his shoulder and croaked, "I love you too 'Bine." 

"Apology accepted," the young Mandalorian smirked. "Want something to drink," she asked, not waiting for an answer before she busied herself with pouring him a glass of water. He took it gratefully and gulped it so quickly he nearly choked.

"Gonna start coughing again if ya keep that up," Zeb laughed gently squeezing Alexsandr's shoulder. Alex tried not to notice how he leaned into the touch, how warm Zeb's hand felt and how safe it made him feel. 

"How are you feeling Alex?" Hera asked quietly. Before he could answer a small mewling sound came from the sling across Hera's chest. She deftly wrapped one arm around the bulk, reaching inside with her other hand as she cooed softly, "Did you finally wake up? Huh? Did you have a good nap?" 

Alexsandr blinked for several seconds before he understood what was happening. Somewhat awestruck he asked, "Is that?"

Hera grinned, looking from the bundle to Kanan and finally back to Alex asking, "Would you like to hold him?"

Alex nodded emphatically and motioned for Zeb to hand him a spare pillow that he placed in his lap before Hera handed the baby over to him. Nervous as he was, he found it rather natural to hold a baby. Still he used the pillow as added support just in case. Once they both were settled he got his first look at Hera and Kanan's son, or rather his second look. He immediately recognized the child from his vision. Bright hair and eyes, skin slightly tinged green. "Well hello there," he said breathlessly as he looked down at the infant before turning to the parents, "He is absolutely perfect. I'm so happy for you both." Cuddling the baby closer Alex asked, "What's his name?"

"Jacen" Kanan smiled, "Jacen Syndulla."

"Hi'ya Jacen," Alexsandr greeted him again, his voice taking on a much softer note than usual, "I'm so glad to finally meet you." Jacen appeared less than pleased at the meeting as he began to fuss. 

"I can take him if you want," Hera offered but Alexsandr shook his head.

"It's my voice." Alexsandr guessed, "He's used to me sounding different."

"Probably not used to hearing ya baby-talk either," Zeb teased. 

Alexsandr rolled his eyes but didn't respond. Instead he turned back to Jacen, speaking softly, "Ignore the big purple guy yeah? Yeah. We're just fine, aren't we? Of course we are." Suddenly Alexsandr had a thought. Turning back to Hera and Kanan he asked, "Would you mind if I tried out something I've been told worked wonders on me when I was his age?" Both parents nodded their consent. Alexsandr closed his eyes for a moment muttering, "Now let's see if I remember this right." 

He slowly lifted a hand and began gently touching different points on Jacen's face, starting with his left cheek. From there he moved to his ear, down to his chin, then up his nose, to his right cheek, then his right ear, across his forehead, and back to the tip of his nose. As Alex traced his path Jacen's eyes remained locked on his hand, trying as hard as he could to follow. But soon enough his eyelids started to flutter and as they drifted shut Alexsandr ran his hand slowly over Jacen's face whispering, "Now I've plotted the stars of your face, you who are more precious than all the stars in space." He gently laid his hand on the infant's chest and as soon as he did Jacen grabbed one of his fingers and held it tightly, still fast asleep. 

A hush had fallen over the group as they watched Alex. Suddenly becoming aware of this he looked around embarrassed. What he saw surprised him. Sabine stood with one hand pressed over her mouth as if trying not to squeal. Hera and Kanan were both smiling at him and Zeb looked shocked and oddly as if he was about to cry. Looking back down at Jacen sleeping in his lap Alex laughed softly, "I haven't thought about that rhyme in over thirty years. Used to put me right out when I was little. My Granna taught it to us. Me and my…". He trailed off without finishing the sentence. Looking up he changed the subject abruptly, "Would you like to take him now?" He asked Hera. She nodded gently picking Jacen up and putting him back in the sling before turning to Kanan, "I think we'll go back to the Ghost. See you later." Kanan nodded, kissing her cheek. She waved goodbye before exiting. 

As soon as the door shut Sabine leaped at Alex whispering loudly, "You're the Kriffing baby whisperer! How did we not know that?!"

Alexsandr laughed uncomfortably, "In my defense, I didn't even know until a few minutes ago. I highly doubt it's a universal talent." 

"Wha's 'at supposed to mean?" Zeb asked.

"It means," Alexsandr explained, "that baby is one of the few people in my life who have only known me as someone who can be trusted, as one of the good guys. I don't intend to betray that."

"Alex," Kanan started but the other man cut him off.

"I know, I'm being over dramatic," Alexsandr sighed before continuing, "I only mean I intend to do right by your son. As odd as the circumstances may be, we are family after all."

Kanan looked like he was going to say something then changed his mind. Instead he grinned and said, "You're already a great uncle, keep it up." Nodding at Sabine to indicate they should leave he started toward the door. 

"Kanan wait!" Zeb called.

Whatever Zeb was about to say Kanan waved off saying, "You two need some time together. Everything else can wait." With that the Jedi and the Mandalorian took their leave.

Silence settled over the pair as both tried to think of something to say. Finally Zeb spoke, "Karabast Sasha! Watching you with Jacen I just...all I could think about was ours and how.." He seemed to deflate suddenly as he mumbled, " 'm sorry Sasha. For everything."

Reaching out he took Alexsandr's hand without making eye contact. Alexsandr twined their fingers together absently as he tried to come up with a response. But what was there to say? Too much it seemed. Silence again stretched out for minute upon minute. Alexandr found himself getting tired and began to doze off. Some time later he jerked awake suddenly, his gaze falling on the matching lengths of beads on both his and Zeb's wrists. As if on cue his time with the Ashla and his vision came flooding back to him. Sitting up in the bed he blurted a single word, "Ezra!"

Zeb jerked suddenly, startled out of some train of thought, and glanced around as if hoping to see the Jedi, "Karabast ya scared me! Yeah, was gonna wait to tell ya but…" Zeb trailed off, as Alexsandr finished his thought.

"He's gone," Alexsandr stated. Zeb's only response was a quick nod. "Where?" Alexsandr asked, meeting Zeb's confused look.

"What'd ya mean where?" Zeb asked. "He's... gone Sasha," he continued gently. 

As understanding dawned on Alexsandr, he found himself shaking his head slowly, "No," he scoffed, "You can't mean...Garazeb be serious."

Zeb ran a hand down his face and moved closer to the bed, still speaking gently, "I am serious Alex." He quickly explained the mission on Lothal and what had happened with Thrawn and the Chimera. When he finished he was barely fighting back tears, "I shouldn't'a let him outta my sight. Knew he'd go off an' try some heroic nonsense." Zeb wrapped Alexsandr in a hug as he continued, " 'm sorry Sasha. I'm so sorry." 

And Zeb did cry then. Great heaving sobs wracked his body as he leaned against Alexsandr. And Alexsandr held him. As Zeb cried himself out Alex held him, saying nothing, his mind furiously working to understand how Ezra could be gone when he'd seemingly just heard him calling Alexsandr's in that dream or vision, whichever it had been. Sitting up Zeb began wiping his face and trying to regain his composure. Glancing at Alexsandr awkwardly he mumbled, "Sorry 'bout that," but Alexsandr shook his head silencing him.

"You clearly needed that Garazeb," Alexsandr replied, "Never apologize for expressing your emotions." He gave Zeb's hand a gentle squeeze to emphasize his words. 

Nodding Zeb asked, "What about you?"

Alexsandr laughed quietly, "I think it's best if we don't go to pieces together don't you?"

Zeb huffed, "Yeah guess yer right. You ok though?"

Alexsandr nodded silently before saying, "I think so? I'm not entirely sure how I feel." He shrugged his shoulders, continuing, "It could be that it just hasn't hit me yet. But more than anything right now I'm proud of Ezra." 

Zeb smiled genuinely at that replying, "Yeah, me too." He stood quickly and stretched yawning, "I should get out of here, and get some sleep, got the night watch," he glowered.

Alexsandr smiled softly watching him stretch and move. Shaking his head to clear it, he coughed, "Yes, well I should probably try to rest too. Come by later when you're free?" When Zeb nodded he added, "And if Kanan isn't too busy, would you ask him to visit again?"

"Sure thing Sasha," Zeb replied, "Want him to bring the sprog?"

"Absolutely," Alex grinned. 

Zeb laughed at his sudden excitement and then looked around awkwardly before leaning down and kissing Alex on the cheek. "See you soon, Sasha," he whispered against Alexsandr's skin, his warm breath sending shivers down the man's spine. 

Alexsandr almost told him to stay but he held back. But he couldn't help calling out as Zeb reached the door, "Garazeb wait! I," he paused, took a deep breath and continued, "I'd like to talk at some point, later I mean. There's a lot that needs to be said, about us." He emphasized the last word, making his point obvious.

Zeb drew himself up to his full height and tilted his head, considering his words carefully, "Yeah, we can talk. After you're recovered," he added pointedly. 

Alexsandr sighed and nodded, knowing it was likely the best response he was going to get. With a wave Zeb turned and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. In the silence Alexsandr suddenly realized how tired he actually was. He adjusted the pillows and pulled the blanket up across his chest before easily drifting off to sleep. 

The dream that awaited Alex was the farthest thing he could have imagined, literally. As everything came into focus, he realized he was aboard Thrawn's ship, the Chimera. But it was much changed since Alexsandr had seen it last. Debris was scattered across the bridge, broken consoles, and chairs were strewn about. But what caught Alexsandr's attention was the giant many tentacled creatures, purrgil Zeb had called them, that were threading themselves through several windows and sections of the hull. And held fast in the grip of one of the purrgil was none other than Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Alex's first reaction was to run. Just the thought of the Grand Admiral made his blood run cold after the beating Thrawn had given him upon discovering his work for the rebellion as Fulcrum. But once again he realized he was separated from his physical body and therefore not experiencing the usual signs of a panic attack. This relaxed him. Perhaps he was unnoticeable in this state, he thought.

"Alexsei?!" A voice called Alexsandr's name from across the bridge. 

Turning his attention toward the source he found a second purrgil twisted around one of the pylons supporting the ceiling. Wrapped in its tentacles was Ghost Crew's young Jedi comrade. "Ezra!" Alex cried, noting that he did have command of his voice in this realm. At the sight of the boy relief flooded through Alexsandr. If they'd been able to his knees would have given out beneath him. "You're alive! Thank the Ashla!" He breathed. 

"Kriff it's good to see you!" Ezra laughed. "I honestly wasn't sure who I'd make contact with when I started trying, or if it would even work. But here you are!"

"Not in the way you hoped I'm afraid," Alexsandr replied, "My body is in the med bay asleep. I don't know how I can be of any help to you."

Ezra just smiled and tested how much he could strain against the tentacles holding him, "It's enough brother. Trust me. If I can reach you, I can get back to you."

"Ezra…," Alexsandr started unsure. 

The Jedi fixed him with a stare, "I am coming back Alexsei. We need each other. We're-".

"Family," Alexsandr finished smiling. "Alright brother, alright. Any message for the rest of the family?"

Ezra shrugged as much as he was able, "Maybe tell 'em to keep an open mind? Kriff I didn't get through to you until you were practically in a coma!"

"I knew it was you calling me!" Alexsandr cried.

Ezra laughed, "Sure was. Can't wait to talk about your visit with the Ashla! Wasn't able to eavesdrop," he sighed dramatically. 

"Oh I'll tell you all about it," he drawled sarcastically before laughing, "Karabast I'm just so thrilled you're alive!" 

"Honestly so am I," Ezra admitted nodding at Thrawn. "Though if he had his way I wouldn't be."

"Is he?" Alexsandr asked, indicating the clearly unconscious Thrawn.

"Dead?" Ezra asked. "No, but close to it I think." He grimaced at the Chiss, "His energy field is thready, feels weak." Turning back to Alexsandr, Ezra's eyes had turned cold, "Good riddance."

A chill ran through Alexsandr, if such a thing were even possible in this state. He was suddenly doubly determined to see Ezra back safe where he belonged. "Get home soon, you hear me?" Alexsandr ordered. 

Ezra nodded firmly, "Yes sir, Captain Orrelios!"

The edges of Alexsandr's vision started to blur and realizing he was waking up he asked quickly, "Ezra what are you talking about?"

As the bridge of the Chimera faded completely Ezra's laugh reached him, "Ask Zeb what that bracelet means!"

Blinking awake, Alexsandr shot straight up in the bed just as the door opened revealing Kanan and Zeb. Kanan grinned sheepishly, "We were trying not to wake you, sorry."

"Ya want us t' go?" Zeb asked.

Alexsandr shook his head quickly, blinking when the movement made him dizzy. When he had gathered his bearings he replied, "No, please stay." He motioned to the chairs on either side of the bed and each took a seat beside him. 

"Zeb said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Kanan asked, and Alex couldn't be sure but the Jedi seemed on edge almost apprehensive. 

Alexsandr nodded again, "I know how this is probably going to sound but I promise you I'm entirely serious." He waited for Kanan to nod before continuing, "He's alive. He's alive and he's trying to get back to us."

A beat of silence passed and Zeb asked, "Um who Lex?"

The grin on his face nearly split it in two as Alexsandr answered, "Ezra." 

Kanan paused briefly before saying slowly, "Well, yeah Alex. Of course that's what we all want to think but-" before he could continue Alexsandr cut him off.

"I don't think! I'm telling you I know he's alive!" Alexsandr cried indignantly.

"Alright, hey easy Lex," Zeb soothed laying a hand on Alexsandr's wrist where the beads were wrapped, "Start from the beginnin' an' explain what ya mean."

Alexsandr glanced down at the beads and then back to Zeb as he tried to gain his composure. Taking a deep breath he began, "Well I assume it has something to do with you invoking the Ashla on my behalf." He caught Zeb's eye and held his gaze continuing, "I know what these beads signify Garazeb, and what sharing them with someone means." He paused, grinning slightly, "Tell me you didn't actually convince Ezra you'd proposed to me while I was unconscious though."

Zeb sputtered, "I did NOT! He knows I want to o' course but," he stopped suddenly noticing the smirk on Alexsandr's face, "I mean, ah Karabast!"

Here Kanan mercifully cut in asking, "Are you saying you had a vision and met the Asla?"

"Ashla," Zeb and Alex immediately corrected.

"Right, sorry," Kanan apologized, "So the Ashla spoke to you...while you were still sedated and told you Ezra is alive."

Alexsandr shook his head, waving one hand, "No, no! They merely admonished me for the way I'm handling Child care," he replied emphasizing the word as he looked pointedly at Zeb before continuing, "But I believe he was calling to me. Honestly I could barely make out what he was saying."

"So how do you know he's alive?" Kanan asked. 

"Because he brought me to the Chimera when I was asleep just now," Alexsandr replied simply.

"Ok, I'm gettin' Bev to have a look a' you," said standing hurriedly but Alexsandr grabbed his hand quickly holding him back.

"Garazeb you know me better than any other soul in the galaxy," Alexsandr began, "Look me in the eye and tell me what I'm saying isn't true."

Zeb turned back toward Alexsandr slowly and looked him in the eye before sighing, "Yeah, yeah ok." Sitting heavily he asked, "But Sasha...how?"

This time Kanan answered, "Force projection."

Alexsandr tilted his head curiously, "Beg pardon?"

Kanan shrugged, "You were unconscious for both visions/dreams whatever they were right?" Alexsandr nodded and Kanan continued, "It's possible the force allowed you to project your, for lack of a better word, being, to a separate plane when you talked to the Ashla and then again to wherever Ezra is."

Alexsandr shook his head slightly, "I'd have to be force sensitive to be able to do something like that and I'm not-".

"If that is what happened," Kanan countered, interrupting him, "Then you absolutely are." Locking eyes with Alexsandr he asked, "Is that so impossible to believe?"

Alexsandr's breath caught in his throat as he answered, "My family has always had a rather...complicated relationship with Jedi." 

Suddenly felt his chest tightening and realized he was having a panic attack. He found himself wishing he could leave his body behind like when he spoke to the Ashla. Sound started to become muffled in his ears and his vision blurred. Just as he felt himself losing consciousness his hand was gripped tightly. Alexsandr looked up to see Zeb's face swimming before him; his lips moved but Alexsandr couldn't make out the words. 

He focused on Zeb's face, willing his body to relax. In another minute he found he was able to take a shallow breath, then another. Zeb smiled and nodded encouragingly. Soon Alexsandr's vision cleared and his hearing returned to normal. He sank back into the pillows still holding tight to Zeb's hand. 

Kanan stood frozen half way between his seat and the door. Turning to Alexsandr he asked, "Are you alright or should I get someone?"

Alexsandr shook his head at the same time as Zeb nodded. He glared at the Lasat momentarily before answering, "Thank you, but I'm fine." He held up a hand to cut Zeb off saying, "I know, I know! Like Kriff I am."

"Well," Zeb muttered under his breath.

Alexsandr laughed quietly, "Alright fine is a bit of an overstatement, but that doesn't mean you need to go involving-" just then the door opened and Alexsandr cried, "Bev!"

"Hello all," she smiled softly, "Alex how are you feeling?"

He smiled back at her, "I'm doing well I think, very little pain."

"He just had a panic attack," Zeb offered, receiving another glare from Alexsandr.

"That was my fault," Kanan admitted ducking his head slightly. Turning to Alexsandr he continued, "I really am sorry. I didn't know."

Alexsandr waved him off, saying, "Precisely why you shouldn't apologize. But let's talk about all that later." 

Kanan nodded his agreement then excused himself quickly, "I've got to get back to Hera and the baby but call if you need anything! See ya later Zeb."

When he had left Bev turned her attention to Alex, quickly taking his vitals and examining his leg, all while peppering him with questions, "No pain you said? Have you been dizzy, felt faint? Any headaches?"

Alexsandr shook his head saying, "Aside from that bit of anxiety earlier I feel fine."

Bev nodded and asked, "Did Whil check your feeling and movement in your leg?"

Again Alexsandr shook his head. "No worries," Bev replied, "We'll do it now." Taking something from her pocket she poked the middle of the bottom of Alexsandr's foot asking, "Feel that?"

Alexsandr giggled loudly before clapping a hand over his mouth, "That tickles!" 

Bev smiled and moved on to several more spots along his foot winking at Zeb as Alexsandr squirmed, "Is that actually necessary or are you just trying to torture me?"

"Why not both," Bev grinned. 

"Haha, very funny," Alexsandr deadpanned, "Anything else?"

"Just one more," Bev promised, "Try to move your foot for me."

"Did I not just now?" Alexsandr asked. Bev shook her head.

Alexsandr glanced at Zeb and then stared at his foot as if willing it to move. Nothing happened. As the seconds ticked by Alexsandr began to panic. 

His mind immediately filled with thoughts of living life permanently disabled, oddly the first time he was considering himself as such. His thoughts raced as he considered whether Zeb would even want anything to do with him if Alexsandr suddenly had to be constantly cared for. He didn't even realize how hard he was gripping the blanket until Zeb took both of his hands in his. 

"Hey," Zeb whispered softly, "Relax Sasha, it's ok."

Alexsandr shook his head, eyes filling with tears, "Garazeb what if I'm …"

Zeb reached up and brushed the tears from his cheek, "Don't change nothin'. I love ya Sasha." Zeb leaned in reaching up with his other hand to cup Alexsandr's face as he captured his lips in a kiss.

Alexsandr's lungs forgot how to function as he returned the kiss, deepening it, trying to put all of his love for Zeb into this one action. He was absently aware of a tingling sensation running down his right leg but ignored it. Suddenly a loud crack filled the room and Bev gasped. Breaking their kiss Alex and Zeb turned their attention to where Bev stared at Alexsandr's foot that had twisted sideways, toes curled. Zeb squinted at it a moment before uncovering Alexsandr's other foot that they discovered was in the same position. 

Grinning cheekily Zeb turned back to Alex, "Yer welcome."

Alexsandr laughed but abruptly stopped as he registered the pain coursing through his ankle, "Karabast that hurts!" He grimaced. A moment later both feet had completely relaxed and this time both ankles cracked causing Alexsandr to cry out in pain. Wincing Alexsandr leaned up and threw a punch that glanced off Zeb's shoulder.

"What was that for?" Zeb asked confusedly. 

"You were taking credit a minute ago," Alexsandr groused.

Bev coughed to regain their attention, "Boys? Are you finished?"

"Yes ma'am," they replied quietly. 

"Good," she smirked. "I imagine the stiffness will work itself out once we get you back on your feet. I'm really pleased with your progress so far so I don't look for that to be too much longer."

Alexsandr breathed a sigh of relief and was about to thank the doctor when something else occurred to him, "Bev? I haven't had a chance to ask anyone else yet, do you know what caused the seizure I had?"

Bev briefly shared a look with Zeb, who nodded and took Alexsandr's hand as she answered, "Yes. It was due to you receiving an incorrect dosage of the medications you were on. That's partially why we kept you sedated so long. We wanted to give your body a chance to recover."

Alexsandr stiffened and returned the grip on Zeb's hand replying, "I see, but there's been no lasting damage?"

Bev shook her head, "None that we're aware of."

"And the dosages have been corrected?"

"Yes," Bev assured him, continuing before he could speak, "And the person responsible has been identified and dealt with."

"Dealt with?" Alexsandr asked, "That sounds like you had someone executed for a clerical error," he laughed. Looking at both Zeb and Bev's expressions, the severity of the situation hit him, "It wasn't an error then. They intended to cause me harm."

Bev nodded again before saying, "But you have my word you are completely safe. As is anyone else needing our care. Every precaution has been taken to make sure that nothing like the things you've been through happen again." And with that Bev left them to see to her other patients. 

When she had left Alexsandr mused, "I'm almost convinced she did kill someone. What do you think? Zeb?"

Beside him Alexsandr could feel Zeb nearly vibrating as he growled, "If I ever get a hold of that piece of scum I swear I'll," he stopped when he felt Alexsandr's hands on his forearms trying to pull him closer.

"Garazeb it's alright," Alexsandr soothed, "I'm going to be fine."

Zeb surprised Alexsandr by surging forward to wrap him in a hug as tears soaked Alex's shirt. He could barely make out what Zeb was saying between sobs.

"I know yer alright," Zeb sniffed, "But if ya hadn't'a been I...Sasha I've lost too much. I can't lose you too."

Alexsandr leaned back and put a hand on either side of Zeb's face tilting it so they were looking at each other, "Now you listen to me Garazeb Orrelios. You cannot lose me. You hear me? It can't happen," pausing he took Zeb's hand in his so the beads of both their bracelets brushed against each other. "Warrior and Child. We are Ashla ordained. Fated to be as one."

Zeb cocked his head sideways, "Since when do you do poetry?"

Alexsandr laughed, "That was actually more of a direct quote, but I'm inclined to trust the source."

Zeb continued to look at him quizzically for a minute before sliding onto the bed next to him and asking, "So should we look into getting you some grub or do ya want to take a nap?"

"Why can't I have both?" Alexsandr grinned cheekily as he leaned up for a kiss. 

"Sasha, you can have whatever you want," Zeb promised as they snuggled against each other.

Several hours later Zeb left but only after making sure Alexsandr at least attempted to eat. As they said their goodbyes there was a knock at the door and Whil entered. Zeb smiled at him as he passed, waving back at Alex and promising to be back soon.

When the door shut Whil smirked at Alex, "I heard Captain Orrelios made your toes curl earlier. Is it true?"

Alex grabbed a pillow, and briefly considered smothering himself from embarrassment but instead chucked it directly at the medic's face saying, "Shut up Whil."

Whil laughed, catching the pillow in midair, "What? I'm thrilled for you! Both your recovery and your public display of affection."

Alex ran a hand over his face grunting, "Noted. Regardless, shut up."

"Testy, testy," Whil chastised. "Is it because you're in pain?"

Alex shook his head, fingers still combing his facial hair, "No I'm actually quite comfortable. It's," he paused wondering how much he should say, "Well, it's Zeb."

Whil frowned, "But I thought things were going well between you two again?"

"They are," Alex agreed, "I just wonder for how long."

Whil nodded at the beads circling Alexsandr's wrist, "I'd say an engagement means quite a while."

Alexsandr laughed, shaking his head, "We aren't engaged, I assure you. Garazeb gave me these when he prayed to the Ashla on my behalf."

"So," Whil began slowly, "He invoked his gods and asked them to save your life? That sounds an awful lot like love to me." Turning to leave he smiled, "You two are good for each other. I hope you can let yourselves be happy together."

As Alex sat thinking to himself in the silence he mused aloud, "I'd probably end up regretting it because you're annoying, but I wish I could talk about this with you Ezra."

"Ezra…Ezra…," Kanan sat meditating repeating the name of his padawan, "C'mon kid...if you're out there answer me!" After a few more minutes he gave up. Standing up he brushed himself off and stalked back to the Ghost in frustration. As he entered the galley, he saw the one sight that could make him feel better in this moment, the love of his life feeding their son breakfast. 

Hearing him stomp in Hera looked up saying, "No luck I take it."

Kanan shook his head, joining her at the table. Leaning over her shoulder, he smiled down at Jacen as the boy finished his bottle. Resting his head against hers, he sighed, "I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing something wrong, but I don't know what that something is."

Setting the empty bottle down Hera replied, "I know how badly you want to help Ezra but beating yourself up won't accomplish that. You are doing the best you can and Ezra would tell you the same thing."

"I wish he could," Kanan murmured.

"I know my love," Hera replied, passing their son over to him, "For now concentrate on your other son. He's missed you this morning"

"Have you?" Kanan asked Jacen, "Did you miss Daddy?"

The half Twi'lek grinned up at the Jedi as he chewed one chubby fist. His only response was to gurgle contentedly. Kanan smiled down at Jacen wishing more than ever that their family could be together. Letting his mind drift he thought, "Come back to us soon Ezra."

"Ezra...Ezra!...Ez-," Alexsandr jerked awake as the door to his room opened, the dream, (or was it a nightmare?) he'd been having, already fading. 

Whil grinned at him, "What do you say about getting out of here?"

"Don't toy with me," Alexsandr warned, "Am I really sprung?" When Whil nodded Alexsandr leaned back in the bed, hands covering his face. "Thank the Ashla!" He breathed, dragging his hands down through his beard. 

He'd been improving little by little the last few days, even getting used to being up and around on a cane, though this one was sturdier than his rescue cane and provided much-needed support. Alex was thrilled at the idea of leaving the medbay. He missed the busyness of Ghost Crew and just their closeness in general. Thinking of the crew made Alex think about Zeb and his thought process was clearly evident from his facial expression. 

"Before you ask, I already called him," Whil replied to the question Alex hadn't even asked yet. "He'll be around in a few hours, which gives us plenty of time to get you ready."

"Ready?" Alex asked. "It's not going to take me hours to put on pants Whil."

The medic huffed, "Well I thought maybe you'd want to, I don't know, shower? Maybe take a pass with a toothbrush. Do something about," he gestured vaguely, "that."

"Did you just gesture at all of me?" Alex asked, faking being scandalized. 

"Just your face," Whil quipped back.

"What's wrong with my face?" Alex asked. 

Retrieving a mirror from the joined bathroom Whil handed it to Alexsandr. When he saw his reflection Alex said the only thing that came to mind, "Whoah." It seemed as though his hair had grown at least an inch probably more and was moving closer to being shoulder length at this point. As for his previously coiffed facial hair, it had become completely unruly, and Alexsandr started entertaining the thought of maintaining a full beard from this point forward. Looking back at Whil he grinned. "Looks as though I might be well suited to living as a Lasat," he joked.

Whil just shook his head, grinning, "To each their own I suppose. You are up for a shower and dental hygiene, though yeah?"

"Definitely," he agreed. Grabbing the cane from the side of the bed he stood slowly and made his way into the small bathroom. 

"Handheld showerhead, if you're more comfortable with that; bars to support you should you need it; and a seat if you get tired," Whil listed off the accessibility tools present, folding down the seat in question as he did so. "Everything you need should be in the caddy on the wall. Holler if you need anything." Before exiting the bathroom he added, "And Captain? Take your time."

Alexsandr nodded and thanked the medic, pulling his shirt over his head and flinging it so it landed on the edge of the small sink. He was about to attempt removing his sleep pants while standing as he was used to, but thought better of it. After working them past his hips, he sat on the bench to remove them the rest of the way, mentally applauding himself for this one instance of not doing something the hard way. Finally he sat aside his cane to begin showering. Almost instantly he began to have difficulties. 

He quickly realized he still wasn't strong enough to stand unsupported. But holding on to the bar left him down a hand. This led him to sitting down for the entirety of the shower, which he found quite agreeable. That is, until it came time to wash his lower half. 

Washing his legs and feet was fairly easily accomplished leaning down and holding on to the bar for balance. But washing the rest required more careful thought. Firstly he rinsed himself and made sure the shower floor was free of soap before standing again. 

"The last thing I need is to slip and break my leg again," Alex thought ruefully. Then standing carefully he used his free hand to apply soap to the washcloth, scrubbing where necessary and again rinsed thoroughly before sitting again. Leaning back against the shower wall he massaged the shampoo he'd left sitting on his hair into his scalp and even applied some to his beard. After rinsing both he again leaned into the shower wall, letting the steam and warmth wrap around him for a few minutes. Finally satisfied that he was clean, and feeling much more relaxed than he had in days, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

Immediately Alexsandr was presented with another conundrum, drying himself. A stack of towels sat on the edge of the sink where he'd put his shirt. Now standing in the middle of the bathroom and quickly growing chilly, Alexsandr moved to reach for the towels. As he maneuvered, the tip of the cane moved into a puddle of water on the floor. Suddenly losing his balance and seconds away from hitting the floor Alexsandr yelled, "Karabast!"

Just as his cane flew out from under him and his legs started to give out Alexsandr felt himself being supported by a hand under each arm. Craning his head up Alexsandr saw Zeb's face grinning down at him. He took a deep breath and waited for the blood to stop rushing in his ears before attempting to speak. Even then, he barely managed to whisper, "Garazeb...you're early."

Zeb's grin widened as he replied, "Good thing too. What would ya do without me eh?"

"I shudder to think," Alexsandr sighed. 

"Nah yer just cold," Zeb joked, "So what's the plan Lex?"

Alexsandr thought for a moment before answering, "Back to the bench I think."

"Right," and with no further warning Zeb lifted Alex off his feet, carried him across the room and deposited him on the shower seat. 

"Thanks," Alexsandr mumbled distractedly. 

"Sure thing," Zeb replied before adding, "Hey Sasha, catch," and throwing a towel at Alexsandr. He snagged it out of the air and began drying himself off as Zeb grabbed another and knelt down to dry off his legs and feet. 

"Garazeb you don't have to," but Alex trailed off as Zeb looked up at him.

"If you don't want me to I won't," Zeb spoke evenly, "But I don't mind takin' care of ya Sasha. Not at all."

Alexsandr nodded silently and continued to dry off his back. When Zeb had finished drying Alex's legs he stood and grabbed another towel. This one he dropped over Alex's head as he began drying the man's hair. Alex's voice came out muffled as he asked, "Um Zeb? What are you doing?"

"Oh!" Zeb stopped suddenly and moved the towel to look at Alex directly, "Sorry, got carried away I guess." Cocking his head sideways his ears swiveled in amusement. "Hey Sasha? You ever notice yer hair is really fluffy?"

Alex rolled his eyes snatching the towel from the Lasat, "I'm aware, thank you."

"I like it," Zeb said softly, reaching out as if he was going to pet Alexsandr on the head, "My fur don't do that, too short I guess."

Alexsandr glared at him, and was fully prepared to threaten him if he moved any closer, but a shiver ran down his spine at that exact moment causing him to squirm and his flesh to pucker slightly. Zeb's hand stilled, coming to rest on Alex's shoulder where his fingers traced the small bumps. "Can't do that either," he breathed, sounding almost in awe.

"Garazeb," Alexsandr murmured, fighting to make his brain work his mouth, "I'm cold."

"Karabast," Zeb swore under his breath, "'course ya are. Hang on." Apparently Zeb meant this literally, as he proceeded to scoop Alexsandr up off the bench, while attempting to keep a towel in place around his hips. "Nobody look," Zeb cried reentering the room, "Naked rebel intelligence officer coming through!" He looked around the empty room and then back at Alex grinning, "Aw, no audience, sorry Lex."

Alex laughed out loud at that and almost lost his grip on Zeb's shoulder saying, "That's quite alright I assure you."

"If you say so," Zeb replied, depositing Alexsandr on the bed gently before moving around to the other side. 

Suddenly something occurred to Alex, "Zeb, I don't think I have any-".

"Clothes?" Zeb finished for him producing a duffel bag from where it had sat on the floor. "Gotcha covered." Zeb brought the bag to him saying, "We didn't want you to have to worry about anything, Whil, me, the crew. So he called ahead. Sabine packed your bag." Zeb finished as he bent to pull out pants and a shirt.

"Leave it to 'Bine,"Alexsandr laughed seeing the clothes, his comfiest sleep pants and a tshirt sporting the logo of Zeb's favorite band.

"Love those guys," Zeb commented.

Alex nodded in agreement, "A bit old school but still great."

"Wha'd'ya mean? Zeb asked. 

"Garazeb I used to listen to this group while I was at the Academy," Alexsandr replied. 

"So?" Zeb asked.

"Love how old am I?" Alexsandr quizzed.

Zeb paused a beat, the realization dawning on him slowly, "Karabast, we're old! Well, you're older, but still, by the Ashla!"

Alex flung socks at him in retaliation for his comment and continued getting dressed. When he had finished, Zeb went to put the bathroom to rights and retrieve Alex's cane. Returning he handed the cane over and shouldered the duffel. As he did several papers fell out of the end pocket, all folded over together. Alex bent carefully and picked them up to examine them.

"What's 'at?" Zeb asked. 

Alexsandr began to shake his head in response but stopped short as he looked over the scrawled handwriting that covered the pages. Looking up at Zeb he replied, "These are notes Ezra took when he was doing research…" Alex paused to swallow around the lump in his throat, "before I miscarried." Turning the pages so Zeb could see he continued, "He even appears to have written out a list of questions to ask the doctors."

Zeb began to tear up as he read down each page. Fighting a lump in his own throat he sniffed, "Aw, Ezra."

Some time later, when they had left the medbay and gone back to the Ghost Zeb asked, "So about what Kanan said the other day, all that force stuff," he waved one hand vaguely.

Alex sighed, "Whether or not I'm force sensitive isn't the question. It's very possible, probable even, that I am given my family history. But I can't use the force, even to help Ezra. I'm sorry Garazeb." He sat tensed waiting for the Lasat's reply.

"Been thinkin' the same thing," Zeb admitted.

"You have?" Alexsandr asked, ashamed of the relief building in his chest. 

"Well, yeah," Zeb nodded, "After everything with yer family, losin' yer little brother. I get it Sasha."

"Are you angry with me for it?" Alex asked softly.

"Karabast!" Zeb cried causing Alexsandr to jump where he sat next to Zeb on the bunk. Glancing over apologetically Zeb continued more quietly, "I'm trying to say I understand Alex. I know why you feel like you can't do this and it's ok." He took the man's hand in his gently, lacing their fingers together and pushing their wrists together so the beads of their bracelets clacked gently. 

"I have to do something though, don't I?" Alexsandr asked, tearing up and hating how small and pitiful his voice sounded.

"Ashla!" Zeb blurted suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Alexsandr asked, looking at him in concern.

"No," Zeb replied, shaking his head, "That's the answer, the Ashla."

Alexsandr paused for a moment, his eyes suddenly lit up, "You mean if I can make contact with the Ashla again they may be able to help me guide Ezra back?"

Zeb nodded enthusiastically, "You and Kanan can try together. He'll use the force, you use the Ashla."

Alex still didn't seem entirely convinced. "What if it doesn't work?" He asked. 

Zeb smiled warmly, wrapping an arm around Alexsandr's waist and pulling him closer, "There you go asking questions again. Where'd you get that from anyhow?"

"A terrible influence, of that I assure you," Alex replied, nuzzling his face into the fur of Zeb's neck.

Zeb laughed loudly and swiftly deposited Alexsandr in his lap growling, "C'mere you."

This elicited a sharp cry from Alexsandr as he gripped his right leg and Zeb's shoulder tightly. "Garazeb," Alexsandr groaned, the rest of what he said lost as he whimpered into Zeb's fur.

"Karabast 'm so sorry luv. I'ma Kriffing-," he cut off suddenly realizing Alex had stopped breathing. "Hey now none 'a that," he coaxed gently, patting Alexsandr's side, "Breathe babe. I know it hurts, but deep breath." This got no response from Alexsandr aside from his other hand reaching up to grip Zeb's forearm. Fearing he would start to hyperventilate Zeb leaned his head away from Alexsandr's and yelled, "Hera, Kanan, need somebody's help in here!"

A few moments later the door opened to reveal Chopper, one arm raised as blue sparks danced back and forth across his appendage. Taking in the scene, the droid slowly lowered his arm, trilled something Zeb couldn't make out and sped off. "Thank Ashla for small mercies," Zeb thought. 

He looked up again hearing footsteps, and saw Hera standing in the doorway. "What's wrong with him?" She asked, coming into the room and crossing to the bunk. Zeb shook his head but before he could answer she was kneeling and rubbing circles in Alexsandr's back asking softly, "What happened? Can you tell me what's wrong?" 

Alexsandr still didn't speak, but he slowly began to relax, and Zeb felt him finally start breathing, his chest rising and falling against Zeb's own, air ruffling the fur of Zeb's neck slightly as he exhaled. Hera continued ministrations until Alexsandr had relaxed enough to sit up and look at them. He smiled blearily as he wiped at his face. "I'm terribly-," he started before Zeb cut him off.

"Ashla help me," Zeb warned, "if you say sorry right now. Say literally anything else, I'm beggin' ya. Handsome, intelligent, funny, any of those'll do."

"How about flattered," Alexsandr mumbled, his face turning even redder than it had been. 

Zeb grinned, "I'll take it!"

Hera rolled her eyes at the pair before asking, "Now will someone tell me what happened here?"

Zeb scratched at one ear looking guilty and muttered, "Yeah that would be my fault, sorry."

"Oh so you get to apologize but I don't, is that it?" Alexsandr asked.

"When I hurt you I get to Kriffing feel bad about it," Zeb grumbled.

"Ok, start over," Hera directed so Alexsandr did. Explaining that they'd been talking and got a bit overly amorous. Zeb had lifted him and it hurt his leg.

Here Zeb interrupted, "You forgot the part where you cried and stopped breathin'." He looked like he wanted nothing more than for the floor to swallow him and it twisted at Alexsandr's heart.

"Yes," he sighed, "because I knew it would make you look like that." The miserable look on Zeb's face deepened. "Oh shab," Alexsandr muttered, "Garazeb, darling. It's alright." Zeb looked like he wanted to disagree but Alexsandr kept talking. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Neither of us were thinking particularly clearly." Here he winked at Zeb before continuing, "My leg isn't fully healed and even when it is I'll likely have to navigate a whole new normal. I'm going to need help with that."

"And you'll have it," Hera promised, placing a hand on Alexsandr's arm. 

He smiled at her before turning back to Zeb, "What say you Garazeb?"

"Try and stop me," Zeb laughed gruffly. 

Alexsandr kissed his cheek before saying, "Now that we've settled that, could I get the two of you to assist me?"

"Absolutely," Hera nodded.

"Wha'd'ya need?" Zeb asked. 

"I think I'd like to lie down for a while," he answered before turning to Hera, "But I seem to have a Lasat under me."

Hera nodded knowingly, "He used to be underfoot all the time until you showed up."

"Har, har," Zeb deadpanned. "So how we doin' this Lex? Wanna shift backwards? Or ya think standin' would be better?"

"Standing I think," Alexsandr replied. "Hera," he asked, "could you get my cane?"

Shifting so his feet were on the floor, he took his cane firmly in hand and made ready to stand, only to have both Hera and Zeb stop him. Hera crossed to the other side of Zeb so she could take Alexsandr's free hand, and Zeb placed a hand on either of his hips saying, "In case you need a boost."

Before he stood Hera whispered loudly, "If you're going to fall pull us onto him." 

Alex winked at her as Zeb grumbled, "Heard that. Ya buncha conspirators."

Alexsandr stood slowly, nodding to Zeb half way up to brace him. Then he was standing, though still experiencing some of the pain from before, as he took a few steps away from the bed. Hera slid an arm around his waist, still holding onto his free hand.

"Terrible idea Hera," Alexsandr gritted out through clenched teeth.

"I'm with Lex, Zeb agreed, "Lemme take over Hera." He stood quickly, stepping in and supporting Alexsandr as she had been.

"If you two really don't think I'm strong enough to-," a piercing cry interrupted the rest of her sentence. "The baby's awake," she sighed. She moved to leave, turning back at the door to say, "If you need anything I'm right down the hall."

"Now where were we?" Zeb asked as the door closed. "Oh right," he grinned, "I was gettin' you int'a bed."

Alexsandr rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide the blush creeping over his face. Coughing roughly, he started moving again. As they turned back toward the bed, Alexsandr's legs suddenly gave out. Thinking quickly, Zeb scooped an arm underneath him, and tossed the cane onto the desk.

Alexsandr blinked at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before laughing, "I'm always being swept off my feet around you."

Zeb laughed, "Ezra likes to call that my Lothcat-like reflexes. Don't know what it means, but sounds like an insult t' me." Alexsandr just grinned in response and adjusted his grip on Zeb's shoulders. 

Turning to the bed, Zeb laid Alexsandr down as carefully as he could. Still the man grimaced as pain coursed up his leg and into his hip. When it had let up enough he asked, "Garazeb could you get me a few pain tabs?"

Zeb looked surprised, but did as he was asked. When Alexsandr had finished taking them Zeb commented, "I knew you had to be hurting pretty bad."

"How's that love," Alexsandr mumbled sleepily.

"You didn't have to be reminded not to call Hera Captain once," Zeb replied softly, brushing the hair out of Alexsandr's face as he nodded off. Zeb waited for a reply, but got nothing aside from a slight smile followed by snoring. Zeb pulled the blanket over his chest and left Alexsandr to rest.

A few days later, Alexsandr joined Kanan for his morning meditation. Discussing it beforehand, Kanan had agreed that Alexsandr attempting to communicate with the Ashla, while he reached out with the force, might help them make contact with Ezra more easily. But this proved not to be the case. When he meditated alone or communicated with the Ashla in his dreams, Alexsandr was immediately taken to that same fog filled plane. When he joined Kanan however, he couldn't make the connection. 

This grew to be incredibly frustrating for both of them as they attempted for nearly a week with no results. Finally Kanan was fed up. During their now normal morning meditation he broke the silence yelling, "This isn't working! Forget it, we're not going to reach him this way."

Alexsandr opened his eyes and turned to face Kanan from his position on a large boulder. Grimacing, he apologized, "I'm sorry. Perhaps there's something I can do to improve my concentration."

Kanan huffed as he stood up and brushed himself off, "What you could do is try using the force," he mumbled something else Alexsandr couldn't catch. 

"Beg pardon?" He asked, standing slowly. 

Kanan glared at him, "I said your brother would have tried, no questions asked."

The air left Alexsandr's lungs momentarily, but he recovered quickly asking, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Kanan sneered, "Oh don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Your brother...your baby brother who apparently got all of your family's force sensitivity."

Drawing himself up to his full height, he stepped closer to Kanan saying, "I'm afraid you're mistaken my friend. Again, I'm sorry we haven't been successful yet. But I am willing to keep trying. Tomorrow?" 

He nodded and began to step away, only for Kanan to begin speaking again, "Oh I'm not mistaken. What was your mother's maiden name again? Kestis wasn't it?"

Alex wasn't even aware he'd raised his fist before it made contact with Kanan's face. The Jedi crumpled to the ground as Alexsandr looked on, the shock of the moment threatening to overtake him. Instead of comm'ing the others for assistance, he turned and made his way back to the Ghost all the while praying his legs held out. As he covered the short distance to the ship, he offered up a prayer, "Ashla forgive me." He just made it into the galley as his knees buckled beneath him, managing to pull himself onto the seat across from Hera before he hit the floor. 

Before she had a chance to ask what was going on, Zeb was squatting down next to him checking him over for injuries fretting, "Karabast Sasha what happened to ya?" Alex weakly tried to push his hands away as he sank into the seat, forcing air into his lungs. 

Just when he thought he could answer Zeb, Kanan's voice came from behind him, "You hit me?"

Alex fought the urge to sink as low as possible in the seat, and instead turned to look the Jedi in the eyes. Or rather eye, as one was already swollen shut. Blood also spattered the front of Kanan's shirt, apparently from a bloody nose. Alexsandr winced looking at him. Standing quickly, he leaned into Zeb until he was steady, then he turned toward Kanan.

"Alright, I'm ready," he told Kanan.

"Ready for what?" Kanan asked.

"For you to take your shot," Alexsandr replied, Zeb will even catch me if I fall. So come on."

"I will not!" Zeb cried.

"What do you mean you won't?" Alexsandr asked.

"I'm not gonna let him hit you at all!" Zeb replied.

"But he hit me first," Kanan returned.

"I don't care!" Zeb yelled.

"Alright! Alright, no one is hitting anyone!" Hera ordered. "There will be no bleeding on my ship, unless I say so. Now explain yourselves, quietly. Jacen's still-" once again, she was interrupted by a shrill cry. Rubbing the bridge of her nose she muttered, "Kark." Walking out of the galley she turned to address the group, "Behave yourselves while I'm gone." All three nodded in unison.

Turning back to Kanan, Alexsandr said, "You're still welcome to hit me as far as I'm concerned."

"Alex!" Zeb whispered loudly.

Kanan sighed, "I'm not going to hit a-".

Before he could finish his sentence Zeb gasped, "Kanan!"

"A friend," Kanan finished firmly, eyeing Zeb. 

"A friend?" Alexsandr asked quietly. 

Kanan nodded moving across the galley to embrace Alexsandr saying, "I am so sorry Alex. I shouldn't have said the things I did. And I absolutely do not blame you for anything."

Alex returned the embrace awkwardly before stepping back and looking at Kanan asking, "You're sure you don't want to hit me? Fair's fair after all."

Kanan grinned, "Nah, I don't need your boyfriend retaliating."

Zeb puffed out his chest grumbling, "That's right."

The three of them sat at the table and Zeb pressed close to Alex, nearly pulling him into his lap. "So what exactly happened out there?" He asked gruffly.

"And keep the details kid friendly," Hera warned, walking back into the galley with Jacen and sitting down next to Kanan. 

Kanan nodded at Alexsandr to go ahead. Taking a deep breath Alexsandr began, "Well as you know we've not had any success reaching Ezra. In fact I don't seem to be able to meditate at all when we attempt it together. We've both been getting frustrated and it came to a head today. Specifically Kanan's," he finished with a smirk.

Kanan glowered momentarily before sighing, "Completely true and entirely my fault." He continued before Alex could disagree, "I was angry. And in my anger said things I shouldn't have. I never should have compared you to your brother. Or even brought up the fact that I knew who your mother was. I was trying to provoke you and it worked. Just not in the way I hoped," he finished, gently prodding his swollen face and wincing.

"I wasn't even aware I'd hit you," Alexsandr admitted. "I was already trying to hold it together after you mentioned Cal. Then you said my mother's name and-"

"Wait," Hera stopped him turning to Kanan and asking, "He's Cal Kestis' brother?"

Kanan nodded and she continued, "As in the boy you met at the Jedi temple...the boy who…" she trailed off hugging Jacen tighter before passing him to Kanan and looking at Alexsandr with tears in her eyes.

"Ok hold on," Zeb blurted, "Clearly you all have parts of the story others don't. So let's maybe start from the beginning. That ok with you Sasha?"

Alex released a deep breath and replied, "Garazeb it's been so long since I talked about this with anyone."

"And you absolutely don't have to do it now," Hera interjected, reaching out and taking his hand. 

Alexsandr smiled and returned the gesture replying, "Actually, I think it might be good for me." Settling back against Zeb's side he began, "I grew up on the upper levels of Coruscant, not the crust, but high enough we saw a fair amount of daylight. My father was a businessman, not terribly well connected but he liked to act like it. My mother was educated but chose to stay home and raise us. There was just my brother and I; we were decently separated in age, something like six years I think. My grandmother lived with us as well." 

Alexsandr paused briefly, his eyes becoming misty. "Apologies," he continued, "Granna died when I was around eight years old I believe; shortly after that my brother Cal started exhibiting force sensitivity. My father was outraged, insisting that having a Jedi in the family would tarnish his reputation. My parents fought about it constantly. Until one day I woke up and my mother and Cal were gone. Before I could ask where they went, I learned I was being shipped off to the imperial academy."

Silence hung heavily in the air of the galley when Alexsandr finished. The only sound was the soft coos and snores coming from Jacen who had fallen back asleep in Kanan's arms. 

Looking down at his son, he spoke softly, "I don't think I'd even had my sixth birthday when I first met Cal. We were instant friends. He was so full of laughter and so talented, even being as young as he was. I would have been jealous if I hadn't been so proud to be his friend. I used to imagine us both being on the Jedi council together when we grew up, but then..." Kanan trailed off.

Zeb spoke into the silence, "Order 66." Alexsandr stiffened in Zeb's grasp. The pride and love he felt for his brother was slowly smothered by grief at his loss. No, he corrected himself, their loss. Clearly Kanan had lost a brother too.

Hera moved to embrace Kanan saying, "Cal and Master Tapal had been off world and word eventually reached the remaining Jedi scattered across the galaxy that he'd been killed."

It took Zeb a beat for Hera's words to sink in. "Tapal?" He asked abruptly, "As in Jaro Tapal?"

Kanan looked up nodding saying, "I'm sorry Zeb."

When Alexsandr turned to him confused, Zeb explained, "Lasat Jedi. One of the only ones I'd ever heard of." Alex moved closer to Zeb and tightened his grip on Zeb's hand, not having words to convey his sympathy. 

Several minutes later Alexsandr finally broke the silence, "Thank you Kanan."

"For what?" The Jedi asked. 

Alexsandr smiled sadly, "For telling me about my brother, for being his friend, and mine."

A short time later they all went their separate ways. Kanan and Hera took Jacen to their room. Zeb went to finish up some work. And Alex went to rest in the room Ezra had been staying in since Alexsandr had joined Ghost Crew. He'd been hesitant at first, but he still couldn't sleep two to a bed while his leg was healing, and he wouldn't allow Zeb to sleep on the floor on his behalf. So he reluctantly agreed to this solution for the time being. 

Entering the room he sat down on the bed heavily. He suddenly felt as if he could sleep for the next several days. Emotional stress was always something he'd underestimated. Leaning his cane against the desk, he started to pull his legs up onto the bed, but stopped when he noticed the desk drawer opened slightly and something glinting in the light. Against his better judgment he opened the drawer to investigate. 

What he found was some kind of metal object wrapped in a length of cloth. It was nearly as long as his forearm and cylindrical. He was about to put it back when he noticed a piece of paper fastened to the fabric with twine. The paper had a single word written on it, Alexsei. Had Ezra bought him something? He decided to investigate further and unwrapped the object.

What he saw left him speechless. Laying in his lap was what appeared to be the hilt of a lightsaber. But why had Ezra made him a saber? He wasn't aware that Alexsandr could possibly be force sensitive was he? Maybe Kanan had said something and he made it on a whim?

Too many questions filled Alexsandr's mind that he had no answers for. Shaking his head to clear it, he picked up the hilt and tilted it toward him as his finger started to depress the button on the side of the hilt. Thinking quickly, he tilted it away from him just as several feet of metal extended from the hilt. Pulling it closer Alexsandr realized what he was holding. Ezra had made him a cane.

Smiling, he collapsed it back to its original size, and placed it back in the drawer before laying down. As he drifted off to sleep he whispered, "Thank you Ezra."

Several hours later, Zeb was on his way to the fresher when he noticed Kanan standing in the hall listening to something. As he walked closer he realized Alex was crying out in his sleep. He moved to open the door, but stopped to ask, "Were ya just gonna stand there listenin' to him?"

Kanan ducked his head mumbling, "After today I wasn't sure if I would be helping or hurting."

Zeb nodded abruptly, and entered the room speaking softly, "Alex, hey Lex. Shhhhh it's ok." Zeb began slowly carding his fingers through Alexsandr's hair as he continued, "C'mon Sasha wake up for me. It's Zeb. It's your Zeb. Come on wake up."

Slowly Alex's crying quieted and he blinked awake. As soon as he recognized Zeb, he reached out to him almost hungrily. Zeb sat on the bed and pulled Alexsandr up against his chest, holding him close and whispering to him. Soon Alexsandr was again calm and on the verge of sleep. Seeing this, Kanan nodded at Zeb and left the two of them alone. 

After a few more minutes Zeb moved to lay Alexsandr back in bed, but the man held on to him. "Garazeb," Alexsandr murmured, "Please don't leave."

"Alright Sasha, I'll stay," Zeb replied, sitting back down. Again Alexsandr resisted, saying, "Sleep with me."

"Will you be comfortable?" Zeb asked. 

A small smile crept over Alexsandr's face as he replied, "No Zeb, sleep with me."

Understanding smacked into Zeb like blaster fire. "Alex I...Are you sure?"

Alex nodded, reaching up to pull Zeb down for a kiss whispering, "I've missed you so much Garazeb."

Zeb nodded, "I've missed you too Sasha. I...I'm sorry. I thought being apart was the right thing. But it wasn't. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Alex smiled up at Zeb saying, "I love you so much Garazeb."

"I love you too Sasha," Zeb replied. 

Hours later the two of them laid wrapped up in each other's embrace. It had been some time since they'd been together like that, or like this Alexsandr mused, as Zeb dozed one cheek pressed against Alexsandr's stomach. He watched in amusement as Zeb's ears twitched in response to the dream he was having. Reaching down, he slowly started to run his fingers through the fur of Zeb's neck, across his shoulders and down his back. In no time Zeb was purring in his sleep, exactly the response Alexsandr had intended. 

"Garazeb," Alexsandr whispered softly, "Garazeb wake up."

Zeb grumbled and buried his face in Alex's stomach. "Ya can't make me," he mumbled.

"I can't, but I bet Mon Mothma could," Alexsandr threatened adding, "You have guard duty again tonight."

Zeb leaned up and yawned, "Remind me to kill Hobbie."

"Yes dear," Alexsandr nodded, as Zeb stood to retrieve his clothes from the floor. "Shut off the light before you leave?"

"Nope," Zeb grinned even as he flipped the switch, "Sweet dreams Sasha."

As he often did now, Alexsandr dreamed of Ezra. Though he was never sure if they were dreams or visions anymore. Regardless, this was no different. He found himself aboard the Chimera once again, with the ship in a familiar state of dilapidation. The only difference, he seemed to be alone save for the purrgils; Ezra and Thrawn were nowhere to be found. 

Suddenly there was a commotion to his left. Turning, he saw Thrawn and Ezra locked in physical combat. Before he could stop himself he cried out, "Ezra, run! This way!" Both Thrawn and Ezra looked in his direction. Had Thrawn actually heard him or was he just following Ezra? Regardless it was the moment Ezra needed to break away, and he ran towards Alexsandr just as Alex's vision began to fade.

Back aboard the Ghost, Alex jolted awake unsure of what had awoken him. He laid there in the dark a minute allowing his heart rate to slow. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure rise from the floor. Fearing the worst he dove out of bed, grabbing Ezra's cane from the door and dashing to turn on the lights. 

He stood, holding a blanket around himself with one hand, and brandishing the hilt of the cane at the figure who had slumped back to the floor. Finally getting a good look, Alexsandr collapsed in relief and pulled himself across the floor to embrace the young Jedi where he'd fallen. He pulled the boy into his lap hugging him tightly as he moved his now shaggy hair from his eyes.

"Told ya I'd come back to you," Ezra slurred before losing consciousness.

Finally coming to his senses, Alexsandr began to shout for the members of his crew, "Kanan! Garazeb! Hera! Sabine! Chopper! Everybody Kriffing get in here!"

Zeb got there first, having just come back from guard duty. He ran down the hall and burst into the room yelling, "What's wrong Sasha? Are you hurt? Wha-" he cut off mid word, taking in the sight in front of him. "By the Ashla," he murmured reverently.

Alexsandr grinned up at him, tears streaming down his face as he replied, "It's Ezra."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! This chapter is longer than previous, hope that's alright. There were several plot points I wanted to get laid out. I really hope you enjoy it! Feel free to leave me kudos and comments. I thrive on validation and interaction! Ok happy reading, bye!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Well, this chapter concludes what I currently have written for The Continued Adventures of the Warrior and the Child. I hope to have more for you soon, but unfortunately I don't know what an upload schedule is going to look like. If you're enjoying this story (and I hope you are) you won't have too long to wait, I promise. In the meantime, feel free to come hang out with me on tumblr @bifinmediasres.


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